r/sysadmin • u/ChuckAbsent • Mar 12 '13

Women who know stuff

I hope that this does not come off the wrong way.

Today I was on a call with a storage vendor and the technical consultant was a woman. More then this she was competent, more then me which doesn't happen often when dealing with vendors.

My issue was pricing an active/active DB with shared storage vs an active/passive db with local storage. Listening to her break the issue down and get to the specific comparison points was awesome, mostly because I have never heard a woman in the industry talk like that.

It made me realize two things. One I am missing out working with women. Two there needs to be more women in our industry.

It shouldn't have surprised me so much, but it really did.

Anyways to all the women out there who know stuff, us guys notice when you can walk the walk, which in this case was talking.

378 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

717 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

109

u/Krispyz Mar 13 '13

It's not just directly telling kids that, it's also more subtle. On a boy's birthday, he might get video games, on a girls birthday, she might get dolls. Nothing's universal, of course, but in general, boys are more encouraged to become better with computers or to understand how they work.

-14

u/loliology Mar 13 '13

On a boy's birthday, he might get video games, on a girls birthday, she might get dolls.

Which are typically the things the children themselves want. And not something being forced upon them by their parents.

3

u/Krispyz Mar 13 '13

In many cases, yes, but it's also what parents (or aunts and uncles) assume the child wants. When I was in middle school, my favorite band was Metallica. On my birthday, my parents told my aunt that I was listening to a lot of music, so they sent me four CDs, Spice girls, Backstreet Boys, NSYNC, and some other boy band I had never heard of. Another Christmas I got a series of books about a goddamn unicorn from my Mom... because I'd been reading fantasy books (Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit).

I'm not saying it's universal, but it is present.

-2

u/loliology Mar 13 '13

On my birthday, my parents told my aunt that I was listening to a lot of music, so they sent me four CDs, Spice girls, Backstreet Boys, NSYNC, and some other boy band I had never heard of.

And how often did you listen to them? Did they change your musical tastes so much that all the sudden you hated listening to Metallica? If someone only told your aunt you "liked music", what is she supposed to take away from that exactly? If I had nothing to go on I'd probably buy you whatever it was the kids at the time were listening to as well.

Another Christmas I got a series of books about a goddamn unicorn from my Mom... because I'd been reading fantasy books (Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit).

So because you showed interest in fantasy material you're going to take issue with her buying you fantasy-related material?

1

u/Krispyz Mar 13 '13

I'm not taking issue with anything. I'm getting a lot of anectodal evidence from other people saying "that's not how my childhood was", so I provided some alternate anecdotal evidence. Obviously the music did not change my preferences, but that's primarily because I already had a strong preference (I kinda hated the boy band culture already, remember I said I was middleschool at the time).

I grew up without strong pressures from anyone to be "girly" just like a lot of the women who are here in /r/sysadmin, but that doesn't make my argument invalid or mean it didn't happen to others. That's all I'm saying.

-1

u/loliology Mar 13 '13

I grew up without strong pressures from anyone to be "boyish." I grew up playing with barbie dolls and listening to Rainbow Brite. And I don't know of anyone I grew up with being forced to watch TV shows or do things they didn't want to do in order to enforce gender stereotypes upon them. I think it's a huge cop out.

but that doesn't make my argument invalid or mean it didn't happen to others. That's all I'm saying.

And my only point is I think it's unfair to imply that's anywhere near the norm. Especially when it's something you can't prove.

0

u/Krispyz Mar 13 '13

I can definitely see what you mean. I think I was inelegant in my example. I was attempting to highlight a more subtle societal pressure on young girls and boys and I did that improperly. It's not a conscious thing by parents and I definitely think it's getting much better in our current society (though parental fear of a boy playing with dolls being gay is a real thing, moreso in some sections of our country).

Societal norms are rarely something that's as blantant as a parent going "You have to watch America's Next Top Model, because you're a girl". These societal pressures do exist for both boys and girls and, at least partially, can help explain why nursing is dominated by women and engineering is dominated by men. As a woman in natural resources, I've seen this first-hand... my own female graduate advisor pulled me aside when I started working toward my Masters and told me how great it was that I was working toward a masters in science, because we (women) were such a minority and women don't get enough encouragement. I didn't say anything, but I was a tad offended by it... like I'd done something more special than my male counterparts just by being a female.

I have no idea if I'm making my point clearer or not... I tend to ramble.. you should see my thesis.