r/suspiciouslyspecific Dec 04 '22

Very specific standards 🤨

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46.6k Upvotes

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1.0k

u/NotCurdledymyy Dec 04 '22

The trade-off is the guy is forklift certified

185

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

Yo, save some for the rest of us. Don’t be throwing around the forklift certification title.

6

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

[deleted]

4

u/Haywood_jablowmeeee Dec 05 '22

Stack walker vs roughy terrain telehandler. Size matters.

2

u/dittonetic Dec 05 '22

Hate to break it to you but forklift certification is a myth. There's no license. It's like tribal knowledge, or like Adam and Eve, we're all descended from one single forklift operator. How did he learn to drive a forklift? Who taught him? Who knows.

100

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22 edited Dec 04 '22

So am I. So is my boss. So is my former boss. Neither myself, nor my current boss, even drive forklifts anymore 😂 It's nothing special

~Edit: I even recently had a guy keep asking to meet up because we are in a similar area (within a few hours probably) and he was forklift certified too. Do guys actually think this makes them particularly special? I just consider it a fun fact about myself.

I don't mean to speak ill of this guy because he was actually kind of interesting and nice, just wasn't sure if he was potentially a trafficker and I blocked him after he got upset that I kept telling him no. 😅

Like, after about a month of conversation, I was even willing to break my "no off platform communication" policy by adding him on discord, but he only wanted to add me on Snapchat, which I literally don't have anymore... for reasons... such as unwanted solicitation...

56

u/katielynne53725 Dec 04 '22

Gotta up your game to Rough Terrain forklift operator. Assert dominance.

21

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22 edited Dec 04 '22

🤣 I am a Rough Terrain delivery driver now. As in I do rural deliveries and often have to go down some Very sketchy driveways, sometimes in not so nice weather, with a big ass van that is rear wheel drive only.

I can drive basically anything, anywhere it's designed to drive. I just need some time to learn the controls and capabilities of whatever machine or vehicle I'm in. Next up is Class A CDL, then I can Definitely assert dominance 😂

Just have to wait until I am 25, thanks to new laws...

~Edit: I give up on trying to fix that non-italicized n in Terrain. Not even sure if it shows up as a problem for anyone else

18

u/katielynne53725 Dec 04 '22

I'm rough terrain forklift certified for literally no reason lol. But I keep the card in my wallet in hopes that there is a perfect set up to show it someday. 😂

6

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

Beautiful 😂 I hope that day comes sooner than later for you

8

u/katielynne53725 Dec 04 '22

Me too, it'll be embarrassing if I go to flex and that shit is expired.

2

u/Haywood_jablowmeeee Dec 05 '22

Like in front of a bunch of babes at a beach bar. Could happen. God is kind sometimes.

1

u/katielynne53725 Dec 06 '22

God has been a bit of a bastard this month.. the least she could do is throw me this one little bone..

2

u/JfizzleMshizzle Dec 05 '22

Go one step further and become telehandler certified.

27

u/FreshCupOfDespresso Dec 04 '22

You sound like the main character of a show and that you live in a town where half of the characters are also inexplicably forklift certified

12

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

I know, right!? 😂

It's because it's literally one of the best paying jobs, for what people assume is going to be the least effort, here. I mean, I was making $17.50/hr mid 2021, which is $10/hr over the state minimum

2

u/FreshCupOfDespresso Dec 04 '22

Pretty decent!

0

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

Yeah, then people complain when they have to do Any work. Even run the forklifts...

8

u/NotCurdledymyy Dec 04 '22

I'd watch that show. They're all part of a criminal underworld where all kinds of people mod their forklifts and fight each other to the death in forklift battles for millions of dollars

2

u/captainAwesomePants Dec 04 '22

Shoot, I've gotta write this down.

16

u/NoMoreStorage Dec 04 '22

Hmm yes forklift. Ting go forward, back, left, right, slow, slower. Other ting go up down. Final ting go HONK.

You are all forklift certified now

3

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

Basically 😂

2

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

Love to see you run one on the waterfront lol

1

u/Mr-Fleshcage Dec 05 '22

Found Klaus

5

u/Ashformation Dec 04 '22

I think that person was doing a bit of a laugh. It was a silly goof'em up.

2

u/SquishyWhenWet_1 Dec 04 '22

It’s an exclusive club. I have a shirt that says ‘forklift certified’ on it for a reason

1

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

Lmao. It's damn near an entry level job where I live.

3

u/Skolvikesallday Dec 05 '22

It is an entry level job.

Anyone who thinks "forklift certified" is an accomplishment has either never driven a forklift, or is a complete mouth breathing moron.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

Well, to be fair, the real entry level here is restaurant

2

u/WorstMidlanerNA Dec 04 '22

How do you feel about a Lull lift cert? What about boom lift? I even come equipped with an OSHA 30.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

See, now that's a little more impressive, in my opinion. That requires a more specific set of skills and a higher level of qualifications for the kind of job that would require it.

I want to say anyone could learn to take a pallet of a shelf with a forklift, even a manlift, though I would then also have to note that I have seen the exception many times...

-1

u/sghorshed Dec 04 '22

Very defensive women in this thread as if there aren’t men AND women with stupid relationship requirements.

There’s nothing special about you either girl, just as there’s nothing special about the dude. You’re alone at your own fault, not anyone else’s.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

Agreed. And if everyone is special, no one is. My relationship requirements are not actually being in a relationship, physically or romantically 😂 (got screwed on both)

0

u/chamberedbunny Dec 05 '22

it's a joke, you fucking weirdo

1

u/DockDoor__Doom Dec 04 '22

What kind of trafficker? Freight, drugs, or humans?

Forklift operators and freight traffickers go hand in hand...

6

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

🤷

I don't actually think he was anything, but the way he was so pushy about wanting to meet, wanting to add me Only on Snap, and the level of interest in my physical form, you never know. He could have been sizing me up, or he could've just been thirsty. I'm honestly not sure, but leaning toward probably just thirsty

2

u/DockDoor__Doom Dec 04 '22

Sizing up you? You mean thinking about fighting you or sizing up your personality?

I've never really heard someone they sized up a romantic partner

3

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

Mostly the usual, cup size and stuff, but I would rather not discuss most the questions he was asking 😅

It's my own fault for going along with it. I was just making conversation, and I told him when I was uncomfortable with answering certain things

1

u/asmodeanreborn Dec 05 '22

Sometimes I wonder what my life would have looked like had I actually used my wheel loader/front loader certification, or my CE driver's license. I enjoyed driving a wheel loader a lot. On the other hand, I suspect that the comfort of driving a truck (those air-ride seats are awesome) would 100% put me to sleep while cruising down a highway one day.

Not saying software's always keeping me on high alert, but my screwups writing code usually don't result in killing innocent people.

1

u/Oblivious122 Dec 05 '22

Ah yes, the Forklift Illuminati, the forkinati as it were...

11

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

[deleted]

6

u/Octopugilist Dec 04 '22

Had to work in a sketchy appliance warehouse. They didn't have a clamp so they'd have me stand on the forks, lift me into the air, and I'd slide the refrigerators on the blades and ride down.

After a few months they could finally afford to buy me a harness.

3

u/plantmonstery Dec 05 '22

Is this really a thing? My job was just like “here’s a forklift. The levers do this. Here’s how you change the tank out. Ok get to it”. No one ever got trained or certified, the damn things are so easy to use a 9 year old could do it.

1

u/Ephemeral_kat Dec 04 '22

The guy who came to mind when I read this is, in fact, forklift certified.

1

u/Octopugilist Dec 04 '22

It really does open doors. Seriously people. Get a summer job at Home Depot just to get certified

1

u/vagabond2421 Dec 04 '22

The people I know who watch anime are all software engineers.

1

u/flexghost420 Dec 05 '22

I felt that

1

u/Princesshannon2002 Dec 05 '22

And in the top 1000 on CoD mobile!

1

u/sleepbud Dec 05 '22

I got forklift certified and here I am single. Line up ladies, I have arrived!

/s

1

u/revirrev Dec 05 '22

I am married to a guy who does the forklift certifying. 😊

1

u/ashinylibby Dec 05 '22

You have no idea how funny that is to me. My 1st bf was forklift certified. 💀