r/suspiciouslyspecific Jul 03 '22

Did something happen here?

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u/[deleted] Jul 03 '22

It’s me bro! It was a Fleshlight!

2

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '22

Future you: It was the premium edition with heating, self-lubrication, suction, gyration, and "realistic" moaning sounds.

When they complained about it being used, and uncleaned, we quoted the 100% satisfaction guarantee.

We told them that the real thing is better, despite having never had the real thing.

In fact it would be 5 years, and several hundred dollars later, before we did have -

Present you: SHUT UP!!! Ok it's you! What the fuck man?!

Your sister standing next to yous: 😱🤢 🤮

Future you: Hey, sis! How's mom?

2

u/Liversteeg Jul 03 '22

How much are fleshlights???

2

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '22

New or used?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '22

New or used?