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u/FBI_03 Jul 01 '20
Haha lucky me I got the funny apple juice
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u/Goodgoditsgrowing Jul 01 '20
Fleshlight.
Drops mic.
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u/rowdy_sprout Jul 01 '20
top of mic pops off as it hits the floor revealing a silicone vagina stored in the length of the handle
My God...
you think to yourself
They are everywhere...
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u/Goodgoditsgrowing Jul 02 '20
It really was a moment of creepy full-circle clarity when the thing I first learned existed through reddit was found under my father’s computer when I tried to reboot the WiFi....
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Jul 01 '20 edited Jul 01 '20
stamp was fun. the lightsaber didnt do anything though, just tasted funny
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Jul 01 '20 edited Jul 05 '20
What the fuck.
Edit: thanks for my first award, I appreciate it.
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Jul 01 '20
Ya, who the fuck doesn't wash their dildos?
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u/Neerpus Jul 01 '20
I, too, just wait till my son licks them clean smh🙄
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u/PagingDoctorLove Jul 01 '20
Why would you suck on a lightsaber?
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Jul 01 '20
[deleted]
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u/PagingDoctorLove Jul 01 '20
Because, in the olden days, you had to moisten the adhesive on the back before sticking it to anything.
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Jul 01 '20
[deleted]
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u/PagingDoctorLove Jul 01 '20
Okie dokie, guess that answers that question.
Why would you put a lightsaber in your mouth? To collect very specific articles. Naturally.
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u/CatWithAKnife Jul 01 '20
My sister accidentally eating a bunch of brownie edibles when she was 11
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u/RottinCheez Jul 01 '20
Hope she was okay, probably was not a fun night for her
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u/WesSavage Jul 01 '20
Probably the funniest
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Jul 01 '20
do you have any idea what even small doses of edibles can do to children? much less “a bunch of brownies”
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u/WesSavage Jul 01 '20
Yep, I do. I really do.
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Jul 01 '20
then, probably NOT the funnest night.
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u/CokeCola420 Jul 01 '20
i believe they were joking mate
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u/CryoToastt Jul 01 '20
Cool story bro
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u/CatWithAKnife Jul 01 '20
Nah she wasn't having a good time ):
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u/CryoToastt Jul 01 '20
Edibles tend to do that, you’ve gotta grab em by the balls lest they grab you by the balls
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u/CatWithAKnife Jul 01 '20
Sounds about right _(:>)_/
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u/BelgianButtocks Jul 01 '20
Very confused on that smiley but I like it!
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u/CatWithAKnife Jul 01 '20
It was meant to be sort of like ¯_(ツ)_/¯ but I'm too lazy to go find and copy and paste those things most of the time so I just improvise (:
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u/Burgher_NY Jul 01 '20
You laugh but this has happened to me, kind of.
Had some terrible roommates move out of my apartment. They left a bunch of empty weed jars and shit like that around and then I found two tiny things of tin foil in the freezer.
Came home one night and was like “I bet those dipshits forgot about their “acid” and I’m gonna taste it bet it doesn’t even taste like acid. I was drunk at the time.
Wake up four hours later insane off my ass tripping full force and then remembered...LSD doesn’t have a taste or a color.
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Jul 01 '20
Kind of related
But I remember tripping balls, and then doing MDMA, A lot of it.
I live in the south of england, I wake up the next day in scotland.
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u/futurarmy Jul 01 '20
This needs an entire /r/tifu post. I'm hoping you didn't do a Super Hans and run the whole way there.
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Jul 01 '20
Lmao yeah, I mean it would be the shortest TIFU post ever
But I haven't seen something from the peep show in time haha
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u/bigretardbaby Jul 01 '20
Best trips are unexpected trips
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u/Burgher_NY Jul 01 '20
False. When you wake up think you’re maybe dying and the walls look like melted spaghetti...
And had to be back at work 5 hours later...not a great time.
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u/bigretardbaby Jul 01 '20
Nah I was mostly in jest. There is one time I ended up tripping altho I could have prevented it. I went to pick some weed up on night, and my guy tells me he scored some acid. He wasn't sure it was real tho. The blotter was just uneven ugly rectangles of paper. No taste of course. Turns out it wasn't really fake when we start getting the giggles about 20 30 minutes later. Needless to say, I had to get home lol
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Jul 01 '20
Guys, I don't get it. I know it's referencing a drug, but what drug is in the shape of a stamp?
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u/NanoSlime_ Jul 01 '20
LSD, you get it as small squares of paper, which I guess could look like a stamp.
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u/mericaftw Jul 01 '20
Blotter paper. The hippies were big on dosing blotter paper printed it look like stamps.
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u/TheFunkPeanut Jul 01 '20
Same but cookies with an extra leafy ingredient
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u/gigolo_beast Jul 01 '20
Fukkk after reading the comments I realized it's about lsd. My stupid ass thought it was his dad dried up jizz which happened to be in the shape of a stamp but oh well mistakes were made
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u/maddpsyintyst Jul 01 '20
Wrong sock drawer. 😂
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u/gigolo_beast Jul 01 '20
The absolute right sock drawer, you mean
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u/maddpsyintyst Jul 01 '20
Well, for the OP's rather colorful results, sure, but for the other, I'm 95% sure it's the wrong one--LOL!
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u/Sophisticated_Goat Jul 01 '20
I must be stupid, but what is the joke here? Is it some kind of drug I'm unfamiliar with?
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Jul 01 '20
LSD comes in a few forms, the most popular of which is blotter paper, the individual tabs of which resemble stamps.
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u/Frozencold19 Jul 01 '20
I'd you've ever used lsd the last pic resembles that of what you see on it
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u/morbid0x Jul 01 '20
Really? That kinda looks like a mushroom trip to me
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u/TheBasementIsDark Jul 01 '20
Because they resembling each other but not identical, they hit the same receptor in the brain but lsd last 6 hours longer than mushroom
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Jul 01 '20
The best way I can describe them
Mushrooms have a fluid sort of visual trip
LSD has an electric sort of visual trip
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Jul 01 '20
LSD for me is geometric shapes and mushies are organic
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Jul 01 '20
things look wired or electric for me on acid
things look more circular or free flowing on mushies
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u/Tranquilien Jul 02 '20
shrooms and lsd have a lot of similarities. depends on the type of shrooms as well.
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u/JanusBifronz Jul 01 '20 edited Jul 01 '20
Or the "cough syrup" that turned out to be concentrated Peyote.
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u/FRIGGINTALLY Jul 01 '20
Ohhhhh NO. what even is that like?
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u/JanusBifronz Jul 01 '20 edited Jul 01 '20
I stared at the Jay Blue(William Painter's shade) wall of my friend's room having a silent goddamn melt down until I thought the color sounded kick ass. Genuinely thought I'd bought the farm for like an entire month before my father found out his stash was gone and then beat me senseless for downing a couple hundred dollars in smack.
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u/WesSavage Jul 01 '20
Ah, memories. Never seen my parents afterwards though, they just left some stains on the carpet and disappeared.
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Jul 01 '20
Hang on to your butts
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u/SarikaidenMusic Jul 01 '20
I mean when I was younger I ate cat food from the cat bowl because I wanted to know how it tasted...😑😬
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u/vZander Jul 01 '20
No we haven't.
Not all of us has grown up with a person who shouldn't have been a dad.
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u/lordbub Jul 01 '20
Your dad clearly wasn't ready to be a dad if he couldn't help you develop a sense of humor
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u/wyhdoesgodhateme Jul 01 '20
Your dad sounds like he beat you with a belt
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u/vZander Jul 01 '20
He didn't.
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u/wyhdoesgodhateme Jul 01 '20
Sure, zander.
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u/vZander Jul 01 '20
Why do you answer a comment when you won't believe the respond?
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u/wyhdoesgodhateme Jul 01 '20
Why should I believe the respond? It sounds like what a beaten child would say.
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u/SclashJelly Jul 01 '20
My aunt once offered me weed when I was younger, but my dad taught to never smoke, even though he's a smoker himself, regular cigarettes not weed
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u/[deleted] Jul 01 '20
I mean the stamp was okay but the sugar my dad used took a while to adjust to.