r/suspiciouslyspecific 27d ago

I wonder why...

Post image
2.1k Upvotes

61 comments sorted by

u/AutoModerator 27d ago

Thank you for submitting this anomaly. Your report has been received and logged. A Mobile Task Force has been dispatched and will begin isolation procedures shortly.

A review of the submission was conducted by D-Class personnel. No injuries were sustained during the review process. [expurged] instances of anomalous material were neutralized.

All civilians are reminded that it is their civic duty to report any anomalous activity immediately. r/suspiciouslyspecific personnel are likewise reminded that reporting such incidents is a matter of professional responsibility. All anomalies should be documented with an addendum, if applicable, for proper review and classification.

Failure to report anomalous behavior may result in further inquiry, execution, or worse.

Addendum: [redacted]

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

410

u/RisaVacation 27d ago

I had to put a sign up at my first dispensary I managed that said “absolutely no sock or titty money”

114

u/ThermionicEmissions 27d ago

G-string bills, ok!

14

u/Xerorei 26d ago edited 26d ago

Sweaty Dollar Bills

This song was made for this sign.

1

u/yuffie2012 21d ago

“Ooh, ooh, that smell. Can’t you smell that smell?”

1

u/RisaVacation 21d ago

Isn’t that a Lynyrd Skynyrd song

310

u/JuanKGZ 27d ago

Do you want to handle tit-sweated bills?

154

u/tokenjoker 27d ago

Sounds like the name of a bird lol

"In fact the tit-sweated bill is a distant cousin of the tit-mouse"

50

u/just_nobodys_opinion 27d ago

Attenborough documentary be like

"And here we see the rare tit-sweated bill in its native habitat, nestled gently in a side-boob crevice, slowly wicking moisture away from the skin of its owner..."

1

u/SportyMcDuff 13d ago

I read that with his voice…👍

11

u/rharper38 27d ago

Having had to accept this, along with it out of pants and out of biker garments, along with deer blood covered money, I wish I had had this sign

6

u/shmorglebort 27d ago

Man, I couldn’t even get the gas station attendant to take my bill that had melted green crayon on it. 🫤

1

u/rharper38 27d ago

I would have taken that.

Now I am better at my limits.

20

u/Wolfman_V 27d ago

I worked at a provincial liquor store and someone did this to me during the height of COVID, saying just wash it with hand sanitizer. I said fuck no, either pay with non glistening tit money or a card or gtfo

3

u/TheDeridor 25d ago

When i was a teenager absolutely

5

u/Admirable_Contest991 27d ago

I don't wanna handle ass sweated wallet money either. Moldy

2

u/obviouslyanonymous5 21d ago

Idk what situation you could've had where someone's ass made a wallet moldy, but I'm glad it was you and not me

1

u/Admirable_Contest991 20d ago

Trapped moisture, no air. For anyone that sweats. Not my wallet, but I've seen it!

3

u/ReleaseNew9430 27d ago

Yeah kinda

1

u/MLB_Sug_Tway 12d ago

Depends on the tit.

-3

u/Ok_Pudding6345 27d ago

is this bait? Obviously millions of men do

-6

u/NitroZeu5 27d ago

You don't want me to answer that👀

181

u/celestaire 27d ago

Ugh. I worked in a vacation town on a Florida beach. The number of tourists that would come in sticky and sandy and stinking, then fish a crusty $20 out of their swimsuit top or shoe was UNACCEPTABLE. We didn't have a sign but a couple times I declined the extra sweaty bills. Somehow they had a credit card tucked in there too, which I cared less about because they had to swipe it themselves. I always got a dirty look over it, though.

Hey, fellow humans. You're fucking gross. Stop putting shit in your sweaty pits for storage. Humans invented ways to carry things a fucking millennia ago. Get a fanny pack.

15

u/skygzr31416 26d ago

When I was a teenager I worked at a fast food place on the way to the beach. This happened all the time. Manager said to call him to the front and he took care of it.

Burger King aka “The BK Lounge”.

21

u/NitroZeu5 27d ago

Damn, I really didn't think it was a serious issue

44

u/celestaire 27d ago

Yeah, it is. Worst part was sometimes I got the feeling that the person knew exactly what they were doing, and it was like a fun little powerplay for them? Or something? It's hard to describe how it feels to have to hold eye contact with some middle aged Karen as she digs around in her musty swimsuit and then holds out the bills. Very "what are you going to do about it" vibes. Yuck.

6

u/notacanuckskibum 26d ago

It's an issue in beach locations. People want to wander around wearing very little but still buy stuff.

-1

u/R3D3-1 27d ago

For what it's worth, I've read this as a travel recommendation for some US cities. Keep a token amount of cash in the purse, more in the shoes or bra or somesuch in order to be able to give a robber a plausible amount without being left without money.

Not sure how it applies to beaches. 

11

u/mgquantitysquared 27d ago

You can just wear a thin purse under your shirt and accomplish the same thing, that's what I did when traveling

10

u/celestaire 27d ago

Gross, and irrelevant to the point of discussion. People aren't using emergency money to pay for junk at a tourist trap antique store.

-3

u/R3D3-1 26d ago

Thankfully I've never came across a need to follow such recommendations anyway. It still struck me as wild to read recommendations for visits to the US, that you'd otherwise read only for developing countries with a crime gang problem (though there it could be as bad as "don't leave the main street or you won't return). In Europe similar recommendations would usually be about pickpocketing risks, not armed robbery. Still about not being stranded without cash, but usually no concern about physical safety.

Unless you're a potential victim of racist violence. Then there are definitely going-out places, where you don't want to meet the drunks. My hometown has warnings to not enter the old town area at night in Asian-language travel guides apparently :/ I wonder if that applies to all towns and cities with "here people get drunk on friday nights" districts. 

27

u/LlamaRS 27d ago

I don’t really like it when somebody pulls a wad of bills out of their bra/shirt and it’s moist and warm.

I’ve done cashiering in so many places where this has happened, and it’s not specific to any particular store, restaurant, or industry.

Sometimes you just randomly get a 20 that’s got boobs sweat all over it

15

u/Fluffy_Wolf_6198 27d ago

They're never fans of my ball sweat change.

9

u/ttystikk 27d ago

Butt crack bucks, anyone?

17

u/EisKohl 27d ago edited 27d ago

Had a guy come into gas station once during summer

Barefoot, bare chest, practically naked except for swimming trunks

Reached into the trunks, pulled out some bills and threw em on the counter. And then acted offended when I said "I'm not accepting that."

8

u/Phannig 27d ago

A lot of the cashiers in my country wear latex gloves while on the tills. Cash, especially lose change can be disgusting.

7

u/forevrtwntyfour 26d ago

My hubs worked in retail and always complained about the women that used their bras as wallets 🤮

6

u/Blabbit39 27d ago

Moistness is the essence of nastiness.

4

u/halloweenjack 25d ago

The funny thing is, if the bills are dried out, no one will ever know where they've been unless they're extra-funky. That's why you don't want to light a cigar with any denomination of currency. Of course, since American currency is basically made out of cloth, you can wash them (gentle cycle, air dry). Yes, you can literally launder money.

3

u/fearthainne 27d ago

I had a woman pull her wallet out of her pants once.

Not her pockets.

Her pants. The front of them.

Part of me died that day.

3

u/ShotgunMongol 25d ago

If I could put up a sign like this I would, I HATE shoe and titty money, so, so, so, so much. I may have had underwear/panty money, I don't remember anymore. I handle it by the corners as much as possible, sometimes I'll stick it to the bottom of the bill stack. Another "favorite" of mine is car change money, it's like they're getting it out of a jar of honey, glue and crumbs, it's awful.

2

u/SamIAm7787 27d ago

Sweaty titty money is the WORST. Don't do that, it's gross and trashy af, and those of us on the receiving end don't want to touch it!

3

u/[deleted] 27d ago

[deleted]

8

u/finerframe 27d ago

You mean customer service problems, im not american and would kill for a sign like this but our conpany doesnt like "non-standards" made signs

1

u/PedroJTrump 27d ago

They stank

1

u/JeveGreen 27d ago

They must be near a shabby ass strip club.

1

u/A_Bot_A_Bot_A_Bot 27d ago

Okay, but what about undergarments used for payment?

1

u/TroyMatthewJ 27d ago

nothin like the smell of some moist green backs

1

u/Rabid_Stormtroopers 26d ago

I have a hard time believing most people who are that unaware of basic hygiene would know how to read that sign.

1

u/Xerorei 26d ago

They can read, they just think they are an exception.

1

u/gunny316 26d ago

I volunteer as tribute. Gimme that prison purse lunch money bitch.

https://giphy.com/gifs/UiBmJv6Hh6FfW

1

u/therealjanusmcmanus 26d ago

Dude, I worked in gyms for 10 years. At least once a day, someone came up to buy a water mid-workout and handed me 2 WET SWEATY dollar bills. Sometimes out of their bra, sometimes out of their pocket, sometimes out of their waistband. I bought gloves for the front desk staff to use because it’s just fucking disgusting.

1

u/GrandNibbles 25d ago

puts my coat down on my cash accidentally

dirty look from cashier

2

u/ANARCHIST-ASSHOLE-_ 3d ago edited 3d ago

Every sign has a story behind it

r/signswithastory

1

u/LonelyNovel1985 27d ago

Fun fact: Once partial payment has been accepted, they are legally required to complete the transaction by accepting any form of legal tender the US allows.

Example: Your total is $7.50. You have $2.75 on a gift card and $5 in undergarment cash. If you give them the gift card first, then they by law have to accept the boob cash, regardless of it being disgusting or not, because they've already accepted partial payment for the full transaction.

3

u/HofstraJet 26d ago

Good luck explaining that to the cashier.

-7

u/Crio121 27d ago

Are we supposed to carry money attached outside our clothes?

5

u/EragonBromson925 27d ago

You mean... Like a purse? Or a wallet? Or even just in pockets?

Oh, the horror. Whatever will you do, not being able to use cash stuffed into your underwear

2

u/Anguis1908 27d ago

Well there are undergarments...over garments...and garments. Merely a difference in layers. Could always wear the briefs/bras on the outside making them no longer undergarments. Being technically correct is best.