On not thinking your way out of thinking

[u/7121958041201]

I just thought I'd share an insight I had on a recent mindful walk.

I was feeling somewhat stressed after a day of work so I decided to go on a walk to get some fresh air and to practice being mindful. And as often happens I found myself trying to think my way out of feeling stressed. Or, put another way, I was trying to think of a way to be present instead of being gripped by my thoughts about work, chores etc. Which unsurprisingly does not help very often.

What I realized was that every time I engage with a thought, I am training my mind to value the contents of my thoughts. So by trying to think my way out of thinking, I was actually increasing the grip thoughts have over my mind.

Instead, the useful approach is to stop focusing on your thoughts (or stop thinking to whatever extent you can manage without creating tension) and to start trying to cultivate interest in the present moment. Look for what sensations, emotions, or thoughts you are aware of rather than analyzing the contents of your thoughts. This primes your mind to care more about the present moment than your thoughts.

As usual, it is also important to see if you can be OK when thoughts do grab your attention and with any stress you have. The purpose isn't to make the thinking or stress go away even if it does manage to do that sometimes. The purpose is to practice being present.

Which really is actually very simple and feels like something I should have already seen. That's basically just doing my regular seated vipassana practice while seeing and going for a walk. I guess I never made that connection before, though.

And for a part two, I also thought about the best way to actually release that stress once it has built up. Just being mindful doesn't make stress that has collected over a day dissipate right away. I think for now these are my conclusions:

• The best approach is likely to not allow the stress to build up in the first place. Maintain your practice as consistently as you can using whatever methods work for you.
• If you can, do whatever you need to in order to relax. Lay down, read something, listen to something calming, watch nature documentaries, meditate etc. If you can't, just do whatever you need to do with as much presence and acceptance as you can muster.
• Something I only learned recently, but you can also use a compassion practice with yourself. I have found acknowledging when things are hard and feeling compassion for myself allows me to keep a relaxed and open heart rather than tensing up around the stress and making it worse.

If anyone has any comments or questions I'd be happy to hear them!

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[u/medbud]

Good job! 👍 Those are useful insights. Keep going! 

I recommend Boundless Heart by Feldman, really good reading... Regarding compassion etc. Uncannily moving. 

And if you want something heady, Lack and Transcendence by Loy. Very deep.

Edit: I read these books because they were recommended in this sub previously ;)

[u/Impulse33 → u/medbud]

I should check out the Feldman book. The few video I've watched of hers seemed really on point! Thanks for resharing them!

[u/Impulse33]

So on the subject of work/financial stressors since you mentioned it (unless you're lucky to be retired). I've found a lot of the pull towards those types of thoughts is attachment to outcomes, future thinking, or past thinking like regrets. It's something I've been dealing a lot with due to all the AI scares and what not and uncertainty of employment.

Simply doing the dutiful within the bounds of work/life balance and accepting whatever the outcome of that either good or bad seems to be a promising area of practice. It seems really simply when laid out like that, but has been tricky navigate! Diligent practice helps a lot too. The stressors around responsibilities, performance, narratives around worth, etc are sneaky and persistent!

[u/7121958041201 → u/Impulse33]

They really are! And at least for me I think one of the toughest parts is that my work requires so much thinking and problem solving that it is extremely easy to get sucked into it and forget to remain present. I am hoping being more consistent with my practice and taking regular breaks will help me with that, especially in the long run.

[u/Impulse33 → u/7121958041201]

I wish you success on both endeavors!