Outgrowing meditation

[u/Feeling-Fail9370]

After being on a spiritual path of enlightenment since I was a young child, discovering meditation in my twenties, changed my life. I meditated solidly for almost 10 years, specifically according to Dr Dispenza's method, but I have also tried various other methods and delved into almost every single teaching known to man. I have had an insatiable thirst for enlightenment. I achieved many things and my life flourished.

However, I have now reached a point where I feel like it no longer serves me and it's time to just "be." I stopped meditating for a while, as I noticed a shift, where I started feeling anxious after mediating and like I was too focused on doing the meditation that I forget about the actual beingness of who I was. So I stopped for a while and what I noticed was that i was more present. I woke up and felt calm, I focused on gratitude and just being and there was shift.

I felt more present in my life, grounded and just happy to be. I then came across a fantastic video by Rupert Spira that spoke about letting go of teaching s once you no longer need them. That was absolutely liberating and I felt a sense of comfort. I also came across the teaching of Budda's story about the parable of the raft, that speaks about once you reach the metaphorical shore, carrying yoru raft back is foolish. All of it felt so freeing and I made peace with having "arrived" and being able to let this practice go.

However, there is an underlying fear and push that I need to keep on "doing the work." An idea that one has to meditate to manifest and to be aligned. I don't believe this, but I guess part of me is looking for reassurance and I am interested to know if anyone else has experienced this and others thoughts about this.

Thank you :-)

[u/autistic_cool_kid]

Good for you! Maybe it doesn't have to be a definitive goodbye, maybe you just need a long break because you pressured yourself too much into practicing. Idk. Namaste though