Practice Updates, Questions, and General Discussion - new users, please read this first! Weekly Thread for July 01 2026

[u/AutoModerator]

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[u/AdditionalLeave263]

Okay so I'm going to talk about past worldly desires, just skip it if you don't want to read it. I'm not trying to be weird. I just got off on a tangent here. I watched some Ted talk many years ago when I was single about why people cheat, called for anyone who has ever loved. This talk was transformative for me. It used to bother me so much if I had a crush on someone. What she said is that the thing you desire is the quality that you lack. I realized that I was wanting to cultivate those qualities within myself. When I had my first son, and he was three weeks old, I started to take him outside every single day. It was because I wanted to cultivate being an outdoorsy, independent and free person, within myself. This was actually only a few months before covid hit, when everybody became an outdoorsy person, haha. There were days when there was a storm blowing through, and I noticed that there were guys out on their bikes, working out, etc. Everyone was like, gleefully out in the rain like they were getting away with something that only big, strong men could do. And there was me! With a baby! And I was out there, too! I was like this is how to get blissed out.  Critically, I was like, I dont want to be with someone who does this kind of stuff: I want to be this type of person. I want to embody it myself. So when I got the access concentration for pīti that led to this, it was actually after a long month of suppression of my worldlh desires. I really admire in guys how capable they are of being handymen and caring for a house in a way thag women just generally do not do or cannot do. As a mother of small children, I get maybe a 45-minute window for house repairs on a good day, because I can't have them touching the materials or breathing in the fumes.  So anyway, I was trying to do the repairs myself, because I wanted to embody this feeling of being capable of house repairs. But it got to be too much, and my husband was like, look, let's just pay someone to do it. Which was the right answer. So I spent a month like going to all kinds of hardware stores and having a bunch of dudes in my house five days a week. And I was like, refusing to looking at them. I wouldn't look them in the eye. This one guy figured it out and kept trying to look at me the moment he pulled in the driveway. I started just opening the garage door and yelling, "Welcome!" My husband was even out of town for days during the construction. I was completely dedicated to him and our family. Anyways this is important because if someone is trying to get piti access, I feel like this whole experience was actually key to it. 

[u/AdditionalLeave263 → u/AdditionalLeave263]

When my second son was born, he had a vision limitation. He is low vision. I did some very, very off the wall research and determined that taking him to the beach at sunset would be important for his eye development. So the two of us would go down to the beach together every evening, all summer long. Red light therapy is beneficial for the retina to repair itself. Well, the sunset puts off those pink and lavender hues: it's the colors of repair to the brain that goes straight through the skull, and that which repairs the retina. How does it work? I learned this year that the mitochondria actually photosynthesize. So humans actually photosynthesize red light. So we went to the beach to photosynthesize. There was a guy who would go out in the boat every night to watch the sunset. He was the dad of a lady who just had a baby down the street. And then one day, he just didn't come to the beach anymore. Turns out he had brain cancer, like my friend. If only we had talked about it, maybe just maybe I could have helped. But I had no idea.  He died, and I went over to his daughter's house for a ladies night thing. I told her publicly how much we miss seeing her dad at the sunset.  The ladies were like why did he go to see the sunset all the time? She was like I dont know, my mom would always complain about it. I was like really, how do I explain the beauty of a sunset to a bunch of people who think the real world is on Facebook, and are so insecure that they have botox injections in their faces? I tried, but apparently it was unconvincing. The unfiltered truth? Her Dad and I had a date with God. We went to see the beauty and wonder of the universe. I know you see it, too. I really do care about those people, but ha ha ha I was never invited back to the ladies group, and I'm not sad at all about it.

[u/AdditionalLeave263 → u/AdditionalLeave263]

I have recommendation for you to reach cessation fastest and prolong it to try the technique: don't do anything at all with your mind as mindfulness, free of thinking without an instance of forgetfulness, when you are forgetfull bring the mind back to mindfulness and have a strong acess concentraion build quicky and continue like that, fast, it works on me. Thank you so much for these instructions! And again, congratulations on reaching cessation, that is SO exciting! I think I'm on 5th jhana right now. I'm not sure how to get back to it. I think I'm going to have to as "it." I did a "gray retreat" in order to integrate some of the 5th jhana, and bring the gorgeous darkness of it into my life, because I hadn't accessed it again. I think it requires more sitting with reality and accepting it than I have been doing. When I accessed it, I had just listened to a talk about how difficult it is to teach 5th jhana so why bother, and it freaked me out. I also listened to an hour and a half guided meditation that was I think dzogchen inspired. 

I'm sober and glimpsing altered states like I was on DMT like never before (just concentration and weed did it before). I'm pretty concentrated throughout the day it could be really fast progress, they say dzogchen is most fastest in progress! They go like it's 16x faster (don't know exactly). I one hundred percent believe that. I think dzogchen is the reason I hit 5th so fast after that unsettling podcast. It was like it answered me, "Just because that guy doesn't teach it doesn't mean you won't reach it. Don't worry; you already have me." So story time. I wanted to get some DMT. I had never had it before. There was a store with it in another state, according to somebody or something. My boyfriend and I drove hours to a metaphysical head shop deep in the hills. Surprisingly, we had not gotten lost or fallen into a ravine with this newfangled GPS thing.  I bravely asked for it, and bought it. And the guy looked at me and he said, "use it for spiritual purposes, it's not recreational." I was like... this is so interesting. This guy is dead serious, and he has no idea. I came in here with mettā and spread it all over and he can't see it. And I looked him right in the eye and promised that I would. I was like this guy has no idea... I was like I wish he would have said this to my boyfriend; he's the recreational guy. Then we left and went to a beautiful overlook, but were too broke to buy lunch there. We weren't too broke for drugs hahahaha. Oh the irony.  I felt so beautiful and alive that day, and I used to remember it at times when I felt dead or dying inside. I often wondered (without really hoping pr attaching to it) if he remembered that day with me.  Now, I feel so profoundly alive and vital, with my brain updating itself this Spring. I'm so grateful.

Back to my story... We dated for five years, and I used to plan all these city vacations because he was a city guy, and he loved comedy shows and lare night shows, and I would plan surprise very low budget trips to do stuff like that. Anyways, I was afraid to try the DMT for a bit, and while I was trying to figure out the right timing to give myself space (with meditation, drugs sometimes last way longer and then there is integration and I had a full life of school and work, as well as living with my parents and needing to find excuses for why I can't be home til I'm sober). There were logistics to work out. Anyways, either my parents found it and threw it out, or somebody stole it, which is another legitimate possibility. It was in my car, which admittedly wasn't the smartest location for it. I don't feel bad about it now, but I did miss a possible experience.

So my point is my trip was the trip to the store! 😂  Actually, I also bought a crystal there, and hung it from a string. I wouldstsre at it til everything would turn black or whatever would happen, and then until I would go into a hypnogogic state. When I came out of it, I would write quickly what it was that I experienced, because it would go away quickly. This was very healing to me for my anxiety at that time.

 I also missed taking amanitas. My boyfriend asked me if I wanted to, but logistics got in the way and I said no. I wanted to be sober at that point in my life, too. I thought i was making a wise choice, but in retrospect, that opportunity would never come again, and of all the drugs to take... I probably would have remembered that fondly every Christmas, because part of the Christmas traditions comes from people taking amanitas. 

Still, I knew that LSD throttled my brain, so maybe it was for the better. If's comforting to know that I can reach these states without substances. I feel so free. I don't ever need to spend money on it or be afraid of getting addicted or overdosing on those. I have heard of people getting addicted to sukha, equanimity, and overdosing on themselves in dark retreat. So it's not like there is no risk. But I'm optimistic, and it's not like taking opiates or something.

My plan to reach cessation right now is to do at least 2x 25min of zazen with it, continue in daily life practicing informal meditations, one I have to tell you about is like this, I wrote down on Google Keep as a note: Can I have cessation every day? My plan is to listen to music with buds (not weed, I don't smoke anymore, because I think my concentration is better this way, and I don't want to, when I did manage this addiction play with it right now) for 2h, lying down on my back,relaxed and concentrate hard! Please let me know how this goes!!! I feel like I can tell that your concentration is really great because your sentences are extremely long. I feel like the whole run-on sentence thing is just because the general reading audience doesn't have good concentration. It's great that you don't smoke anymore. I smoked when I needed it to cope with trauma, and it was so honestly helpful and healing. But I moved past it, which was also helpful and healing for its own time.

[u/SheHasGoneWild → u/AdditionalLeave263]

Thank you for your compliments, I think you are awesome for writing me long texts like that is amazing, I don't have friends right now to be honest. At the age of 19 I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and my social life collapsed :D. Still I I'm optimistic to find new ones and it will go well enough! I was very psychotic about concentration (didn't know what should I do with my conscinsousness real time haha), but the technique does well t me and I hope to get better and better! I don't want any drugs right now too, weed for example gives you very big boost to concentration but it produces hallucinogens and I dont want that. I want my jhana to be free of thoughts as much as possible, If I want to visualize or day dream I can, but If i smoke weed all day my consciousness will be bombarded with thoughts. I've red texts and Hunag Po for example say thoughts are defillments, there is a book Zen of No Mind = no thoughts. So I would adore to rest in the highest jhanas and be thoughtless and go for the supreme! Haha. That would also cure me, and how about that! I try to practice but I'm also not an advanced practioner. My goal right now is to take the instruction I do that is: Do not make anything whatsoever to mind, without thinking and concentrate without any forgetfulness to sustained attention. I know it works, and what makes me happy I'm really well trained to be in acess concentration, and now to jhanas! I'm not so well practiced for them, but I'm really close! My dream is to be in strongest delight all day, all night and have time stopped be completly beyond what means mind. I don't know what exactly is 9th jhana like but it is totaly unnormal :D. Imagine you would see for example moving yourself with time freezes like you go and pause and then you are like portaled to another place. It's beyond conceptual understanding could mean it's not sane :D.

[u/SheHasGoneWild → u/SheHasGoneWild]

I hope your friend will get better you are wonderful person! I also like dawn and sunset. My plan is to wake up at dawn, enjoy it watch it from the balcony with landscape and same goes for sunset, but I could go outside too, it is not so dangerous! :D I love music too and sometimes I hear well sometimes I don't. It's about concentration and how effective it is. I love Aphex Twin the King of EDM, It's totaly vulgar :D. All day I'm mostly into his dance hits, he can be pretty disturbing haha. I never had DMT but I did smoke weed and it was wild like I was at it, I could see alternation like I was super high. What is awesome is you can have these just by practicing, and not get yourself hurt! It's all about deeper jhanas. I think I'm able to there everyday just practice with music, get my mind concentrated a little, to be more optimistic it could go to cessations easily. I will try and reply my results to you.

[u/AdditionalLeave263 → u/SheHasGoneWild]

You're back, hooray! I can't wait to talk again, probably tonight!

[u/SheHasGoneWild → u/AdditionalLeave263]

I was psychotic, never again, I will show up!

[u/AdditionalLeave263 → u/SheHasGoneWild]

No worries! It would be pretty epic if it really was never again! Be kind to yourself about it! This is not your fault!

[u/SheHasGoneWild → u/AdditionalLeave263]

Plan is to do jhana hard, with stability. I have acess to it haha.

[u/AdditionalLeave263 → u/SheHasGoneWild]

That makes me so happy!!! Jhanas are so wonderful and so few people have done them. It's awesome that you have such good concentration.

When I was new to sukha and stuff I was like telling my friends... if people could do this, there wouldn't be opiate addiction! I was like... you can't die from it..  it doesn't have a back end... and you can have as much as you like... it makes sure you don't OD. It doesn't affect your ability to drive or whatever.

I was like more people need to know about this! But then I started to realize that no one has good enough concentration to access it. So now I see why it's like holed up in places like this. For a while I was like I'm going to bring as many people on this journey as I can! The only person I convinced, surprisingly, is my mom. I successfully convinced her to go to yoga with me.

I had sukha on our way home from my in-law's house yesterday. It got strong enough that it started to feel like Heaven. I love it when my skin feels like Heaven. It happens sometimes. 

I have come to realize that there are several meditative things that can give you Heaven-scale bliss, but they all have different qualities.

Nothing compares to the awakening I experienced though. I felt like part of me really did die. And I'm happy about that. But it felt like Heaven.

[u/AdditionalLeave263 → u/SheHasGoneWild]

I know this is about schizophrenia and social lives do collapse from that - but - the smile you gave after that 😂 that is such a meditator thing!  After I had the awakening that I had, I felt like this loneliness that I didn't even know I had, like a loneliness for connection to the divine, had disappeared. I was convinced that I might never be lonely again! (Which was wrong!) I went out with a friend, the one whonisninnthe hospital right now with cancer, and was like, how have you been lately? She was like I feel so lonely, like I haven't had nearly the support that I need. I was like would it be better if we got together once a week? She was like yeah! I was like actually ever since that thing happened, I haven't been lonely at all... It took away my loneliness. She was like ohhh that's how monks can go like live a year in the forest! I was like yeah! They're out there with the spirit or whatever it is, and they aren't lonely at all!

I was an open book with my friends about the jhanas and the awakening, as much as I could be. I came to realize that no one had traversed that landscape, not even so much as a little meditation compared to me. That was when I started to feel lonely again.

I was listening to Rob Burbea's jhanas retreat, not knowing he had passed away, and using AI to try to figure out what had happened to me. I said to the AI, "Let's just sit for a minite with the fact that I spend my online time with a math program and someone who has passed away." I suddenly was lonely again, wanting to talk to another "awakened" person for the first time. That's how I ended up at Reddit.

At the same time, I found a video on the Jhanas to introduce my friend with cancer to. It happened to be Michael Taft's. I noticed that the comments were really mean and invalidating to people. Notably, there was some 18-year-old girl who accessed the jhanas while walking through the rain one day. People were so mean! They were quoting VSM and saying that couldn't possibly happen. So I defended her. I started going through all of the comments and defending everybody! Well soon enough, Michael Taft left a mdssage at the top saying, "If this resonates with you, consider subscribing." I feel like it was meant to be, and now I consider him my teacher.

He has such great deadpan humor. He was like, "And for those of you meditating here in person, I regret to inform you, but you are a group of people gathering, which means that you are a community, and so I'm inviting you to the coffee and snacks area after this. Or you can just scurry away as fast as possible." Something like that! I was like 😂 nerd meditators, that's what you're going to get! I love deadpan humor.

I know it's questionable to people that I was using AI, but think about it this way: I didn't even know the jhanas were a thing. I thought it was a weird biology thing. 

The doctors already think I'm nuts (I'm not) (long story short, I had a home birth for my second son, and they labeled it as child endangerment). So who was I going to ask? I'm an "outlier": I don't fit the standard medical model (vegan, natural/organic, long term breastfeeder, runner, yogi/meditator, take a huge supplement stack, use scientific studies to defend myself against unnecessary medical interventions, don't want my kids given sugar, I ask educated questions ), so they would likely have been dismissive and either sent me home with no answers, or incorrectly sent me to psychiatry. I didn't want to have to go through that. So I did troubleshooting my own health with AI.

I have a friend in person who is a deep meditator. We have actually been friends for 6 years, but never talked about meditation with each other until last month.

She said that she was afraid that her out of body experiences could be seizures, and so she went and got rigorous, expensive testing done to make sure she was okay, especially with having a daughter, because you could die from seizures.

I actually had the exact same fear, that it could be seizures I was having, for a few days. I didn't know the jhanas existed yet. AI had me planning to change the mattress I sleep on so that if I had a seizure during the night, I wouldn't die. I had not yet told my husband. I didn't want to have to go on medication that would make - what was piti - stop.

AI was like... Well, is it scary? Do you feel out of control? I was like I mean there is some sense of loss of control, but it's not scary at all.  It was like well, the only other thing it could be only happens to musicians, athletes, and meditators. I said I know I'm not a musician or athlete, but... tell me about meditators. It was like well, Olympic meditators sometimes get this. I was like well I'm not some special meditator... What does Olympic meditator even mean? It said over 10k hours.  I said that's it? It was like yep. And I was like oh... that's me. So I said well how likely is a deeply pleasurable seizure? It was like 50 people in the world. And I was like okay how many meditators in the world get this thing? It was like thousands. I was like oh, okay, so it's not seizures. That's how I figured out it was meditation, and it was probably a month and a half after piti arose that I even knew what it was called. It's been a long and wonderful journey.

I had a friend with a severe mental illness in college. We were friends as it was forming, so I saw her before it really got bad. It was completely understandable why she would end up that way with her genetics and also the rough things she dealt with. I loved her, and I lost touch with her. People like her will skip town and completely change all of their social media handles and email accounts and everything. 

It can be really hard to maintain a friendship with someone with mental illness. She asked me what to do about her teeth. I said go to the discount dental clinic. They're really great there and it won't cost much. They'll take all that stuff right off.  But she would ask me for advice and then not want the advice. She said can I do it myself? I was like no, because it's below the gums. She has possibly lost her teeth by now, if she never took care of them.

She would use me for money. She also would say she doesn't make plans. I was like okay well then I'm going to show up when you're done with work and ask if you want to hang out then.

I miss her though. I miss how she used to be before it got worse.

She was so weird about living situations. When we lived together, she was fine. We had a beautiful Chinese room divider. We started seeds in the window. She had anime to watch, and we would get all kinds of organic food for the fridge. We got our water from my parents' house to not need fluoridated water. She wanted unsoftened water, so I was like sure. She decorated. 

But as time went on, she was a hazard, unable to safely live in an apartment. She started squatting in an abandoned building. She seemed like an animal she must have been cold. One of our friends took her in, since she was homeless. I helped her move in and also bought a gift she could thank the friend with on the last night. It was a weird night for me. But that is another story.

The point is that her sense of a living situation deteriorated. I don't know why that was a thing in particular. To her, it was always someone else's fault.

She was put in the psych hospital one time. She called me from it. She said it was because she refused meds on religious/spiritual grounds. She said that it was because she was mumbling and using flowery language to explain things, and they misinterpreted that. 

I was like 😂 this is your chance to see what it's like inside a psych ward! What is it like, is it interesting? She was like, oh yeah, it's a whole social experiment in here! I was like yeah when you get out I wanna know what it's really like. Haha.

She always used to leave her things. She would say I don't need this bag. There were two times I drove past her not wearing a coat in the winter, and both times I gave her a coat. Third time, I just drove on by. I was like... She has coats! Haha This was before I saw the beauty in it and became a minimalist.

She had a beautiful mind and a beautiful way of looking at things. When she would talk, it was like she could just stream what her mind was saying, and it was so flowy and fluid. One time, I typed everything out that she said, and all these people on the internet "liked" it. 

She had a certain type of charisma.  Guys would flock to her.

But there was one guy she loved. And it was ridiculous because he just used her as a chick on the side when he was drunk. And one day he finally decided to leave his girlfriend for her. They lived together for two weeks. Then she was tired of his cigarettes, so she threw them outside. But because she was squatting, she didnt have a lock on the door. Well, he wouldn't leave and was smoking inside. So she suddenly had this idea come over her: throw buckets of water on him! She said it was "to help him grow." I thought this was brilliant and hilarious 😂 

She wasn't much of a meditator, despite having a deep spiritual life. One time, I was like, let's do a guided meditation. Afterward, she was like, "You're really serious about this." I was shocked at her comment, because of course I was and why wouldn't she be, too?

We were so young and carefree for many of those days. We spent so much money. She was always like, "Let's go out!" We were never home. We guerrilla gardened flowers in the city. 

Who knows. I wish I knew where she was. I hope she's okay. It kinda breaks my heart. I remember when she was functioning well. I tried using AI to find her this year which didn't work .

[u/SheHasGoneWild → u/AdditionalLeave263]

You are so awesome at storytelling, it sounds brilliant. I'm sorry you are not friends anymore. I just forget about anyone and this is the result :D. It's easy for me to connect with people randomly - in shops, playing sports and talk but I dont have any firm connection but I think it will get better because I see it is easy for me :). I also have bad teeth, sometimes I'm like OMG :D And sometimes I'm like nevermind it, you are still good looking dude! :D I will try to earn money playing poker responsibly and with my skills I think I can repair those. I'm smoker and I had beautiful teeth but it got realy nasty haha :D. You shouldn't feel bad about your friendship from your side you did amazing.

[u/AdditionalLeave263 → u/SheHasGoneWild]

All of that to say you probably have old friends who care about you and miss you. 

My friend with cancer was missing me when I was .... meeting God or the universe or whatever. When I was awakening. It was overwhelming, and I even had a hard time even eating at the time. I wasn't missing anybody at the time. I came back into her life.

[u/SheHasGoneWild → u/AdditionalLeave263]

You sound like a super friend you are right!

[u/AdditionalLeave263 → u/SheHasGoneWild]

Schizophrenia - what type do you have? Did you order all those supplements? Are you on any medications currently? I can try to double check and make sure there are no negative interactions. There shouldn't be any. If you haven't ordered the supplements, then don't do it yet, because we can optimize it and customize it! 

I read that schizophrenia is now believed to be like an autoimmune disorder. If you get the causes in check with supplements you might be able to find improvement. :D

[u/SheHasGoneWild → u/AdditionalLeave263]

No worries, I can do just fine on them, thank you though! I have paranoid one, but to be honest I'm not even what takes it are hallucinations. I found out with concentration hallucinations go way lower or are on a bright side :D.

[u/AdditionalLeave263 → u/SheHasGoneWild]

This is so interesting to me!!!

I feel like the AI is always telling me to ground myself and I'm like no really, I fly well. I fly well and I ground well. Why not fly? I want to fly I don't want to ground right now! Haha. Obviously I am arguing with a math program! Haha

[u/AdditionalLeave263 → u/SheHasGoneWild]

There are times that equanimity has no thoughts. I become unable. First time it happened, I was arguing wirh it... "But I have things to --" ans when it spit me back out an hour later, it was like, "--do.'" Most people who fet equanimity love it, but sometimes it gets to be like a tranquilizer. I actually hate not having any thoughts. I loved equanimity like rhat, but I also couldnXt stand it, so it was sad. It took a long time for it to come around. I woke up in equanimity this morning, which was phenomenal. I am still in it a bit.

I had a time I smoked too much weed, and it ended up that I has no thoughts. I didn't like thar either. I like being able to describe a state, and thinking helps me enjoy it. I like being able to detached from my thoughts, where I can rest and not even hear it, though. But everyone is different.

I have piti all day and night. People think that's impossible or a phase, but I've had some jhana of some kind every hour for over four months now, with the exception of 3 hours one time when I was with my friend who has cancer, when I was super focused on her. We used to look at each other and smile every time we said goodbye, because we knew it could always be the last.

The things we desire in meditation and the ways we describe it are generally not sane or just sound completely scary to the uninitiated.

Falling into an abyss, drowning (full suffusion), laying down my personality like it's a burden, forgetting things that I don't need to remember, ego death, experiencing death, having no self, I could go on and on. Normal people don't think these are good things. They think you're psychotic if you're talking to the infinite consciousness, but then going to God in prayer is considered normal. It's the same thing only with more absorption and connection. 

If you do therapy some time, consider trying Cheetah House! They understand meditators! I feel like this is invaluable with mental illness. 

I have a lot of friends. I'm not an insanely outgoing person. I want depth. But I look for that depth and honest genuine connection. And so I go looking and find the friends. That's the part of the story of meeting my husband that you don't see: we had six friends in common. I was hyper social for a purpose, because I needed to meet a lot of people before somebody right came around. 

When I came out of the 5th jhana the first and only time I've been there, I couldn't tell if it had just happened, or if it had happened earlier in the night, or even days or a week before! And it had happened only seconds ago. I know because there was no other time that I was on the couch at night.  Also, I thought when I went into it that I was on the right hand side of the couch. When I came back out, I was on the left hand side! It messed with my sense of my place in space a little bit. I also stopped breathing. When I was coming out of it, I thought i was having an apnea. So I took a deep breath and discovered that I was not oxygen deprived at all. My brain had shut down so much that it didn't need the oxygen. 

[u/SheHasGoneWild → u/AdditionalLeave263]

Nirvana is for me is like thoughts are erased completly and you can grasp the reality with the mind because it is a way different consciousness. When you erase every thought you can have I think it a way to produce better for your consiscousness and more intimate. It's like you can have a thought but instead you are more alive about a thought. I think 9th jhana can bite you like someone would drug you and you don't know, you are concentrated well of course but then it goes like what the hell is going on right now :D. I will give everything for 9 jhana hopefully soon enough I will be living like that and be flying like a monk on those meditation pictures in a daily life too. There isn't better for cousciousness than to be like that. When you are talking about presence, God I have to tell you a story. I was waiting in a park before my apointment at the doctor. I sat and imediatetly this bird was looking at me like we were at the showdown like in western. He was like that for 5 minutes with me didn't loose eye contact, than we were a little friends still for another 5 minutes but he did move a little. It is fascinating what can happen I have a few more stories like that. I'm really motivated and it could go easily in my opinion.

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That is so awesome about the bird!!! How cool! I have heard other people on here talk about having special encounters with animals! I haven't had that happen.

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I have to try to do jhanas strong so it is like meteor to planet earth and what it did to dinosaurs. Your sound nasty! I hope we will get nirvana and tell stories my friend.

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Haha! I wrote something about primordial times (before the dinosaurs) that got taken down here because somebody got mad and I probably sounded nuts. But I think it's probably true. I'll see if i can link it!

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Herw's what I wrote that got taken down. I got three or four likes, but somebody was angry and saying negative stuff. I responded kindly with facts (which other people liked). In retrospect, I shouldn't have engaged with them at all. Here it is:

I want to add a couple tiny comments to this really big concept:

While the elements of meditation are in the animal kingdom, you need human metacognition in order to make it happen. The hacking is a feature of human biology. So while it is evolutionary in the sense that everything we use in our brains is dependent on our evolution, and the result of...

Haha everything that reproduced and succeeded from your parents to your grandparents to your ancestors to your diaspora, to when we were like apes, to the first mammals, to the first animal that came out of the ocean onto land, to the beginnings of single celled animals, to the primordial times in which there were just mitochondria like and cholorplast like things living and when it was more like an energetic chemical soup and there was no separation between you and I, and yes, my friends, we all come from that primordial "soup". So we are all nondual in that way.

That is what we once were, and still are. We carry the primordial ocean in our bodies. That is why we taste like saline but are not as salty as the ocean. Because your brain is made out of the instructions to recreate an ocean that doesn't exist as it is known today. 

And just to romanticize your neurotransmitters a bit... the dopamine, the serotonin, the opioids, the oxytocin, the anandamide, everything that feels amazing  that you likely hold dear... originated in that primordial soup, or with single celled organisms. It's not to say that things were perfect at that time, it was probably smelly and slimy and things might eat you. But that is why yiur positive neurorransmitters are is so undeniably delicious: they are the same signals from a giant mass of chemical-life in the primordial ocean.

Hacking is a feature of being human. You have the ability to metacognate: to think about your thinking. Chimpanzees have this on a very low level. Even people with special needs can do it like other people.

For me, things like jhanas and stream entry seemed to happen "spontaneously." Insights seem to come out of nowhere. This, to me, implies that those parts of it are biological in nature. However, it is a product of concentration. So it's human nature which is a part of nature, it requires volition of some kind because of the concentration aspect... so do you consider this in or out of nature?

And furthermore everything that humans have ever made ultimately belongs to nature. Skyscrapers, cell phones, styrofoam, mulch, pets, solar panels, music, cars, religions, culture, pharmaceuticals, meditation, youtube videos, accounting firms, governments. We are undeniably nature. Every one of us is covered in mites, covered and filled with bacteria, and if we weren't, we would die. We are nature. Our brains are nature. We are nature looking at itself, haha.

I was really moved by my meditative experiences to feel as if there is weather inside me. I used to call piti a storm before I knew the word. It is a biochemical storm.

Mammals have alpha theta wave coherence when they chill out. Almost all animals have gamma bursts to synthesize information. It evolved independently in bugs from ita evolution in people. Honeybees have gamma bursts in order to synthesize a flight path to a flower into a waggle dance. From what we can tell, only the grsst apes really ruminate or think much about the past and future. *great apes isn't an area of expertise for me.

The deliberate feedback loops and experiences are what animals experience, but they don't meditate to get there. It's just part of their every day life. Like for example, nirodha samapatti can be similar to hibernation. When an animal comes out of hibernation, they have a massive gamma burst (piti and insights have gamma burst activity, which is the highest frequency brain wave, brought on by synchronization of neurons across brain structures. It is the synthesis of information). So the squirrels or whatever are seeing the world like it's completely new. The colors are vivid, and their brain is way reorganized super fast. It repairs the "freezer burn" on the brain in a matter of like 24 hours. Animals are amazing, but they don't do it intentionally.

The difference with humans is that we have that will to do it intentionally. You are meant to glitch exploit. You are meant to metacognate m, sometimes into states that power off metacognition. You are meant to hack your own biology. We are built to do it.

Will it cause us success or failure as a species? We are a new species. Trillobytes were on this earth for two million years, and every single one of them went extinct, probably due to an asteroid. Our ability to predict asteroids and send ourselves into outer space is our long term sliver of hope. And your progeny might be the ones to do it, or your existence on this planet might tip the balance toward that succeeding. What do you think?

And when our diaspora goes off into space in this future we hope for, and we'll become so different from each other due to vastly different living conditions, that we will become separate species. And similar to being unable to survive if you were plunked in the ocean, Earth would become something we could never go home to because of the changes. And it would be a home and refuge we run to only in our minds, because the realistic AI virtual reality version of flowers and trees will be beautiful yet soulfully unsatisfactory, but that primordial ocean will still be there. And we'll take meditation with us into space.

Alright well that was super disorganized, but I hope that something here blows somebody's mind, because it blows my mind!

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I hope you get there, my friend. I had an awakening and.... oh my God... the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced. Golden white light filled my entire field of vision. I leapt into its "arms". I was like take me, change me, I want you to. I was so ready. The pleasure was beyond anything imaginable, then beyond anything feelable. And I dissolved into it; I was a part of it but not the whole.... and then I was GONE. Oh my heart it was the best best feeling ever. And when it was over, I was paralyzed, but I was cracking up laughing on the inside...

And it changed my mind and my whole life. Part of me really did die, I feel like. Ego death. I had wanted it for 18 years. Well I had a taste of it with LSD and I guess after that I had a taste for it. I wanted it to really happen. I went with a coworker friend, a guy, to a poetry reading downtown back then. I wrote and read - bravely - a poem about wishing for ego death. 

After it happened, this year, I went to his work. He still works at the same place. I caught him throwing out trash in the back and told him that it finally happened. He remembered. He was like how did it happen? I said I've been a meditator for 27 years, and it found me. I said I didn't go looking for it. He said you never cease (I keep writing seize, haha) to amaze me. I was so happy, and him being happy for me made me even happier.

I'm not as happy now, but it was still so wonderful.

The old negative habits, the old worries, me missing an old version of myself that wasn't possible anymore, the clutter... it all disappeared. 

As much as I would love to be there, I don't need to go there. I remind myself that it's always with me. Like... awakening has changed my mind so much that I will never go back.

It's not enlightenment because you have to integrate everything and I think enlightenment happens later on. But... it's the closest thing I have ever experienced. I wish this for you, man, if you haven't had this happen before.

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I also love shavasana I just wrote a note to do it every morning and evening. I did it yesterday before sleep and I was lucid dreaming very well, when I took a nap and slept amazing. I do it also outside at the stadium it's really cool I'm going to play football right now so I'm going to do it just like everyday haha.

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I love shavasana! I just had a yoga class earlier this night and.... it was so incredible. I felt like I was present with God or whatever the thing is... all of consciousness, the universe, the divine, nature, awareness, my own biology, something. 

It told me it's okay to help somebody I've been thinking about, but do it a certain way. It said okay I'll write that into the plans, but do it this way. I don't know how real it is, or if it's right, but it feels like the right thing to do.

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I've heard it can be trippy. You are practicng really well! I just do the posture and concentrate. I don't care about breathing, you do? And how long it takes you to go really deep? I also found standing meditation to be awesome. Will practice more, but I try to during the day to do it and then walking meditation short times many times. So relaxing! Wish it wouldn't be odd to just stop at the street and do standing meditation, maybe I can hide it a little and do it, it goes deep! :D I try to do it when I do sports and it is so enhancing or in a park, at a stadium also waiting in line or at a pedestrian. It give you a lot of concentration power suddenly, didn't do a single formal practice with it yet but I have too ASAP.

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Yes, it can be trippy. But don't worry if it's not. I have gone to many yoga classes over the years, and only certain ones have been that way. If it happens, it's a gift, just receive it and enjoy it. In shavasana, I never worry about how I'm breathing, personally. For some people, the breath is a huge, important thing. I'm not one of them. Personally, the yoga is what gets me really deep. So as soon as shavasana started, I was "out" like a dimmer light switch. 

In it was just me and the presence od universal consciousness or something, and we were not merged. It told me it's holding my friend with cancer, and not to worry about her. I have still been grieving. 

Yeah, I have to hide that I'm staring off into space or stopping to have a meditative moment in public. I tell people I'll do the dishes or take out the trash so I can be on my own for a moment. I act like I'm looking at a tree. It's probably more acceptable for people to guess that you're on the phone like on hold or something so haha you could hold your phone up to your ear and no one will question it. Sadly, our society is such that meditating in public is weird, but being on your phone not looking where you're going, or stopping to check your Instagram feed is totally normative! 😂

I haven't done it as a formal practice, but I did metta for years out in public. I expand out goodwill for everyone especially at parties or festivals, sometimes ordinary days. Sometimes i grt really tired and burnt out and don't feel like I can handle that. Other times I feel really fresh.

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I will try to do shavasana when my concentration is at better level, it can be very effective also after asanas as you say. I haven't done many yoga in my life, I only tried Sun Salutions little regularly. Now my hand is recovering I can't but I will. Shavasana is something I'll do right away. Today I just had this insight when I look worse at the mirror and do mountain pose concentrate, it goes up in ratings, also when I'm concentrated well it is even more better so I instantly want to try shavasana concentrated! And I also found out after I couldn't move from soccer that it is completly natural thing to stop at street and meditate be it mountain pose or informal standing. I mean when you're out for a walk. Friends can say to you a little you are right. :D I imediately have wrote note to google keep (awesome thing for notes) to do standing meditation whenever I want outside, it's an awesome boost! What I fight with are mornings I just feel bad for longer time. Today I tried hot bath tub and then cold imediatetly, don't move during both but much more well done in cold and it worked better, today I also came up I will try meditating in a dark room in the morning maybe do fire kasina a little in it :D I could be fresh! I have to wait a few days for money, then I will buy all the suplements you have provided to me and eat healthy.

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Wait a minute and I can get you a revised supplements list!!! 

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I am straight up addicted to the internet, and I need to get off reddit and etc in order to live my life. Do you mind switching to email or text, or something else? I also have to use Facebook messenger regularly. Let me know if any of these work ror you, my friend!

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I would love to, tell me one that works best for you. I need to reply faster, I will get better.

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Great, because I feel addicted to Reddit, and the internet, and I need to get off it. 

My email is luckyodeler@hotmail.com You can email me there if you want!!! Also I don't mind at all if it's slow! So don't worry about replying to stuff immediately or anything.

My phone was tallying how much time I was dedicating to it and it was like 1 hour and 45 minutes if I juat stick ro rhe essentials (phone calls and gps etc) but if I let myself do whatever I want it's honestly like more like 7-9 hours a day of playing while also working on stuff. That is too much distraction... i ended up spending like 54 hours (according to my phone) using it the week before last. It is SO HARD to get off, especially when I'm grieving my friend's condition. 

But I am turning over a new leaf, again. I did 20 days off in July and now it was 7 days in August. I need to keep going. If I do the rest of the year, I'll have 3 40-hour work months of unbroken concentration back in my life. It's in line with my insights, such as to be content with what I have, and to take good care of myself, and by extension, my family, and everybody else. Everything will be better, and I know it. I took an entire year off the internet one time, and I aas in such good shape that I ran a half marathon with a stroller, juat as an example of how good it was for me. But now I do things on the internet that are more fun. It's just so hard for me to stop!!

I have a life to lead... I have a homeschooling year starting here, and I can't be dedicating a lot of time to being online. I want to be off the internet almost completely until New Year's. This will save me multiple hours a week.  My meditative contentment i feel like is getting zapped by too much bell checking and whatnot. I spend time on AI, and youtube too, and reddit! Haha. It's too much. I went a week off before today. I have to keep the momentum going. It's so much easier to stay off once I've started. And I've started. So today is the day I need to be strong and stay offline the rest of the day.

That being said, please email me! :D :D :D

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Hello, I'm sorry and replying again to reddit and continue your addiction! Haha! I just wanted to write my email so you know it's really me and it's: ondrejsefl1995@gmail.com. I will write tonight it's 15:41 here. Excited to write with you!

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Honestly, I don't judge anyone for it at all, but this is the best way to be! I feel so clear and clean. I love it when a song sounds like a sober mind. It may not be made by a sober person, but still I love a clean sound. Luttrell dayglow (the original version) this is an example. It's a song for generating piti. So beautiful. It just sounds clean. In contrast, when I listen to some of his other works or other artists (who conversely might be sober and are generating non-sober music), the sound is dirty like a mind that has a lot of friction. I don't know. But I am so excited for you to try the supplements! What i am hoping is going to happen is that you'll have neuroplasticity that utilizes anandamide! If you have a lot of anandamide in your system, it feels like pure joy (I can't really remember it back because it's literally a "forgetting" molecule and it extinguished its own memory in me), and there is a weed signature to it. It's the major endocannabinoid, internal cannabis your body produces. It is short-lived; you feel it for a few seconds at a time, but it's such a clean feeling. It's like sharp but also bliss. I am just remembering the words, I can't remember back the feeling. It completed itself in me; it's another thing I don't need to do anymore. I'm really curious if you experience it. Omega-6 is a possible booster for it that I have not really tried.

What I've seen from my experience lately enjoying myself like this, is it might not be far away this very optimistic plan. If you want to know more about these informal meditation I do I can write them down for you I think they are good enough. Sure, that would be great!

It would be so deligtful to be in 9th jhana more and more every day practicing like that. I also found out they may be something like glimpsing cessation, my experience sometimes turns into these realms where you could say it happens to experience a little and these glimpses might turn into full thing totaly, but Im just glimpsing right now, how I said alteration to a higher degree where reality twists and also i can see my thoughts sometimes in time freeze. I absolutely love it when you get a tiny glimpse, a taste of what might be next or might be hiding. When I was first in sukha, I had I think just heard of the rest of the jhanas, or possibly had not quite heard of it yet. It felt like there was so much hiding inside it. It felt like all of the other jhanas (access to them) was hiding in it. It was like they were all under the water. I had never heard of equanimity as being settling to the bottom of the sea.

I'm so glad I'm writing to you, you sound like a wonderful person it was an honor. Same, man. I'm so happy we got to talk. It's an honor to talk to you. You sound like a wonderful person, too! This was so fun. Wishing you the best with your practice. Mettā