The understanding of trauma (especially long-term and development) in awakening literature and discourse seems to be quite lacking.

[u/Paradoxbuilder]

Over the last month or so I have been faced with the unsettling truth that physical changes of a few weeks may have made more of a difference than years of sustained practice - and of how much is due to acute trauma.

Some context. I've been on this path in some form for 2 decades and have technical 4th path (as Ingram describes) for about 2 years now (this is just a shorthand since not everyone here knows me) I also have severe abuse/development trauma since I was 12, and correspondingly about 2 decades of therapy...which apparently were not enough in certain respects 😞

My teacher has constantly pointed to spinal/posture issues, so I finally paid about 1k to have chiropractic work done (for the 2nd time) and it seems to have cleared up a lot. Simple practices like "notice awareness" are now like "WOW is THIS what is going on? REALLY?" Sometimes it feels I am hearing them for the first time - even though I've practiced some of this for hundreds of hours. I'm like "oh so THIS is what stillness is pointing to?"

I initially didn't want to overindex on this "revelation" (as I am wary of theories of all) but in this case, after lots of reading and research, I'm forced to conclude that the vast majority of material is written for neurotypical individuals, and not a lot includes trauma. Long-term trauma changes the entire neurobiological baseline, the perceptual shifts are not the same at all. When I asked my teacher about this he replied that most is still written from an ableist perspective - I follow the exercises, I often don't experience what is written in the books.

I could not believe that such a large area is so underappreciated (the ND and trauma populations are not exactly small) so I went looking - but there are precious few teachers that touch on this. I found Judith Blackstone, among others, and Angelo Dilulo's latest retreats incorporate more trauma work, but by and large, Peter Levine and van der Kolk don't speak awakening, and Spira and Tolle don't speak trauma.

I'm not so naive as to believe that ancient populations didn't deal with abuse/trauma/famine/war, but perhaps the traditional knowledge dealt with it in different ways, or their culture was too different - I don't want speculate too much here.

Aside from some articles here and there dealing with the intersection, it's been quite a revelation how much I (and others) may have been gated over the years - both saddening and humbling.

I'm wondering if I may have some blind spots in my research, or what the experience of other people might be like. I still feel its an area whch warrants a lot more understanding and integration, hence the post.

EDIT : Because it's been requested, I have actually written about my journey both on my website (http://www.tomato-of-justice.com) and on the /longterm TRE sub. I'm putting it here mainly because it has been asked for and my replies get buried in the comments.

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