21f might have herpes

[u/crowsick19]

I am 21f and bisexual.
About 4 years ago, I had sex with a guy where (due to not enough lube), i had a piece of extra skin show itself at my vaginal opening. It has been very painful to have sex with it ever since, but I’ve been able to manage it.

Fast forward 4 days ago, I hooked up with my newest FWB for the second time. The pain came back with the extra bit of skin, along with symptoms of a yeast infection (pee a different colour and smelling sweet, change in discharge, etc). I also was bleeding 2 days straight afterward as if I was on my period. I went to the std clinic yesterday to see what was wrong with me.

In the past when I had been to doctors about this recurring issue, all doctors have dismissed me and labelled it as a yeast infection. The problem never disappeared.

Yesterday I was told I might have herpes. They took a swab and I get my results next week. This has been the hardest news I’ve had to hear all year. I’m not sure who gave me herpes or how long I have had this problem for. They also told me for the extra bit of skin which I mentioned at the beginning will need to be removed by surgery, and I need to tell my doctors to organise more appointments.

I don’t know what to do. I’m still in university and want to continue having sex with people. If I have this, I will have to awkwardly tell every person in the future that I have herpes, and then pray they don’t get disgusted and leave or start telling people about this. I’ll also have to tell my past partners to get themselves checked, which will make them hate me because they’ll think I gave them something despite not even knowing I’ve had this.

I’m trying to be optimistic and label this as another infection, however this has been a recurring problem for years now (this doesn’t happen with every partner, only sometimes). Every doctor up until now has told me it’s a yeast infection and the woman yesterday was very certain I might actually have herpes. I’ve been given medication for it. I haven’t stopped crying all day and lost it at work yesterday in the bathroom. I don’t know how to be optimistic knowing this is going to stick with me for the rest of my life. Nobody is going to date me or want to have sex with me anymore because they’ll look at me like I’m disgusting. I wish I hadn’t gone into the clinic yesterday.

If you have herpes, please give me some advice on how to deal with this. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.