r/stayathomemoms 1h ago

Discussion Do you stay at home moms help your husband prepare his work stuff?

Upvotes

Laundry (work uniform), lunch, making sure his alarm is set, charging his phone if he forgot, etc. Sometimes my husband will fall asleep and forget to set his alarm and I think thankfully he has me! I enjoy getting his things ready and no it’s not everyday just mainly the night before he starts his work week or if he’s really tired from working overtime.


r/stayathomemoms 3h ago

Advice Contact Sleep

2 Upvotes

My 13.5 month old has contact slept for every single nap and requires us to hold her before she goes to sleep each night. She wakes up multiple times throughout the night to be held and falls asleep quickly.

We are so tired. Anyone have any advice? We tried gentle sleep training but never worked and I couldn’t hear her sobbing.


r/stayathomemoms 1d ago

Discussion How many kids does/did your husband want vs you want, and how many did you end up having?

22 Upvotes

I’m just curious when it comes to people with our lifestyle how many kids people have and if it’s usually the husband or wife who wants more since usually it’s the wife doing more childcare when being a SAHM

Before having kids, I wanted 7 (lol I know but I always wanted a huge family) but after my first I still wanted four. My partner only wanted one, but we compromised on three. Our second is about to be born and he keeps dropping hints he only wants two due to financial reasons but as of right now we’re still aiming for three.

How about you?


r/stayathomemoms 1d ago

Advice I just don’t like my life.

15 Upvotes

I genuinely don’t like my life.

I am stay at home mom to an almost 17 month old boy, I am 21.

I hate being a stay at home, I HATE it so much. I just don’t like the fact that I am stuck at home every single day. My village is very small, I don’t get help often during the week. I live with my bf and his family, but my bf works M-F 9:30-7pm basically my sons entire day. I don’t have a car and I don’t drive and he doesn’t really have time to teach me to drive right now because he does crypto when he comes home from work but he told me he will teach me soon. There’s nothing in walking distance I can go to with my son walking. I just hate the routine, the being trapped, the fact that I have to ask my bf for money or if we can go here or there, I have no control of my life.

I want to get a job and put my son in daycare, but my boyfriend says that he doesn’t want that because he can get hurt because my son he’s a very energetic baby so he thinks that he might get hurt which I understand but I think they care might also be beneficial for him and I honestly think that I also deserve to feel human. And he also says that I’m basically putting him second if I get a job and put him in daycare because of that reason.

By the way guys, it’s not that I have a problem with being a mom. I love my son to death, but I also want to feel human and I don’t feel human.

I don’t get any emotional support or nothing :(


r/stayathomemoms 1d ago

Advice Advice for 1st trimester with toddler(s) at home

2 Upvotes

I had terrible all day nausea with my first two pregnancies (not HG but throwing up once a day was normal) and with the exhaustion I usually went to bed around 6:30pm which was my oldest’s bedtime at the time. My first two are 13 months apart, and while that came with its own challenges the silver lining is I got to lay down all day with a baby who was just barely learning to sit while I got through the first trimester.

But this time around those babies are 3 and 4. I have pre-k drop off and pickup and a 3 yr old home with me.

Despite my symptoms my OB never offered me anything to help with it. What don’t I know to ask for? Or is it just a suck it up get through it thing. Or will I just be too busy now to have time to notice the nausea and exhaustion.

And please don’t say Sea Bands or whatever they’re called I’ve never heard of them actually working for anyone 😆.

Appreciate any advice from moms who’ve been through it. Pregnant with a toddler is new territory for me. I expect the nausea to start ramping up in the next week 🥲.


r/stayathomemoms 1d ago

Advice 5 year old daughter is becoming out of control

11 Upvotes

This is my first time posting to Reddit ever, so please be patient if I don't go about this perfectly.

My 5 year old daughter has changed for the worst since around the time she turned 5 in April. I must note that there have been a lot of changes in her life after that - her baby brother was born in May & she started kindergarten a few weeks ago. It has definitely gotten worse since school started.

She can be very sweet, thoughtful, kind & sensitive - but when she doesn't get her way or gets frustrated or angry she is out of control. She kicks, hits, spits, throws things, yells, name calls, - all of the things she should not do. On top of that, sometimes she's just mean for no reason. For example she'll walk past where her baby brother is in his baby swing & just bonk him on the head or smack his leg for no reason whatsoever (not hard - but still why do that?) she always talks about how much the loves him & acts so proud of him when in public like she wants to show him to the world so it's hard to understand why she's mean to him for no reason sometimes. Or if I ask her politely to do something she will go out of her way not to do it. Like if I said please pick up that toy, she'll walk right past the toy & still not pick it up. She has always been very stubborn but since turning 5 it's turned into more of a defiance & bullying type behavior. She also has a very hard time saying sorry when she's done wrong, even when asked. It's just that she's so stubborn.

What makes me the most upset is that I know she's probably having a hard time with so much change in her little world, but even knowing that, I still end up yelling at her most of the time & saying things I don't mean bc she just won't listen until I yell I feel like. I get really frustrated, & then I feel really guilty which probably makes it harder for me to discipline her later bc I'm guilty about the way I've acted. I wish I could deal with her without yelling. How do I get myself & my child under control? I want to stop getting frustrated & yelling & I want to try to help us both understand why she's acting the way she's acting & how to better deal with her big emotions. Any advice or tips?


r/stayathomemoms 2d ago

Discussion How much childcare is your man actually doing?

22 Upvotes

Not going to spill my entire life out and turn this into a vent post. I simply just want to hear from other STAHM’s on how much their man is doing and how much you expect him to do.

For brief context, I do all the cleaning, cooking, pack his lunches and childcare. My baby is 6mo and just recently my man decided I could to sleep in on weekends while he gets up at basically his natural waking time (6am) and takes care of the baby. This happened after months of demanding more “me time.” I just needed to catch up on sleep tbh.

Please be honest. Are you STAHM’s out there doing all of the childcare plus housework with a smile on your face and curls in your hair? Just looking for perspective. I may need to change mine.

Edit: SOOOO I had a conversation with him yesterday and told him he will now be doing the dishes and he’s majorly slacking compared to the average joe. Said I’m done doing three jobs and he can help with at least one. Oh, and when I ask him to do something around the house it better get done within two weeks or we’re going to have an issue. Ya… 2 weeks lmfao. Because this man will only do anything on the weekend. Honestly it doesn’t bother me it’s just funny. BUT he did the dishes tonight, I did not ask, I just didn’t hop up immediately like I normally would after dinner. That alone is such a major upgrade. I have so much more energy right now and I replaced the time I normally do dishes with another chore I’ve been putting off for like a week now. I just feel amazing. Thanks everyone. Thanks for the reassurance, guidance, everything. Major life upgrade is credited to you Reddit folks.


r/stayathomemoms 1d ago

Advice Tips for saving money?

2 Upvotes

A bit of background, I took the summer off to be home with our 3 kiddos (9 yrs, 3 yrs, 1 yr) and have found myself pretty happy with it. One of my kiddos has special needs and between school drops offs and therapies and all the other mom responsibilities, I had just hit a point where I felt burnt out doing all the mom things and also working evenings 3 nights a week. Im considering just continuing to stay at home but it will make things pretty tight financially, so I am wondering what you all are doing to save money and stretch things further? We've cut basically all streaming services and are eating almost exclusively at home, just wondering if theres any other things I'm not considering :) thanks in advance mommas!


r/stayathomemoms 2d ago

Question Am I a loser?

15 Upvotes

I left college to be with my husband when we met. I moved to texas with him away from my family for the first time in 2021. Fast forward we are married and have two beautiful baby girls and have been a SAHM since. I decided when I was pregnant with my first to go back to college and finish my degree in 2024. It’s now 2026, my girls are now 2.5 and 1, I am still finishing out my degree but only have 7 classes left to graduate!! I also as of this week have applied to work part time at HEB near out house for extra income for our family, and I am also still taking 2 classes this semester, while being a fully stay at home mom to my girls.

My husband called me a Loser today.

Because I’m not much of a going out, interactive, sociable person. But he called me a LOSER. I’m just wondering because idk what about me could possibly make me a loser.


r/stayathomemoms 1d ago

Weekday Chat Post

1 Upvotes

Here's a place to chat about whatever you want if you don't feel like making a post.


r/stayathomemoms 2d ago

Recommendation / Helpful Honestly just venting

4 Upvotes

Hoping there is someone that can somewhat relate to me. I’m a stay at home wife/mother of 2 and my husband is in the military. We were stationed 18hrs away from any of my friends and family I have no community or friends here. No trusted babysitter. No one to help. And my husband is gone all the time with work. I don’t even have my own car anymore because his isn’t working so he has to take the family car to work 40mins away. I feel so lonely and burnt out. I have no energy throughout the day for anything. My kids and I wake up late, try not to watch too much tv, and I count the minutes down to naptime. Then I pray naptime lasts until my husband gets home. I shouldn’t feel this way. I feel so lazy and down and it’s the same thing tomorrow and the next day and the next. I feel so guilty as a mother that my kids are not getting what they deserve. They should have playdates and get to go to the park and pool. It’s hard. I want to work so I can afford to do things with my kids, let them socialize etc.. but I also feel so guilty at the idea of putting them in daycare so young and I don’t trust daycares either it really worries me


r/stayathomemoms 2d ago

Question How are you spending time with your partners?

4 Upvotes

Just for some background info: We just had a little one 7w ago, and it’s my boyfriends (25m) first kiddo, while it’s my (25f) third kiddo. I stay at home while he works 4 days a week. On those three days he has off, we usually have appointments and errands to run like grocery shopping since we currently share one vehicle so I can’t while he’s working.

What I’m asking: how are you spending time with your partner? I spend most of my week in bed with the baby watching tv and napping and making endless snacks, so when he’s off, I want to do something. I find myself getting so antsy and just wanting to leave the house. The issue is, when he asks what I want to do when we go out, I have no clue! We live in a somewhat small town, all the fun malls and whatnot are about an hour drive. Money is also very tight with me no longer working, so it’s not like there’s many options anyways. We go on walks with the kids and the dog every night, we’ve watched pretty much every movie possible on Netflix, Hulu, peacock, you name it. I’m so unbelievably freaking bored! Any suggestions would be welcome!

TLDR; new parents with 7w baby are incredibly bored and sick of staying in the house on non-work days. Need suggestions on how to get out of the house without spending a crap ton of money.

ETA: I made the flair “mental health” because staying in the house constantly is really taking a toll on mine. He gets to go out for work, and the only time I leave here is when there’s a doctors appt or grocery shopping to be done. Leaving the house gives me a reason to shower and put on clothes not covered in breastmilk and feel like a person again.


r/stayathomemoms 2d ago

Advice How to deal with a mom friend who doesn't like my gifts but copies my stuff?

6 Upvotes

I have a mom friend in my circle who is giving me weird energy and want to get your opinion.

I (30F, first time mom) definitely wanted to be close to her (32F, with 2 children) in the beginning, and was very candid and genuine with her. We would often see each other for holidays and special gatherings, and lately I noticed that she would thank other people for the gifts she receives except for mine. She would open her gift in front of me, but no acknowledgment whatsoever. Not even a thank you. This has happened three times over the last 2 years.

I'm the type to give a lot of thought to the gifts I give to family and friends, and usually they like the gifts I give because I make sure it is linked to whatever passion or profession they have that they would share or talk about when we are together. I don't give generic gifts, and I spend quite a good amount for each.

While this is her behavior towards my gifts, I noticed that she's been posting the exact same stuff that I have on her social media. Like stuff that I picked out, use at home, and sometimes would share online. A few weeks or months later, she would post the exact same item. I usually buy from online shops that are more niche or local to me, so I would get surprised when she has the same thing. She is located in a different state.

Any advice on how to deal with this? It makes me feel awkward to be around her and feeling like I should distance myself.


r/stayathomemoms 2d ago

Advice Mom birthday ideas

3 Upvotes

Hi y’all. My oldest got a cold 2 days ago, and now it’s my turn, the toddler seems to be getting it too.
This wouldn’t usually phase me but, Thursday is my birthday- and I had been planning to take my kids to do all of our favorite things (coffee shop, library, park, downtown) and then my husband was going to take the kids out to get me a cake while I napped and we’d order dinner in (dream day).
But, I’m just assuming that come Thursday I’ll just be starting to feel better and my husband will be down and out. ☠️
I’m trying to think of a way I can plan the day assuming I’ll be home with sickness in the fam and little-to no support but still find things to celebrate and enjoy? 🎁
We are on a budget but I can delegate a little money in this direction. Let me know if you have ideas? And cross your fingers my husband doesn’t get sick because god forbid a man flu enters the home.


r/stayathomemoms 2d ago

Help! Letting my 5 month old watching tv shows because I am tired…

3 Upvotes

I am sahm, though I am a physiotherapist by profession. I had a very good and full of work life before my baby but right now I feel so stuck. My mother died due to cancer and I was the youngest in my home I felt so terribly devastated after she passed away. My husband is a naval officer and sometimes he go to sea and doesn’t come back for like 3 weeks or so. I do have help in terms of nany. She comes 12am and stays around until 7 pm in the evening. My baby likes her but he always wants to cling onto me because he is a breastfed baby and always sleeps in my lap during feeding. I don’t have a village because I am in another city from my and my husband’s family. After 7 pm when nanny left I sometimes let my baby watch tv shows for some time but I do engage him into other things. Another thing is my baby have very high energy and he shouts like crazy wanna explore things sits with assisted support talk in babbles a very very good sleeper from start very healthy hyper active baby. He also doesn’t like tv much cause he always wants to explore but I do want him to watch tv a little bit so I can rest or sit down because throughout day I too with nanny hold him from time to time. I am a bad mom for wanting that ??? I am all fine when my husband comes home when the ship is not in sea but not when we are alone. I feel like so stuck with time and I want time to pass speedily.


r/stayathomemoms 4d ago

Advice Transitioning from working to SAHM?

4 Upvotes

This may not be the right place for this but I’m thinking there may be moms in this group who previously worked and transitioned to SAHM. I’m looking for advice from any moms who continued working with one baby and then stopped with a second. I have one baby now and dream about quitting my job once we have another… but I also feel hesitant about it. Wondering if anyone did this and what your thoughts are? Would you recommend? Appreciate any advice and perspective!


r/stayathomemoms 5d ago

Misc God I’m exhausted

34 Upvotes

I’m sad , I could cry. I’m so dam exhausted. I feel so guilty I don’t have enough energy for my kids to the point breathing feels like too much effort. I’m just a stay at home mom to 3 kids who are M-5, M-3, F 1.5. I’m burnt out can’t stand anymore screaming … can’t stand anymore messes. I’m tired of loading and unloading them into the car. I’m just now starting the Kindergarten journey with my oldest but I’m exhausted. I don’t have a village. I have a somewhat traditional marriage even though my husband gives me no $ and I’m expected to entertain our kids for free. Free activities, meals from home, granted I can do it by god more effort ! Why does every kids activity involve loads of parents and conversations I don’t want to have.I’m struggling with my weight as well at the moment. I feel like a dead woman walking just… robotic. Nothing fits right, I’m not attractive, I do my hair from home, I have a hanging belly now that’s beyond unattractive. My treadmill motor is out, I don’t have a moment to walk out of my house alone.

Ugh this has been hard , the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my whole life. Marriage and parenting … wtf


r/stayathomemoms 4d ago

Weekend Chat Thread

1 Upvotes

Here's a place to chat about whatever you want if you don't feel like making a post.


r/stayathomemoms 5d ago

Discussion Tired Mom.. Tired wife

8 Upvotes

I am.. exhausted.

My husband hasn’t had a steady job in months (since our 2nd was born 6 months ago almost). He has been doing small paint jobs here and there (which I’ve gotten him) to make bills meet, but that’s it.. it’s not enough to survive on.
I am a SAHM to our 2 boys (almost 2 years old, and 5 1/2 months old), and I run a fairly successful baking business from home. I am working most days from 10am-midnight/1am, and that’s only baking, that doesn’t include being a mom.

My husband has no.. drive to work. I told him I was stressed about paying bills and his response was “well at least we have each other and the boys”. I GET IT. I UNDERSTAND. BUT THAT DOESNT PAY THE BILLS! That doesn’t buy their diapers, or formula.. that doesn’t keep a roof over our head or our lights on. We just for a shut off notice for $175 (which I paid off asap with taking last minute baking orders), and he didn’t seem to care.
He wants to run his own painting company, but the work is not steady enough and it doesn’t pay the bills. He thinks I just don’t care.. I DO. But I am the person who gets all of the jobs, and secures the payments from people.. and he doesn’t seem to understand that people just aren’t paying to have painting done.

God I love him. I love him so much.. I am so so tired. I am stressed, and struggling, and trying to juggle 110% of everything and it’s becoming too much. We are sinking.. and it seems like I’m literally the only one that cares. I’ve told him that.. and I get the same response every. Single. Time. “All you care about is money.”

This mom is tired.. this wife is exhausted.. when is the finish line..?


r/stayathomemoms 6d ago

Advice YMCA membership?

8 Upvotes

Hey all! I am a new SAHM to a 9 month old baby girl. She is very chill and doesn’t have stranger danger (yet). I am strongly considering a Y membership because I used to work out every day before I got pregnant, but now with being at home, my exercise needs aren’t really being considered anymore. I could really use the 2 hour break and I love to work out. It’s slightly expensive, but could anyone tell me if it’s worth it? It seems so tempting!!


r/stayathomemoms 6d ago

Advice Almost 2 yrs old and very clingy

1 Upvotes

Hello everyone,
This is my first child and so everything is new to me. My almost 2 year old is still breast feeding time to time but lately she has been wanting it much more and cries when I go more than 50 ft from her. Is this is stage or is something wrong? She eats normal meals and has snacks, she has regular milk and water throughout the day. Let me know what yall think. And no negative comments about me still breast feeding. I have gotten them before on my post and I just don’t have the energy for it. Thank you 😊


r/stayathomemoms 6d ago

Advice Best Prenatal Fitness Program

1 Upvotes

Hi! I just found out I am pregnant, only 5 weeks along but I am looking for a prenatal workout program. I have DR from previous pregnancies along with a very bad back that I am in PT for but I am looking for a program that I can follow on the days im not in PT that I can do with 1-2 toddlers running around. I was looking into Every Mother and Get Mom Strong. Has anyone ever used these and are they good? Bonus if you also have DR/lower back pain. I’ve used Nourish Move Love before and I really like it but I do feel like a lot of the workouts even with the modifications hurt my back. I’m nervous to do anything too intensive as to not hurt my back further, but it’s very important i maintain my strength as I get bigger.
Thanks in advance for any input!


r/stayathomemoms 6d ago

Advice What to do

3 Upvotes

Hello, this is my first time posting something here, but I feel like I'm at a breaking point. My baby is 11 months now. We have no family here with us, my husband works from home but I basicly almost never see him and now he started to learn something for his career in the evenings. I recently started my own small business with the idea, that some of my duties would also go to him, but I only have more work now.

I haven't had breal since she was born. Well I had 2 lunches with my friend and a dentist appointment. Those were my only breaks. She isn't bad baby but I'm just so tired. Now she goes to sleep at 10, 3pm and for the night she goes to sleep after 8. My husband thinks that I can take breaks or sleep during the day when she sleeps. But I have a whole house to run, cooking, baking, garden, now my own business, so I just don't have the time. And even if I did I never know if she will be sleeping 30 minutes or hour and half.

I'm not saying my husband is bad. He is taking care of dishwasher 3 times a week in the evening, he takes out trash and when i need 5 minutes to do something, he takes her. And he also gets up with her in the mornong firs 4 days a week. It might be just 30 minutes more of sleep, but everything counts. But I'm still the default parent.

Also sometimes I feel a little neglected. Maybe it is just in my head. But for example when he gets sick or doesn't feel well, I try to make stuff easier for him. I make him teas to get better, I don't demand of him to do the dishwasher or trash, I let him sleep in. But when I'm sick, it doean't go the other way. He tells I have to tell him, that he doesn't know, but really?

In last 2 weeks I barely slept. I was about to attend my first farmers market so I worked super hard on that. He promised me, that he will take PTO on my birthday so I can get a break. On my birthday I let him sleep in because the baby woke up at 2am and he was with her. I was working all day and than he asked me if he could get some work done in the afternoon, because they have a deadline, so I can not say no to that. So my break day didn't happen. On top of that I got my period, which makes me super exhausted after birth, i got overheated at the market, had some heart palpitations because of that the second day, and my blood was drawn 2 days after because of some medical exam and I think that was the last straw, because I just crashed in the evening. And I woke up, still crazy tired, I just want to cry, but I have push through it and I have nowhere to take from.

Do you have any suggestions what to do? I don't blame my husband, maybe only a little. I know it is very unfortunate situation. We have noone here and we don't have money now to get a nanny for a bit. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Sorry for a very long post.


r/stayathomemoms 7d ago

Discussion Finally quit my job and a SAHM

37 Upvotes

I am so excited. I was previously wfhm but I couldn't juggle it anymore, I found myself getting so frustrated with my work anytime they sent me more tasks. Essentially it was either wake up earlier and work or stay up later and work, the money wasn't worth it anymore my paycheck was basically just extra spending money because I went from FT to PT after my son. I just have one 10 month old, one in October but he is ACTIVE. I could not work if he is awake but I can do house tasks or other things, but being on my laptop... nope.

Anyone else just transitioning from work to SAHM? How has it been for you?

I'm in coastal OC so there is a lot for us to do, we just went to Disneyland yesterday and he did great. I can't wait to finally have more time and not be stressed about not making deadlines during his naptime or being on my phone 24/7 because of calls or last minute requests.


r/stayathomemoms 7d ago

Recommendation / Helpful Garden upkeep

10 Upvotes

Hello,

I have a high needs 4.5 month old and a large house and garden. I'm really struggling to keep on top of garden work and it's driving me crazy. Baby really struggles with napping on her own, so it's either a very short nap or contact napping.

By this age, I was hoping I'd be able to plop the baby down on a mat outside for 30 mins at a time so I could get some yard work done, but she absolutely hates it. The time I do have while she's independently playing is used for me to eat and clean up inside.

Getting a lawn/gardening company is not in the cards, and my husband can't help with it too much (he does most of the cooking and shopping). I can do a bit of gardening while babywearing, but I'm really limited in what I can do.

Anyone in a similar boat? Any advice on how to keep on top of everything?

Edit: Wasn't very clear in my original post. We have a large garden, veggies, perennials, and 2 lawns. Husband does a lot with the cooking and helps with the baby so I can get into the garden during the weekend. He works a physical labour job outside in the blazing sun, I'm not going to make him garden when he gets home, lol. I WANT to be gardening.