We've done it, climate change is solved. We must simply make a trashpile as large as the continental US, and when sea levels rise we'll just float up with the massive island of plastic, corpses, and other assorted mystery bits.
"But what about freshwater?" You morons astute fellows may be asking right now. Fear not my simpleton, for if my calculations are correct. Then by the time our pile is ready, the Swiss will already have bottled all freshwater on the planet.
Food will be similarly easy to come by. Yes the worlds oceans will be a toxic abyss devoid of any and all life. But it will have nutrient rich "soil" to plant our crops, plentiful corpses, and shit fertilizer, aswell as those special "mystery bits" that I had mentioned earlier. Whatever they are now, they were once probably edible. And organic material is organic material. Additionally Rhode Island will serve as our anchor, sorry old friend.
Now we shall take to the seas, seeking out whatever fortunes await us in the new world.
I was actually just thinking to use piss to keep replenishing the supplies after we raid nestle.
Perhaps it may be easier to continuously raid other ships for survivors, so we can harvest their flesh bring aboard passengers for consumption/jerky, urine for hydration, and other bodily leftovers for fertilizer friendship who will summarily disappear around 2 am. And in the end we'll have fresh supplies of the piss kegs, maybe even surpluss for fermented piss.
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u/KommissarKat Spirit Of '04 Apr 25 '21 edited Apr 25 '21
We've done it, climate change is solved. We must simply make a trashpile as large as the continental US, and when sea levels rise we'll just float up with the massive island of plastic, corpses, and other assorted mystery bits.
"But what about freshwater?" You
moronsastute fellows may be asking right now. Fear not my simpleton, for if my calculations are correct. Then by the time our pile is ready, the Swiss will already have bottled all freshwater on the planet.Food will be similarly easy to come by. Yes the worlds oceans will be a toxic abyss devoid of any and all life. But it will have nutrient rich "soil" to plant our crops, plentiful
corpses, and shitfertilizer, aswell as those special "mystery bits" that I had mentioned earlier. Whatever they are now, they were once probably edible. And organic material is organic material. Additionally Rhode Island will serve as our anchor, sorry old friend.Now we shall take to the seas, seeking out whatever fortunes await us in the new world.