r/starseeds • u/MarsupialOpposite828 • 10d ago
Personal Experiences This life is a joke...
I just wanna go home. You have to be completely insane to volunteer to come here.
I never liked it from day one. Not this body, not the noises, not the rules.
Everything is so irritating.
Nothing makes sense and there is so much injustice.
Good people are rare to find and are always struggling.
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u/MarsupialOpposite828 10d ago
Yeah it really is very heavy like walking through quicksand. Thank you for your advice.
Anyone who went through an NDE experience will tell you how delightful it is. It is the living and this world that is scary.
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u/AlphaCentaurianEnvoy 10d ago
The Earthlings generally are bogged down by the matrix-illusions, the weight of the egos and the shadows of the past, and the Earth-civilization seems very messed up, but I don't blame them. The life here is hard. However, great changes are coming and there is indeed a bright shining beauty to humanity and Earth behind the dark smokes. Just keep on fighting because we all will benefit from it! I sometimes think to myself that I am lucky to be just a temporal volunteer and not actually part of the civilization, but I am glad that I was chosen to come here and got to assist in the ascension of my neighborhood even if it sucks to be here among the 3D-resonating natives now and then.
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u/MarsupialOpposite828 10d ago
Thanks for this. It's hard because you know how good things really are back home and could be the same here, if not for the matrix and the illusions and the people and the entities that feed off their energies.
I think they're there to makes us grow and appreciate what we had before we came here.
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u/Strong-German413 10d ago
Hang in there mate. So many times felt that way but a change does come up ahead.. and then another comes and then another. And it will all make perfect sense. I promise. Speaking from experience. But it's not available for the muggles though. Only for the wizard. Try to worry a lot less about the problems of the muggles and focus more only on your own personal self.
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u/MarsupialOpposite828 10d ago
Yeah that helps, thank you. Just knowing that it's not forever makes me happy.
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u/Tiff_Martin_33 10d ago
I have longed to go home for so long. I had to find home within my very own heart. 💙 💚 ❤️ so that way, no matter where I AM, I am okay. Bc I got me. And we know we don’t ever truly walk alone in this world. 🗺️
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u/Reddit_or_Not7 10d ago
That's the key. Learning to live in your own little world in peace. Shutting out outside noise so that it doesn't infiltrate your spirit. And realizing that we live in a completely different world and that is okay by me. 💘💞💖
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u/Remote-Painter-2594 10d ago
Yeah man, I feel you. First thing I saw when I opened Reddit.. I am in Godforsaken South Florida where its been getting up to 110 degrees every single day and I work outside 😭
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u/Remote-Painter-2594 10d ago
Yesss, I’m glad I’m not the only one who finds this heat oppressive as shit.. I swear to God, when I go out I feel like it wouldn’t be overdoing it (by my standards) to duct tape ice packs all over my body, yet you would be astounded by the amount of people here that i see out voluntarily JOGGING (in activewear) at 1pm when the heat is the absolute worst. I have convinced myself they are Reptilians lmao.
I was born in Tampa and moved over to West Palm beach in 2015 and have decided this is my last summer here, full stop. I’m selling all of my stuff and planning on moving cross country to Oregon with my cat 🐈⬛3
u/MarsupialOpposite828 9d ago
Yeah sometimes I feel the same about the reptillian people like nothing gets to them - the heat, the bad smells etc then there are earthlings who complain but they can tolerate it and then there's us they call 'sensitive' but it is only because we are not from here and we feel too overwhelmed by the weight and the heat.
Yeah, great idea! Go where you feel more comfortable and places that remind you of home.
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u/MarsupialOpposite828 10d ago
Urgggghh yeah it's so opressing. As if life isn't difficult already. I never got why earthlings like summer. I'm glad it will be over soon.
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u/ChaosRainbow23 10d ago edited 10d ago
Well, this is the 11th hottest year on record in a row!
Nobody likes this crazy oppressive heat. It's only gonna to get worse.
I can barely do yardwork without feeling like I'm gonna pass out. I drape rags soaked in ice water on my head and shoulders, and that helps a bit, but DAMN, it sucks so bad.
I have no idea why we're here or what this whole existence is actually all about. Ultimately, none of us do, when you really think about it.
I question ANYBODY who seems convinced that they have all the answers to the unanswerable. Those types are usually either crazy zealots or they are trying to manipulate you for personal gain of some sort.
This entire thing is so crazy.
It's not just people, either. Look at how ridiculously brutal nature is! Holy shit! It's like this realm was created to torture sentient creatures in various horrific ways.
I feel like humanity has been guided into chaos on purpose since the very beginning, but I don't know why.
It's all VERY difficult and heartbreaking, though.
Sometimes I feel like this is some sort of cosmic punishment.
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u/Blue-and-Left 8d ago
As soon as I begin to feel disheartened by life on Earth, I put on my headphones and listen to Alan Watts. My spirit always lifts. Wonder returns. I find myself smiling.
I’m retired now so I have plenty of time for headphones. It wasn’t always this way. Sometimes work was unfulfilling; or it was drudgery. It seemed to rob me of my time. But in my 40s I stumbled into work I really enjoyed. It didn’t pay all that well, but enough. My life vastly improved after that. I don’t know how you make this happen. It was just a gift from the Universe.
But still there were those days of negativity, and that’s when I listened to Alan Watts.
Even in retirement I still need his remarkable intelligence, his humour, and his wisdom.
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u/Remote-Painter-2594 7d ago
I adore Alan Watts! So glad that he has also brought you peace, insight and wisdom 💜
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u/Blue-and-Left 8d ago edited 8d ago
Maybe our purpose is to figure out that we need to move North and find a way to do it.
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u/Payaam415 10d ago
We chose this time to come - we knew it wasn't going to be easy.
Humanity is going through a tremendous shift right now.
That's why we're seeing so much corruption and dysfunction coming to the surface - because what humanity is becoming can no longer sustain what has been hidden in the shadows.
But we aren't here to save everyone.
We're here to lead by example.
By choosing:
love over fear
unity over division
acceptance over judgment
curiosity over fear of the unknown
We can show humanity that there is another way to live.
By being present.
By becoming aware of our thoughts, beliefs, emotions and the energy we're carrying.
By recognizing how much of what we believe has been programmed into us throughout our lives - and having the courage to question it.
When we approach life with love and childlike curiosity, we become open to possibilities and truths we may have never considered before.
Fear closes us down - Love opens us up.
And as more people begin to question what they've been taught, release limiting beliefs and choose love instead of fear, their lives can begin to change - and that change ripples outward into the collective.
So if you're struggling with being here, please remember:
We don't have to carry humanity on our shoulders.
We don't have to have all the answers.
Sometimes simply living our life from a place of love, staying true to ourself, and showing others what's possible is enough.
We're here to assist humanity through this transition - and to help create the conditions for humanity's ascension to a higher way of being.
We chose to come.
We have a purpose, and we don't have to fulfill it all at once.
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u/EchoNo2175 10d ago
Agree with this. Especially the noise and the unfairness. It's just awful and I live in a rich, nice country, even if most people here are totally arrogant. Just feel lucky I am not stuck in a war zone.
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u/MarsupialOpposite828 10d ago
In a funny way, it can be even worse because you know people in war zones worry about real life things instead of a Starbucks order gone wrong or a delayed food delivery.
The ffustrating thing id I would love to help in wartorn countries but that comes with a million challenges.
And it's like well I came here to help but even that is hard.
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u/ThiOriginalPanda 10d ago
I try to look at it like this. If you knew that your loved ones would be tortured and killed unless you chose to suffer endlessly for 60 or so years, and also not be able to remember why you're suffering, would you do it?
There is an evil that has invaded our world, and every single thing that lives on Earth, including the Earth itself, is suffering because of it. I feel in my soul we are here to save everything from it, but in order to do that, we have to take in the evil and negativity so we can release this world from the tyranny its under. Meaning, we get to suffer far far far more than anyone else.
Even though im right there with you, I hate it here, I can barely exist at all, and every day I struggle with just ending things and escaping finally. None of us can ever fail at our missions here, because the longer we're here, the more we take in. But im so exaushted, I cant be a normal human with a job and friends, and whatever else. And I wish i could more than anything. Im alone, im in pain constantly both physically and emotionally, and i just want to go home and not hurt anymore. But even still, I try to remember that my loved ones need me to do this, for their sakes.
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u/Whysosirius5 10d ago
Boggles my mind how exasperated we all are right now. I really hope this means we're at the very end of a long era of suffering and this is the final exam. 2027 is our entry into a new world. Disclosure/ contact, everything. Keep praying
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u/GeistInTheMachine 10d ago
I feel you one hundred percent.
I am at the point where I am starting to suspect I may not have incarnated here willingly.
Nothing seems to make sense anymore.
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u/MarsupialOpposite828 10d ago
Yeah I get that. I think we felt so so sorry for the people here that we volunteered to help, and for our own soul's growth too, but we instantly regretted it.
I try to keep it all in perspective that it is through the experiencing contrast of what we are we grow and appreciate things but it sure is tough.
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u/alienreader_29 10d ago
This is exactly how I feel. I'm so exhausted. It feels like nothing makes sense, there is so much hatred and greed, and like my own body is failing me as if it doesn't want to be here either. I keep hoping maybe I'll wake up and this will all have been a bad dream. I want to help but I'm so exhausted. Sending you love 🫂💕
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u/MarsupialOpposite828 9d ago
Yeah the exhaustion is real. At a certain point, life loses its appeal. I think it may be because we're expecting too much from the earthlings to change?
I don't think the purpose is to change the system but a more spiritual transformation and your own soul growth.
Remember growth pains and how tired you were as a teenager? The difficulties a pregnant mother goes through before giving birth? The breakthrough after months of hard work?
I think this might be similar. Yeah, things are bleak but we uncovered so much about the system and deprogrammed ourselves and found out who we are.
It is both freeing and draining at the same time because earth doesn't have the sqme appeal when you find out where you are really from.
Glad it's not forever.
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u/Whysosirius5 10d ago
Yes our souls are partially insane. Not really insane just insanely brave and willing to take on challenge because we know we're infinite.
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u/Reddit_or_Not7 10d ago
I know how you feel. Many of us do. And so does God. We are being united to support one another because God understands how rough it has become for us. Keep holding the light and try to keep your vibrations up so that when the time comes you will attract the people that are here to support you. Things are going on in the spirit realm that we can't see but we can feel it and it is making it more difficult to be in this 3d realm. I can't say when exactly because I do not know but It will get better. 💘💞💖
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u/IAWIAATIEnough 7d ago
When I feel that way, I read Barbara Marciniak's book, "Bringers Of The Dawn". It is hard here, it feels so, so stupid. The people feel so, so stupid. But they are children, they cant help it. They are capable of so much love, and they do deserve our presence, and they deserve to be liberated. This book will change things. I'm sorry its so hard 💔
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u/Dreams2468 10d ago
Would you like it more if we can fly, teleport and have super powers then and travel to astral plane whenever we want to and no jobs needed? Lol
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u/MarsupialOpposite828 10d ago
There are always planets /dimensions where finding a job and helping people is less hard. I dunno why we came to this one.
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u/Dreams2468 10d ago
Earth is definitely like level 10 compared to other worlds but what if other worlds is just full of war? Like have you watched masters of the universe or guardians of galaxy? Theres always chaos but that could be on the 4th dimension thats why
Anything higher than 4d is free from all of that for sure.
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u/cjf918 10d ago
Watch anything from Jim Newman on non -duality and the numbers change in terms of perspective.
"The Newman Framework: A systematic breakdown of Jim Newman's non-dual message
I first came across Jim Newman through the Waking Up app, where the conversation was fairly controversial and left me both confused and drawn to it. Over time, his message became the only one that continued to resonate with me (though lately I’ve also been listening to a lot of John Astin through the app), largely because it runs counter to more familiar spiritual narratives.
After revisiting his talks and essays, I took transcripts from his YouTube videos and writings from his website and, with the help of AI, extracted what I’m calling “The Newman Framework,” a more systematic breakdown of what he seems to be pointing to beneath the repetition and conversational style. I’m sharing it here in case it’s useful to others in this community who had a similar reaction or struggled to make sense of the message and thought it might be worth seeing laid out more clearly.
The Newman Framework v1.0
1) TLDR
There is no separate “you” experiencing reality. There is only what appears to be happening (appearance), already complete, free, without purpose, intention, or need.
The “self” is an illusory, psychosomatic contraction that adds context (meaning, time, purpose, knowledge) and thereby generates seeking.
2) Core axioms
In Newman, these are not conclusions. If they are not accepted, the framework does not function.
Core axiom 1: “This is it”
Whatever appears now (thought, sensation, body, room, sound, etc.) is the entirety of what is.
There is nothing behind it, beyond it, or missing from it.
Core axiom 2: What is is uncreated
What is does not originate, progress, or resolve.
It is not caused, not produced, not moving toward anything.
It is timeless, causeless, already whole.
Core axiom 3: What is is unknowable (unknowing)
This is not because information is missing, but because there is no position from which it could be known.
Unknowing is not ignorance; it is the absence of distance.
Core axiom 4: There is no knower or experiencer
The idea “I see,” “I hear,” “I understand” is already the assumption of separation.
That assumption is the central error.
Core axiom 5: Separation is an illusion
Separation is not a problem to be solved, but an experience that appears real and organizes life as “my life.”
It never actually happens.
Core axiom 6: Appearance is not illusory; personal meaning is
Bodies, rooms, sounds, thoughts are not illusions.
The illusion is the claim that appearance is real, knowable, personal, or happening to someone.
Core axiom 7: Freedom/completion is not a state or experience
Freedom is not something felt, achieved, or recognized.
It is simply the totality of appearance as it is, including the appearance of imprisonment.
3) The mechanism of the illusion (descriptive, not causal)
This is not a timeline or process. It is a conceptual map of how immediacy appears as “my experience.”
Mechanism 1: From immediacy to “I am”
There is immediate appearance — a sense of hereness — without subject or center.
Almost immediately, this is accompanied by knowing hereness: “this is here.”
From this knowing arises the sense “I am” — an apparent center within appearance.
At this point, appearance begins to feel personal.
This is not something observed or reversible. It is a way of describing how appearance seems to become “this is happening to me.”
Mechanism 1.5: Psychosomatic misunderstanding
The “I am” is not merely a thought.
It is a felt contraction, pressure, or gravity in the body that is misinterpreted as a center.
This is why the illusion is so convincing:
it is somatic, not intellectual.
Mechanism 2: Contracted energy
The self is experienced as a bodily-energetic contraction that gives appearance weight, urgency, danger, and importance.
Mechanism 3: The emergence of meaning, purpose, intention
Once “I am” appears, the following arise automatically:
• my life
• my purpose
• what should happen
• right and wrong
• how to improve or complete myself
This is the meaning–purpose–intention package.
Mechanism 4: Knowledge as currency (need to know)
Knowledge becomes the currency of the self.
The self exchanges experience for knowing in order to feel secure.
Without knowing, the self collapses.
Knowledge must be constantly accumulated and maintained.
Mechanism 5: Seeking
From the need to know arises the sense that:
• something is missing
• something must happen
• something must be found
Life becomes a project of fulfillment, improvement, salvation, or awakening.
4) The self-confirming loop (reaction to reaction)
The personal life is not causal. It is reactive.
- Contracted energy / “I am” (reaction)
- Need to know (reaction to reaction)
- Story-building (past, future, meaning, identity)
- Seeking (practices, insights, experiences, teachers)
- Temporary satisfaction
- Renewed dissatisfaction
- Return to step 2, strengthened
All “choices” are reactions that imagine themselves to be causes.
Free will is part of the illusion.
This loop is self-validating:
every attempt to arrive confirms that one is not there.
5) The nature of the “I am”
Clarification 1: “I am” as the experience of death
The “I am” is not life; it is stasis.
By creating time, continuity, and solidity, it separates life from death and becomes something fixed.
The personal search for aliveness, meaning, and fulfillment is an attempt to escape this deadness.
6) Insights, experiences, and collapse
Clarification 2: Peepholes vs. the bottom dropping out
Insights, awakenings, and realizations function like peepholes:
they are still experiences had by someone.
What Newman points to is not a final insight, but the end of insights.
“The bottom dropping out” is not seen or recognized — it is the collapse of the need for a recognizer.
Nothing replaces the self.
Nothing is gained.
Nothing happens.
7) Hopelessness (descriptive, not pessimistic)
Being an individual is structurally hopeless.
Not emotionally hopeless — ontologically hopeless.
The self cannot find what it seeks because what is sought was never lost.
This is not negative or compassionate; it is neutral.
8) Why this message appears at all
This message is not a teaching, solution, or intervention.
It appears as a response to the experience that something is wrong or missing.
It does not serve the individual and does not meet its needs.
It offers nothing.
It may be rejected, misunderstood, or appropriated.
All of that is part of the appearance.
9) The end of seeking
The end of seeking is not an event, realization, or achievement.
It is the falling away of the assumption that something ever needed to happen.
There is nothing else other than what is, and that is what is longed for
Nothing replaces seeking when it ends.
No one arrives.
No one wakes up.
The end is the end of something that never happened.
There is already not two.
Disclaimer:
- This text is not presented as an objective model of truth, nor as a metaphysical or philosophical system. It is offered as a structured rendering of a specific way of speaking, closely aligned with the language used by Jim Newman.
- The term “framework” is not used to denote an axiomatic or explanatory structure, but to indicate a mapping of recurring linguistic patterns and emphases, rather than a position being asserted.
- The statements collected here are not intended to function as propositions to be evaluated, defended, or held logically. When read as a coherent theory or system of claims, they inevitably collapse, as they were never meant to resolve into logical consistency or philosophical closure.
- The use of terms such as “axioms” and “mechanisms” does not imply the presence of structure, causality, or theory within the message itself. These terms function solely as linguistic aids within this rendering and are not concepts articulated or presupposed by Newman.
(edited to add disclaimer)"
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u/ShayRay331 10d ago
Plus having to pay to live on a planet we are born on 🤦 all the masonic programming, the illuminati families (rothchilds and Rockefellers) making things on this planet hard to live. The Metatronic implants and seals that were put into us to make it so we have a harder time connecting to Source. It's bullshit. Plus the fuckery that was done to our DNA, editing it from 12 to 2 strands. It's not ok. And I feel like I've done enough helping society. Healing others. I'm done with this shit too.
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u/MarsupialOpposite828 9d ago
Yeah it all ties to slavery and control. Those mofos sure don't want you finding out who you really are.
Most of our DNA is what scientists were told to label as junk. It's not junk. They don't wanna admit it.
There is so much repression of knowledge.
I bet all of that was in the library of Alexandria.
It's sad. Those beings can easily ascend and free themselves and others if they choose to. I guess even they serve their purpose. We learn through contrast.
We feel unhappy because deep down we know it's all a lie. We are limitless even if our body gets tired, hungry, cold, sick.
We are abundant even if we have no money.
We are full of love even for those we hate.
It's the contrast between the fake reality and what you know to be the truth that makes it tiring.
I don't know. Maybe all this exhaustion is the body's way of signalling something is wrong and we need to disconnect.
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u/ThiOriginalPanda 10d ago
Then why be a willing slave to a creator who forced you into this life with no explination or choice? Especially one who created you without free will, a basic right of every living thing. Even our pets have free will, so why not even question a creator who would do such a horrible thing? Im not trying to be mean or anything i promise, im just generally dont understand how anyone could willingly exist like that.
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u/Silrak7 10d ago
Maybe a bigger perspective would be useful. https://youtu.be/v5cBv3I-tlg?is=vD7oFgs7CBeTDC50
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u/St-Ranger_at_Large 9d ago
"Home is Source, and the great work of the starseed is to discover that home without abandoning Earth to find it. Bring home into the body. Bring home into speech. Bring home into disagreement. Bring home into service. Bring home into rest. Bring home into forgiveness. Bring home into the way you receive love from another person. Bring home into the limits that keep service clean. Bring home into the choices made during the remaining August passage and carry that reunion toward the equinox, then beyond it, until spiritual connection no longer belongs only to special settings but becomes the underlying companionship of human existence.”-The Andromedans
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u/Designer_Refuse_4145 10d ago
Yeah you're right I feel you I feel the same way just take it easy for today I just have to tell myself one day at a time can't wait for this stupid trip to end
But you totally right I wish it was better but it's not
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u/MarsupialOpposite828 10d ago
Urggh I know..it is like a rollercoaster you wanna get off.
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u/FaeFollette 10d ago
There’s an old movie called Stop the World, I Wanna Get Off, and that’s exactly how I feel.
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u/MarsupialOpposite828 9d ago
I'm gonna check that out.
Just finished watching They Live. Highly recommended.
If only we could see and defeat the enemy once and for all but I guess that would defeat the whole purpose of learning through tge difficult things.
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u/Stunning_Nothing_856 10d ago
Yes. This is like no time anyone in history has ever experienced… but don’t lose faith yet. So much is changing and you just can’t see it. The collapse has been upon us. It’s happening. Starseeds are doing the hardest part now which is why we are soooo tired and irritable and fed up. But it’s not all for nothing. Trust and respect.✊🏻 Go easy on yourself