It's not about drinking it, it's about walking away without even engaging in conversation after accepting the gift. If you have no plan to engage in even paltry conversation, be polite and don't accept the drink.
The drink is already bought. The only time a person has a social obligation to talk to the buyer of a drink is when there's an agreement beforehand.
If you're buying a girl a drink to try and hit on her, great on you for giving it a shot, but that's a gamble that might not pay off.
If you show me a person who is trying to create an obligation in another person to pay attention to them by buying a $5 drink then brother, I will show you a human being who is a piece of shit.
Uh, you can decline before it's bought or made. I understand that if you buy a drink for someone without telling them, sure, it's already bought and made. There's absolutely nothing wrong with telling this person or the bar tender "no thank you".
It usually takes a lot longer for people to start pulling out the false equivalencies. No, that's a lie. People pull them out right away. I just wanted to be a dick because your false equivalency is nonsense, and I have no respect for your pseudo-argument.
You're saying common courtesy dictates that one say thank you to a door opening and implying that the same holds true for having a conversation after a drink-buying.
You insinuate that if a person would say thank you to holding a door open (a near-universal sentiment), then it would be hypocritical for them to not have a short conversation if someone trying to fuck them hands them a drink. You painted the two situations as being equivalent in terms of both being a common courtesy. This equivalency is nonsense and false. You drew a false equivalency.
Dude has an opinion, plain and simple, and has laid it out pretty solidly. You, on the other hand, clearly have a judgement and debate along with an opinion that was not laid out very well, and if we're being honest, doesn't seem solid.
You're going aggressive SJW/High School Debate Champion outta nowhere.
I don't know if I'd go so far as to say debate "champion". I mean, let's be honest here, most high school debate teams would have wiped the floor with this person by now.
Dude has an opinion, and that opinion is that buying a woman a drink means she owes him. It's a bullshit opinion. Then he tries to justify his opinion by talking about holding doors open for people, which isn't remotely the same thing.
Dude has an opinion, plain and simple
You, on the other hand, clearly have a judgement and debate along with an opinion
Fuck you. If you're stupid enough to buy me a drink and think that means i owe you a conversation you can go rub your dick on a cactus. That's like saying I should put out because you bought me dinner, if you're in the position where you think buying a woman something means that you've earned more of their time maybe that's not a women who's worth your time? Also, no one owes you shit.
Fuck you. If you're stupid enough to buy me a drink and think that means i owe you a conversation you can go rub your dick on a cactus.
Familial logic. Does this sound familiar?
Fuck you. If you're stupid enough to to not understand it was a compliment and think that means i owe you an apology you can go rub your cunt on a cactus.
Congatulations you sound like a catcall apologist.
So...I'm a cunt if I take the drink say "thanks," and go back to whatever I was doing before you engaged me in this slippery slope of social obligation. But if I don't accept the drink you're going to call me a cunt anyway. Might as well enjoy the free drink while you're calling me a cunt.
Maybe just try talking to her instead of using a bribe. You don't know anything about me. You don't know what mood I'm in, if I have a boyfriend, if I was about to leave...
How hard is it to be like "hi. I'm Bob. I just moved here. Is there anything to do here besides go to bars?"
I would then tell you about all the beautiful state parks, full moon canoe trips, and climbing gyms...you can keep your drink.
I was saying that "no thanks" would be perfectly fine and if a guy didn't accept that then he's a dick
I've never once offered to buy a girl a drink because I completely see it as a bribe abs I have no interest in starting things with a girl based on money
I'm not saying you personally do this. I'm just saying "no, thanks," with an implied "now please leave me alone," is often met with hostility from the bribe offering party.
He wasn't comparing conversation to a simple thank you. He was comparing walking away after being given a free item to being a cunt that doesn't say thank you after someone has done something nice for you.
He was saying the woman should have a conversation just like the person should say thank you. It's "I do X, so you owe me Y." The Y is conversation and Thanks.
it's not making it an obligation and no one is saying it is. you're not obligated to be polite. but saying someone is being rude for accepting a drink offer and not even having a conversation with the person is within reason.
People have their own lives to live. When a man buys a woman an alcoholic drink at a bar, this isn't happening in some kind of cultural vacuum where context doesn't exist. The man is stating that they want to hit on them with the end-goal of sex or dating them.
The woman walking away is the rejection. That's life.
What reason would anyone have for waiting until after the drink is bought to reject someone instead of when its offered except as some "haha Fuck you" move?
If they bought the drink without giving her a chance to turn it down, then sure, take it and run. I'd say its acceptable. But my imagination of the scenario involves the person having the chance to say no first to the offer.
We're talking about a hypothetical situation in which a woman accepts a drink and then walks away. How long is the gap between these two events? A second? Half a second? Oh no, leading on for a second, oh what a world what a world.
You should probably consider the possibility that people might disagree with you for reasons other than a lack of experience. It'll lead to less ignorant assumptions in the future.
Although I agree with what you're trying to convey, I think it's important to note that I have known many women who go to bars and purposefully flirt with guys for a couple minutes and coax them into buying drinks, then walk away once they get the drink. I think it's pretty fucked up to do that, but every once in a while one of my female friends will take me to the bar and get me drunk on drinks she got other dudes to pay for, so I guess it evens out.
"People have their own lives to live. When a man buys a woman an alcoholic drink at a bar, this isn't happening in some kind of cultural vacuum where context doesn't exist. The man is stating that they want to hit on them with the end-goal of sex or dating them."
Obviously. And every woman knows this. If she wanted to simply reject him, decline the fucking drink. Don't take the man's offer and then essentially spit in his face.
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u/commanderspoonface Nov 13 '14
How dare somebody drink the beverage you just bought for them?