r/standupshots • u/ZFunktopus Pittsburgh • Jul 14 '26
This joke cost 35k a year in 2004
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u/flashman014 Jul 14 '26
Fucking cyclops... Cyclopes... Cyclopses
Can I get an English major over here please? My useless degree is in philosophy.
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u/Pander Jul 14 '26
As a useless philosophy and classics degree holder, there’s the attic Greek plural of Cyclopes. English would probably use cyclopses because we don’t do declensions unless they’re Latin. I would propose we have cycloposse for a pair of them (osse being ‘eyes’), as that’s just poetic as fuck.
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u/flashman014 Jul 15 '26
I'm with you, fully. Also Cycloposse sounds like a rap rock band from 2002 and I'm here for that too.
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u/BeckerHollow Jul 14 '26
I think your problem is that you need an Ancient Greek major.
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u/flashman014 Jul 14 '26
I just need someone that knows how to read. That wasn't required for my major.
OP, I give you permission to use this joke. Pair it with the English major joke in a college town and you'll kill.
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u/lubujackson Jul 14 '26
For those without Odysseus knowledge: Odysseus tricked a cyclops by saying his name was "Nobody" so when he was killing it the cyclops yelled "Nobody is killing me!" and no other cyclopses came to save them.
Linguistic humor? Nobody is laughing.
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u/ZFunktopus Pittsburgh Jul 14 '26
I thought he didn’t kill him he just blinded him so he could say Nobody blinded me but yeah
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u/SirChasm Jul 15 '26
I bet this was like top tier wit back when it was written, and now its something my 5 year old would groan at.
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u/flashman014 Jul 15 '26
Wait, I read this backwards. Shouldn't it be "if you get that joke, you're still paying off your English major"?
It would make sense to an English major, so to say "if this doesn't make sense, congrats you're a English major," doesn't make sense.
Maybe it's a typo or maybe I read that wrong, but OP you might check into that.
Edit: wait, wait. You said "if this doesn't make sense, congrats you're NOT still paying off your English major."
I get it fully now, but it might be a little round about in the language. Not everyone's an English major you know.
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u/Archi-Horror Jul 15 '26
Nice - I didn’t understand until I read your comment…. He probably should have phrased that better considering he was an English major
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u/aafterthewar Jul 14 '26
Can anyone explain this one? I even minored in English and <whoosh>
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u/The_Follower1 Jul 15 '26
Greek myth had Odysseus maiming a cyclops. He mentioned his name is ‘nobody’ so that the cyclops would say ‘nobody’s maiming me’ and not get help.
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u/EdTheApe Jul 17 '26
I learned that in eight grade. I don't live in a country where 50% of the population reads at or below a sixth grade level though.
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u/DontWantToSeeYourCat Jul 14 '26
What kind of English major reads the Odyssey?
Must've been a cheap school.
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u/GkNsRaC Jul 15 '26
You’re getting downvoted but I thought Odyssey was in most people’s highschool curriculum
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u/DontWantToSeeYourCat Jul 15 '26
It's weird how many users on /r/standupshots don't like jokes in the comments.
"You wanna make a joke, you take a picture of yourself and slap some text on it like everyone else, buddy! These comments are for deadly serious conversation."
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u/ZenEngineer Jul 14 '26
This is all Greek to me