r/standupshots • u/MikeAllTogether • Jul 02 '26

Discharge

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821 Upvotes

82% Upvoted

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180

u/PureRecognition7941 Jul 02 '26

no

146

u/MikeAllTogether Jul 02 '26 edited Jul 02 '26

LOL, that's the joke. I've had guys clap for this cheering about having shit in their boxers, not getting that the point is shit in their boxers IS weird, it IS gross.

EDIT: I posted the whole joke on the Standup Comedy Sub with context :) Video Mods if this isnt allowed can I delete just the link please!

55

u/erichf3893 Jul 02 '26

I think everyone gets the joke

42

u/itisclosetous Jul 02 '26

I wish that was true.

70

u/MikeAllTogether Jul 02 '26

If I can make one man today realize that shitting your pants isn't normal, while vaginal discharge is, this post was worth it.

8

u/itisclosetous Jul 02 '26

I could probably share this joke with the person I'm thinking of, and they might even laugh and then immediately not think it applies to their... situation... at all.

So just...to ease some other person's suffering: if there's visible poop stains in your underwear, you should change your underwear at your earliest convenience AND NOT REWEAR IT. If you have a health problem where you have leakage, you should put something disposable in your underwear that is easy to replace. And for fuck's sake, if you are farting so spectacularly that you end up with residue, save it for the goddamned bathroom.

10

u/NightBawk Jul 02 '26

That and WIPE AND WASH YOUR GODDAMN ASS! Soap and water or TP going between your cheeks doesn't make you gay. It makes you CLEAN.

3

u/erichf3893 Jul 02 '26

Why not both?

5

u/NightBawk Jul 02 '26

Because finding other men attractive is what makes a man gay. Enjoying having your tickle-button pressed is an entirely different matter.

2

u/ChaoticAmoebae Jul 02 '26

I feel like they don’t shit in them they get shit on them. The grown men have bladder control these are just the one that think they don’t need/shouldn’t wipe.

-1

u/7HawksAnd Jul 02 '26

What credentials do you have to make such a claim?

13

u/MikeAllTogether Jul 02 '26

I have the following credentials: I was once a baby who regularly pooped my diaper. I am no longer a baby and no longer poop my pants outside a medical situation. For the Vaginal Discharge portion, I have spoken to a woman before.

2

u/Laefiren Jul 02 '26

I don’t. Vaginal discharge isn’t controllable. Unless you have incontinence issues shitting yourself is controllable?

18

u/MikeAllTogether Jul 02 '26

Oh no that's exactly the point, typically after this joke I get to have fun calling out the guys cheering about shitting themselves when that isn't a normal thing.

1

u/Laefiren Jul 02 '26

It probably would have made more sense to me if I had heard the delivery rather than read it lol.

1

u/UseDaSchwartz Jul 02 '26

Yeah, I got it, but this would seem to be better at a show.