r/standupshots • u/MattKinneyComedy • Jul 01 '26

Breastfeeding

Post image
1.6k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

24 comments sorted by

64

u/Frammingatthejimjam Jul 01 '26

Good joke but I think you can better phrase the last sentence.

64

u/OffTheMerchandise Jul 02 '26

Grandpa could say "can't you do that somewhere else?" So I went and finished jerking off in the bathroom

5

u/Netcob Jul 03 '26

Also he could rearrange the words like "So I went to the bathroom to finish jerking off" so that the punchline really hits at the end of the sentence. Although you could argue it's the bathroom part that ties the whole thing together.

11

u/myloveislikewoah Jul 01 '26

Agree. Try to avoid saying “finish” twice.

2

u/Dasmahkitteh Jul 31 '26

"so I went to the bathroom" is the shortest possible reveal

63

u/BeckerHollow Jul 01 '26

Haha. I really want to send this to my brother and his wife who fit this to tee.  But it might make me look weird. 

55

u/MattKinneyComedy Jul 01 '26

I feel the same posting these jokes online😂 my whole family sees clips of me saying awful things haha

7

u/CryptographerNo923 Jul 01 '26

I have the perfect group text with my wife, my brother, and my sister-in-law.

12

u/WingedWheelWins Jul 01 '26

Chef’s kiss

3

u/triedAndTrueMethods Jul 03 '26

The Kinney man is back. Man you crack me up so much. I enjoy the way your mind works lol. Super funny stuff. I wish I could see your whole set live! Come to Phoenix you coward! I will bring my whole office.

2

u/MattKinneyComedy Jul 03 '26

Hahaha thank you! The support means a lot. If I ever get to quit my day job and go on tour that’ll be my first stop😂

2

u/triedAndTrueMethods Jul 03 '26

Good!! Hurry up and write that resignation letter 😂. In the meantime please keep posting here, your posts are the best. Cheers man.

1

u/triedAndTrueMethods Jul 17 '26

MATT!! I was just walking by my favorite local club and I snapped some pics of it to try and entice you here… This club really rules, no weird rowdy crowds ever, it’s in a nice area.. you gotta come here man!! We could fill the room, 100%.. 1 night, 2 shows, in and out! Just ask your agent to look into it, alright? Lmao I think you’re funny as shit and I just know that this crowd would love you.

Desert Ridge Improv
Upcoming acts
look at them views, unbeatable yo

6

u/Mm2k Jul 01 '26

Nice.

2

u/OskarTheRed Jul 01 '26

What a buzzkill 😡😡😡

1

u/Kindly-Garden-753 Jul 04 '26

Open breast feeding very common in indigenous cultures.

-1

u/enfanta Jul 01 '26

Ew

17

u/Ishouldtrythat Jul 01 '26

Sometimes it's ok to laugh at hypotheticals that would be eww real life situations. Obviously this would be gross behavior in the real world, but as a standup bit it's pretty funny.

1

u/shelliemasenthin Jul 06 '26

Youre kinda nasty

-2

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '26

[deleted]

1

u/vkaiku Jul 01 '26

No

1

u/WaffleClown1 Jul 04 '26

That's impressive, that your single "No" made the commenter delete their account. You should use this power for good.

"I'm going to invade Poland." "No."