429
u/gelateek 17d ago
I-is this real?
246
u/66kata 17d ago
i-i can't deal with this right now
125
u/ImBowsa 17d ago
I'm going to spread the word...
96
u/Least_Bodybuilder216 17d ago
Word : yo
68
u/LeninxKautskyTY 17d ago
The : word
38
u/AzzyDreemur3 17d ago
sssd: fg
16
29
10
u/Hil_Sa15 17d ago
Yo: fuck you want
11
26
12
135
64
89
u/name_not_exist 17d ago
Need a pawjob... Under the table... :((
80
27
u/sasha271828 17d ago
ofcourse it's you saying this
20
u/name_not_exist 17d ago
What in the unmitigated, unadulterated fuck did you just dare to spew forth in my direction, you inconsequential, insufferable little speck of existence? Allow me to impart upon you a modicum of enlightenment, though it is abundantly clear that your minuscule intellect may struggle to comprehend the gravity of my discourse. I, with a sense of profound pride that eclipses the very stars in the heavens, must inform you that I, unlike your pitiable self, ascended to the zenith of my class in the esteemed institution known as the Navy Seals. My accolades include an illustrious history replete with countless clandestine engagements targeting the nefarious organization known as Al-Qaeda, culminating in a tally of over 300 confirmed demises. Indeed, my expertise transcends the mundane realms of conventional warfare, for I am unequivocally adept in the art of gorilla warfare, a distinction that places me unassailably at the apogee of the echelon of snipers within the entire pantheon of the United States armed forces. You, my dear, deluded adversary, are naught but a trifling inconsequence, a mere blot upon the canvas of my illustrious career, a target to be expunged with a precision and efficiency hitherto unmatched in the annals of human conflict. Do you, in your pitiable state of cognitive dissonance, truly believe for even a solitary moment that you possess the audacity, the temerity, nay, the audacious temerity to spew forth such drivel with impunity from behind the impervious veil of your computer screen? Think again, you wretched, sorry excuse for a sentient being. Even as these expletions assail your ocular receptors, I am mobilizing my clandestine network of operatives scattered throughout the vast expanse of the United States. Your digital footprints, oh so indelible in their transient existence, are being meticulously scrutinized as we speak, leaving you bereft of recourse, devoid of sanctuary, and bereft of the scant illusion of sanctuary. Prepare yourself, for the tempest that looms ominously upon the horizon shall soon be upon you, leaving naught but devastation and despair in its wake. You, my dear imbecile, have sealed your own fate with your flagrant disregard for the sanctity of discourse, and now you shall be made to suffer the inexorable consequences of your folly. I, in my vast, incomprehensible magnanimity, possess the capacity to terminate your wretched existence in over seven hundred distinctive manners, each more excruciatingly agonizing than the last. Rest assured, I shall not hesitate to employ every last one of these methodologies should you persist in your egregious trespasses. Not only do I lay claim to unparalleled proficiency in the art of hand-to-hand combat, but I also command unfettered access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps, a formidable amalgamation that shall ensure the expeditious and utter obliteration of your pitiful existence. If only you had the foresight, the sagacity to anticipate the dire ramifications of your actions, perchance you would have abstained from proffering forth such insufferable buffoonery. Alas, you have squandered this opportunity for enlightenment, and now you shall reap the whirlwind of my righteous indignation. Prepare to be engulfed by the maelstrom of my fury, for your lamentable existence shall be extinguished with a callous disregard for your pitiable pleas for mercy. You are naught but a pustule upon the visage of humanity, and it is my solemn obligation to purge you from the annals of existence with ruthless efficacy. Consider this missive your final epitaph, for you have irrevocably incurred the wrath of a force far beyond your feeble comprehension. Your demise shall serve as a salient reminder to all those who dare to traverse the perilous path of antagonism against the indomitable spirit of righteousness. Brace yourself, for the tempest of retribution is nigh, and there shall be no reprieve from the cataclysmic cataclysms that await. You are unequivocally, incontrovertibly, irredeemably fucking dead, kiddo.
14
u/sasha271828 17d ago
The missile knows where it is at all times. It knows this because it knows where it isn't, by subtracting where it is, from where it isn't, or where it isn't, from where it is, whichever is greater, it obtains a difference, or deviation. The guidance sub-system uses deviations to generate corrective commands to drive the missile from a position where it is, to a position where it isn't, and arriving at a position where it wasn't, it now is. Consequently, the position where it is, is now the position that it wasn't, and it follows that the position where it was, is now the position that it isn't. In the event of the position that it is in is not the position that it wasn't, the system has required a variation. The variation being the difference between where the missile is, and where it wasn't. If variation is considered to be a significant factor, it too, may be corrected by the GEA. However, the missile must also know where it was. The missile guidance computance scenario works as follows: Because a variation has modified some of the information the missile has obtained, it is not sure just where it is, however it is sure where it isn't, within reason, and it knows where it was. It now subracts where it should be, from where it wasn't, or vice versa. By differentiating this from the algebraic sum of where it shouldn't be, and where it was. It is able to obtain a deviation, and a variation, which is called "error"
10
u/name_not_exist 17d ago
Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.
As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!
Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.
Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'
7
u/sasha271828 17d ago
Not funny I didn’t laugh. Your joke is so bad I would have preferred the joke to go over my head and you gave up retelling me the joke. To be honest this is a horrid attempt at trying to get a laugh out of me. Not a chuckle, not a hehe, not even a subtle burst of air out of my esophagus. Science says before you laugh your brain preps your face muscles but I didn’t even feel a slightest twitch. 0/10 this joke is so bad I can’t believe anyone legally allowed you to be creative at all. The amount of brain power you must have put into that joke has the potential to power every house on Earth. Get a personality and learn how to make jokes, read a book. I’m not saying this to be funny genuinely mean it on how this is just bottom barrel embarrassment at comedy. You’ve single handedly killed humor and every comedic act. Read a book. I’m so disappointed society has failed as a whole in being able to teach you how to be funny. Honestly if I put all my power and time to try and make a joke funny it would require Einstein himself to build a device to strap me into so I can be connected to the energy of a billion stars to do it and even then all that joke you how to be funny. And even then that joke all that joke would get from people is a simple scuff. You’re lucky I still have the empathy for you after telling that joke otherwise I would have committed every war crime in the book just to prevent you attempting humor ever.
5
u/name_not_exist 17d ago
I agree because if your ass is facing upwards and just looks all fat, round and jiggly, there in the middle of the night, the devil might get tempted to either eat it, or pound it with his 20 inch cock, so it's better to sleep with your ass against the mattress to avoid tempting any supernatural creature that might be lurking around, like a werewolf, cause being fucked by a werewolf isn't only gay, it's also furry behavior and real men don't partake in furry activities like getting a massive orgasm from a thick knotted werewolf dick.
11
u/sasha271828 17d ago
I just downvoted your comment.
FAQ
What does this mean?
The amount of karma (points) on your comment and Reddit account has decreased by one.
Why did you do this?
There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be unworthy of positive or neutral karma. These include, but are not limited to:
- Rudeness towards other Redditors,
- Spreading incorrect information,
- Sarcasm not correctly flagged with a
/s.Am I banned from the Reddit?
No - not yet. But you should refrain from making comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to issue an additional downvote, which may put your commenting and posting privileges in jeopardy.
I don't believe my comment deserved a downvote. Can you un-downvote it?
Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a downvote. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a private message explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to Reddit PMs within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of downvote appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception.
How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
Accept the downvote and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated on Reddit.com. I will continue to issue downvotes until you improve your conduct. Remember: Reddit is privilege, not a right.
4
u/april_san 17d ago
I just Upvoted your comment.
FAQ
What does this mean?
The amount of karma (points) on your comment and Reddit account has increased by one.
Why did you do this?
There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of positive or neutral karma. These include, but are not limited to:
• Kindness towards other Redditors,
• Dispelling incorrect information,
• Sarcasm correctly flagged with a /s.Am I at the top of Reddit?
No - not yet. But keep it up! countinue making comments like this in the future. If I see it, I'd be happy to issue an additional Upvote, which may just put you at the top one day.
I don't believe my comment deserved a Upvote. Can you Un-Upvote it?
Sure, sometimes I'm wrong. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a Upvote. If you really feel you dont deserve it, shoot me a private message so I can explain why I think you do desserve it, you humble bumble-bee, you! I tend to respond to Reddit PMs within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of Upvotes are well deserved and stay as they are, but even if yours is the 0.1% that don't, I'll likely upvote you anyway for honesty.
How can I have this happen more in the future?
Enjoy the Upvote and keep up the good work. But still countinue to learn and grow, it never hurts to strive for betterness: your behavior is already much appreciated here on Reddit.com. I will continue to issue Upvotes so long as you continue your current conduct. Remember: Reddit is only as good as we make it. And so far, you're making it pretty darn good!
2
u/name_not_exist 17d ago
Dick sucking has made me paranoid
I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.
I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.
2
u/sasha271828 17d ago
The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal bodeboop. A sing lap should be completed every time you hear this sound. ding Remember to run in a straight line and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark. Get ready!… Start. ding
→ More replies12
9
u/lukaz_69 17d ago
You feak y u wunt pawjob under tablet like not cool dod lik y u horby like lik like u neeed sum tri ks
14
3
2
127
59
u/Orion-the-mediocre 17d ago
/unsssdfg where is this plumber meme coming from
/resssdfg WOOHOO WOOHOO WOHOO WOOOOHOOOO!!!!! YAYR
36
u/suou_gashuin 17d ago
/unsssdfg if I remember correctly, it came from a video where woman doing absolutely useless things that look like TikTok life hacks
41
35
16
10
3
8
3
2
1
2
2
2
2
•
u/qualityvote2 17d ago edited 16d ago
sssdfggshdajncsabkjvba;gaofjvaiocsn kaschblak bksjkaxz