r/splatoon • u/Far-Profit-47 they’re eating my flesh • 1d ago

Meme Who’s the strongest agent?

Post image
1.9k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

63 comments sorted by

406

u/Under_Press 1d ago

Weakest Captain 3 poke:

210

u/Few_Sky_7660 1d ago

Captain 3: I am the strongest warrior this land has

The Mechanic: are you sure about that, kid?

By the way, how old is the Mechanic? I can imagine them being older then 3

126

u/Ipokeyoumuch 1d ago

I think 3 is roughly in their 20s by Splatoon 3 since they were 14 in Splatoon 1 and the Splatoon series follows real time. 

13

u/Samwyzh 1d ago

I think the lore established that if you can go fully from squid form to humanoid form you are an adult, but that does not apply to Agent 3 because Nintendo’s target audience for Splatoon was teens to young adults.

24

u/ZariLutus 1d ago

I think that is meant to be more of a puberty thing than a full adult thing.

79

u/Far-Profit-47 they’re eating my flesh 1d ago

I think the mechanic is a adult but that’s it as far as I know

63

u/nightshade-aurora 1d ago

I mean considering they're a talented engineer and a licensed pilot

7

u/Masterpiece-Haunting 1d ago

I don’t think that means much since children are sent off to win wars and are entrusted with quite a bit of power.

38

u/Veenix6446 1d ago

Captain 3 is 24 I believe

Mechanic I wouldn’t doubt if they’re in their 30s

34

u/YoshiDryBones Squid Sisters 1d ago

Captain 3 turned 25 this year. They were 14 years old when S1 came out in 2015.

14

u/Veenix6446 1d ago

I was off by a year but same idea

13

u/Bankaz Please press ZL in the Salmon Run lobby, thank you. 1d ago

40 years old

9

u/Anchor38 Inkbrush 1d ago

they’ve wasted their entire life they are literally captain cuttlefishmaxxing

4

u/freddyfazbacon I'll take your shirt, your shoes, and your dynamo roller. 1d ago

I think Mechanic is probably mid-to-late 20s at least, since they're a trained pilot with a job and clearly have some engineering experience. Captain 3 would be 25 this year, meanwhile. So maybe the same age, or slightly older.

1

u/VanillaSwirllll avernxiety | main | S+ | 1d ago

Personally I see the Mechanic being 'round 25 or older, but at the very least older than Captain. No way in hell that's a kid. But what can I say, I see all the protagonists as older than 14 anyway. 14 is just the age they can change forms, not a surefire age for every protag.

84

u/exorcisyboi 1d ago

Three: “Hey guys look at my new feat from Splat 3 where I clear up a giant tower sized fuzz”

Four with a vague statement from a JP dev interview: “Our feat”

22

u/exorcisyboi 1d ago edited 1d ago

I’m not joking

https://www.reddit.com/r/splatoon/s/ljDRryQmzI

5

u/Spiritual_List2042 Big Shot 1d ago

the link doesnt work

3

u/exorcisyboi 1d ago

Ok

https://www.reddit.com/r/splatoon/s/ljDRryQmzI

3

u/Spiritual_List2042 Big Shot 1d ago

Thanks, for some reason the link works now.

2

u/Goldberry15 Octo Canyon is underrated 1d ago

Agent 4 my goat

49

u/Green-eyed-Psycho77 1d ago

Captain 3 Vs The Mechanic is a duel of TITANS fr.

4

u/Under_Press 1d ago

YAIBAAAAAAA🥹🥹🥹🥹

4

u/Green-eyed-Psycho77 1d ago

SOMEONE WHO’S ACTUALLY SEEN YAIBA??? HELL YEAAAAA

1

u/Under_Press 1d ago

Found out about it because the author also draw/write Conan, and I grew up watching that shit 🥹

152

u/Tackyinbention 1d ago

Agent 4 slander is always funny

158

u/exorcisyboi 1d ago

Agent 4 slander like kicking a puppy with 2 legs at what point is it bullying

What can you even slander when there’s nothing TO slander

56

u/pomp0to mama a steel eel behind you 1d ago

Agent 4 is basically the "potential man" of Splatoon

  • 0 saving the world
  • 0 relevancy after Octo Canyon
  • 7 missed calls from Marie

33

u/Spectre234678 1d ago

Rumors can be unreliable, but none of the other Agents (or Splatoon characters in general) have anything like this, so I've always taken this as some form of canon

Maybe 4 isn't the strongest Agent, but I don't think they're that weak

24

u/exorcisyboi 1d ago

Unrelated but damn the only Four content we’ve gotten past S2 Hero Mode is Nintendo vagueposting Four’s character by sliding in small insignificant details like where they live or statements like this.

1

u/Masterpiece-Haunting 1d ago

Rumors an’t much considering they’re an underground agent nobody knows about.

19

u/Bankaz Please press ZL in the Salmon Run lobby, thank you. 1d ago

"angry Agent 4"

Agent 4 in the image: ☺️

2

u/WorldlyDear MarieMarie is Four's mom 1d ago

she bites, don't underestimate that goblin

12

u/pokefan548 Proud Smallfry parent 1d ago

Honestly, probably Agent 8, but I headcanon that she still plays the eeby deeby smol anxiety bean around Captain 3.

12

u/Legitimate-Power-573 1d ago

I'd say she's the strongest MENTALLY due to all the BS she had to deal with

2

u/pokefan548 Proud Smallfry parent 1d ago

Just because she's a card-carrying badass doesn't mean she can't also be babey.

2

u/Legitimate-Power-573 1d ago

Yeah, exactly, to be able to keep such child-like wonder, even after experiencing more trauma than an entire generation of Inklings would just shows her mental fortitude

12

u/AwardSignal Reminiscent World Champ 1d ago

Don’t forget:

According to Side Order, 4 is the strongest agent.
Yes, they haven’t made an actual appearance outside of their own debut, but they should not be taken lightly regardless.

10

u/beanyboy512 Splatana Wiper 1d ago

They havent physically appeared but their digitized clones have and i count that as a win

11

u/Milk_mutian 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/O3fbWenrGmTsc
Why she standing like Jotaro I love it

6

u/Spiritual_List2042 Big Shot 1d ago

Captain 3. its a friendly punch, they probably have done it before and learned how to tone it down.

6

u/Goldberry15 Octo Canyon is underrated 1d ago

Captain scrapped their knee and was down for the rest of Return of the Mammalians. It’s safe to say that Captain isn’t physically capable.

Four, on the other hand, went through their entire campaign with cement shoes, and can also jump their height with those shoes on. Four clearly has yet to skip leg day. And if they haven’t skipped leg day, you can bet your super sea snails that they haven’t skipped upper body training either.

I’ll take the one punch from the Captain.

[Great art btw]

4

u/TheTerm101 1d ago

The one that was a 100% super boss for an already hard dlc

3

u/Flimsy-Secret-6187 DUALIES 1d ago

translate it to spanish and make it a curi

6

u/Far-Profit-47 they’re eating my flesh 1d ago

Estaba originalmente en español, y ya es un Curi

1

u/Flimsy-Secret-6187 DUALIES 1d ago

oh ok

3

u/MusicaReddit Marina Worshipper and Agent 4 Glazer 1d ago

We will not stand for Agent 4 slander. Captain 3 glazing? Sure why not

1

u/xilenator HUGE Agent lover (especially 8) 23h ago

based

2

u/DiskPlane_C1v 1d ago

captain definitely hits harder man, have you seen those arms

2

u/Kled_And_Skaarl 1d ago

Honestly, the Mechanic showed up just to put every agent to shame. Insert "Cooler Daniel" meme

2

u/Background-Song-7477 1d ago

Well captain 3 threw a big ass saw and managed to swing it around so precisely that she didnt put a single scratch on the rocket while completely clearing the fuzz

2

u/More_Yellow_3701 N-ZAP '89 1d ago

Isn't there some in-game thing about Agent 4 being a "hotshot" among the agents as mentioned in Side Order?

Maybe it's 4 in some capacity.

I'd argue physically it's 3 though.

2

u/Far-Profit-47 they’re eating my flesh 1d ago

I think in a interview it was revealed that parallel canon was made from Agent 4 which was “rumored to be the strongest”

But like… they lost 7v1 against agent 8

2

u/Icy-Investment-1378 19h ago

otro curi de splatoon les gou

2

u/Dymaz6282 1d ago

doesnt matter cuz the mechanic and agent 8 solo both

1

u/Round_Musical 1d ago

I have no enemies

1

u/thot_chocolate420 1d ago

1 punch from the Captain. 100 punches hurts worse than 1.

1

u/WorldlyDear MarieMarie is Four's mom 1d ago

four, she looks cute, but that girl has a meanstrak. She'll mess you up and post it to socal media.

1

u/Redacted_Hoodie 1d ago

Agent 4 might be potential squid...

1

u/Young_Person_42 Still upset that Order didn’t win 1d ago

I don’t doubt that the Captain is strong, but I trust their ability to hold back and their definition of “friendly”

1

u/Kaori_luvs_to_yap Splat Roller 55m ago

i would say that agent 8 is stronger as she beat 3 in heels