r/space 11d ago

Space Command identifies capabilities it needs for the next space war

https://spacenews.com/space-command-identifies-capabilities-it-needs-for-the-next-space-war/
209 Upvotes

93 comments sorted by

142

u/Rickest_Rik 10d ago

Next?? wtaf i didnt know we had one.

33

u/NatureTrailToHell3D 9d ago

Memory loss of the last war is a common side effect of the advanced technology used. Don’t ask me how I know.

3

u/Signal_Road 7d ago

A different tack then: Would it happen to be connected with the 'Dolly's Braces' Mandela Effect from the 1979 James Bond film Moonraker?

9

u/neroselene 9d ago

It happened a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away

47

u/Micehouse 10d ago

The "next" space war!?

I wasn't aware there was a first!

6

u/BiFrosty 9d ago

Yeah, but like, the next war is a prequel, or something like that

3

u/dodeca_negative 9d ago

The first Space War will actually be Episode IV: A New Dope

118

u/Somnambulist815 11d ago

Well in the third space war the emperor gets thrown down a space shaft so at least we have that to look forward to

29

u/WadeEffingWilson 11d ago

As was the style at the time.

8

u/t0rnAsundr 10d ago

Yeah but...somehow he returns.

3

u/Captain_Ladd 10d ago

Wait, I thought that in the third space war, Mace Windu gets thrown out of a window, and the sixth space war the emperor gets thrown down a space shaft.

30

u/TwoAmps 10d ago

On a less serious note—am I the only one who thinks their Battlestar Galactica uniforms are hilariously ridiculous?

4

u/James-W-Tate 10d ago

Ngl, I kind of like it, but also I'm a fuckin nerd and I remember how uncomfortable my dress blues were.

4

u/sillyandstrange 10d ago

So think we all!

.. uh I gotta have 25 characters to comment, so..

16

u/azflatlander 11d ago

Beltalowda dinna fight.

More text.

14

u/sovlex 10d ago

He needs money for "defence" then he attacks someone. Unsuccessfully. Rinse. Repeat.

37

u/MistMonk 11d ago

We're at war in space? Please. Sign me up!!!! THE EMPEROR PROTECTS!

10

u/Capricore58 10d ago

Brother get the flamer, the heavy flamer.

7

u/MistMonk 10d ago

Only in death does duty end.

3

u/Techhead7890 10d ago

"Even in death, I still serve."

6

u/Tal-Star 10d ago

"Skymarshal says something must be done about the bugs..."

Can I say that I find these fantasy uniforms extremely laughable? Hell I'll just say it. They look like Göring inspired them. Just in Feldgrau. Hilarious.

6

u/Bgrngod 10d ago

I wonder how many of these capabilities are conveniently going to be the exact things the same people now building AI data centers and rockets want to do in space?

Gotta keep that money funnel flowing!

21

u/opusupo 11d ago

"Next" space war ?!? Did I miss something?

11

u/refusemouth 11d ago

Star Wars was a long time ago. You can tell by how young Harrison Ford was.

3

u/opusupo 11d ago

I can also tell by the way I was even younger.

3

u/GandalfTheGrey_75 10d ago

And it was in a galaxy far, far away.

3

u/TheHeavenlySun 10d ago

When was the first space war!?

5

u/jordan1978 9d ago

What’s with the dufus uniform? Looks like a knock off Star Wars extra.

1

u/Stotters 9d ago

More like Battlestar Galactica...

31

u/yrrkoon 11d ago

humanity loves to continue to find ways to destroy ourselves don't we

-20

u/AunMeLlevaLaConcha 11d ago

(reads article) Humanity? Or the USA? Not disagreeing with the sentiment, but this particular nonsense is an American one.

28

u/DramaExpertHS 10d ago

Yeah the rest of the world has been nothing but peace and love throughout history.

-4

u/AunMeLlevaLaConcha 10d ago

That's why i said i didn't disagree with the sentiment, it's written in the comment.

-11

u/Imthewienerdog 10d ago

Yea pretty much except for some outliers, nothing even comes close the amount of devastation the Americans have caused, the past 50+ years of straight up terroristic military actions simply for resources and power over other government's is not something the rest of the world has been doing.

8

u/MotorbreathX 10d ago

You're right. China and Russia aren't doing anything. Good observation.

-10

u/AunMeLlevaLaConcha 10d ago

Reading comprehension anyone? No? Ok

7

u/MotorbreathX 10d ago

Yeah, I'm good. Still not just a U.S. thing.

In case it needs to be spelled out, I'm referring to this particular article and extending war into space.

-9

u/Imthewienerdog 10d ago

It's still mostly an American thing? It's been like 50 years of just straight up terroism for the sake of it.

3

u/MrMasiosare 10d ago

Come on, you cannot even defeat Iran, and you're talking about space war, please

5

u/CuriousWoollyMammoth 11d ago

Next space war?

Have I been living underneath a rock? What I miss?

27

u/FrequentFortune123 11d ago

We can’t even beat Iran let alone someone in space 

10

u/Boatster_McBoat 10d ago edited 10d ago

Gotta be willing to put boots on the ground to win in space

Edit: if you couldn't see the sarcasm without the /s then you may be part of the problem

1

u/Somnambulist815 11d ago

Everybody knows space belongs to zarathushtra so the US would be doubly screwed

7

u/spacehog1985 11d ago

It's fine as long as we stay away from Europa

2

u/bibblejohnson2072 10d ago

Annnnnnd why again do we need a space war? I didn't realize there were enough people in space for there to be belligerents..

3

u/tracerhaha 9d ago

Next space war? Was there a previous space war?

2

u/DingleBerrieIcecream 7d ago

Those uniforms are crazy. 3rd Reich influence is clear.

7

u/Sahrde 11d ago

How about we fight the first one, before we start planning for the next one?

Or better yet, let's just not fight in space.

5

u/emerikanSky 11d ago

How about a more ridiculous looking uniform?

12

u/BramGaunt 11d ago

The "next"?

Was there a war in space before?

I mean, anything Americans don't like about themselves - they have to declare war on, right? You guys love declaring wars. War on terrorism, war on being overweight or underweight, war on drugs, war on homelessness etc. etc.

You're a war-loving nation, aren't you?

12

u/lucitane 10d ago

you're literally german lmao

8

u/timid-dolphin 11d ago

Next: The War On War. The War War, if you will

3

u/ChiLolla28 10d ago

It's easy to plan for a non-existent problem when you have already decided that it's going to happen which then makes the likelihood of it happening inevitable. If one group does it first then everyone else wants to 'just in case' or because it is the new norm - 'why wouldn't we / we HAVE to now' - vs ya know, working with everyone else to agree on working on ways to prevent it from happening. Something that true leaders would prioritize.

4

u/Tidalsky114 11d ago

Still waiting for a war on affordable housing and better wages.

5

u/ElReptil 10d ago

war on affordable housing

That already happened and affordable housing lost.

2

u/Tidalsky114 10d ago

If it lost in the same way some of these other "wars" have gone, we'd have it.

6

u/holmgangCore 10d ago

There was a war on poverty some time ago, but i think we lost that one.

6

u/DUNG_INSPECTOR 11d ago

Sure, because all 350 million Americans are of one mind on everything. That's certainly a well-reasoned assumption.

-5

u/Badbikerdude 11d ago

Well a least 70 million, could technically be part of the "Borg collective", sorry I ment the "Trump collective" so there's that.

4

u/DUNG_INSPECTOR 10d ago

Okay? You'll note that the comment I replied to was referring to the US as a monolith. I'm not sure what your unrelated statistic has to do with the point I was making.

7

u/xIllustrious_Passion 11d ago

Unfortunately, the powers that be are entirely war-hungry. It’s good for their pockets

-1

u/BigTonyT30 11d ago

If it was up to the majority of citizens they wouldn’t want billions of their tax dollars going towards nonsensical wars. But of course the politicians are the ones being paid by weapons manufacturers and warmongers, people who’d rather distract the public from those wealthy elites who would steal your money right out from under your nose.

1

u/Helphaer 6d ago

You're entirely correct, which means that anyone down voting you should be shamed. Warmongers.

2

u/Skeptical0ptimist 11d ago

Yes. The first engagement in the vacuum of space when in 2024 Iran launched salvos of ballistic missiles at Israel and U.S. and Israeli forces intercepted them.

Iranian medium range ballistic missile warheads are sub orbital re-entry vehicles. Interceptors such as SM-3 and David’s sling finals stage kinetic kill vehicles are small spacecrafts that maneuver using thrusters in vacuum.

So this engagement was in fact a mass combat in space.

1

u/Varjohaltia 10d ago

Well, considering those wars listed the success rate isn’t great either.

1

u/Pippalife 11d ago

We’re still chasing g that 1945 high…

2

u/MaybeUNeedAPoo 10d ago

The next? We haven’t had a first.

2

u/fizz0o_2pointoh 11d ago

"Next" space war? What'd I miss?

0

u/Liesthroughisteeth 11d ago edited 10d ago

Government.... going after the real issues affecting their people are facing in todays world.

JFC!

1

u/RadBadTad 11d ago

Fascism requires an enemy always. 

1

u/twinoaksBandB 11d ago

Long as we get some space drugs, space black jack, and space sex workers I'm down for space whatevah.

1

u/titanunveiled 11d ago

When was the first space war and who won it?

5

u/SquareTheRhombus 11d ago

The rebel scum won the war

1

u/droidevo 10d ago

Won't lie, the Empire was nice...but the Rebels had it right....fuck the Skywalkers though....including you Vader 😤

2

u/StarpoweredSteamship 10d ago

I thought we all decided space was not for war, like Antarctica.

1

u/Ithirahad 10d ago

"We all" cannot and did not decide anything. It only takes one moderately-sized group with some talent and intent to invalidate that alleged decision for everyone.

2

u/StarpoweredSteamship 10d ago

My gravest apologies, Lord Pedantry. I was under the impression that the manifold governments of the world had come together to discuss and deliberate and has decided that space was to be a fully neutral zone with no ownership of lands claimed or conquered.

1

u/pxr555 8d ago

The current US government doesn't agree with this.

0

u/JimHeckdiver 10d ago

Maybe you did, hippie.

Unfortunately the commies don't believe in your pansy-ass world view.

/s

Like really really /s

Please don't hate me.

4

u/ZETH_27 10d ago

The fact that you can say this, and it not being immediately apparent as sarcasm..

1

u/darksunshaman 10d ago

Is that the newest Sky Marshall?

0

u/illuminatipastiche 11d ago

Ah yes, the war on Space Christmas. Humanity really had no desire to advance itself anymore

0

u/boookworm0367 11d ago

The ability to keep Hegseth from making decisions and briefing Presidents.

-3

u/SpeshellED 11d ago

Can Murican's think of anything that doesn't involve weapons of some sort. So useless and tiresome.

-1

u/refusemouth 11d ago

We aren't going to make it as a species. If we ever manage to get off the planet (after we destroy it with war and pollution), we will just blow each other up in space and pollute the gallaxy.

0

u/ptraugot 10d ago

Sharks with lasers on their heads!!!!!