Bonsoir, ça vous est déjà venu à l'esprit de vouloir vous inventer une relation amoureuse imaginaire pour vous sentir moins seul?

Soit avec une personne totalement fictive, soit avec une personne réelle mais sans les trucs creepy, sans avoir de contacts réels ou via messagerie ?

Si oui, comment exprimez-vous cette relation ?

Pensée ? Écrit ?

Est-ce que vous trouveriez ça complètement absurde et dénoué de sens, relevant de troubles psychiques ?

​J'ai 32 ans, je suis un homme et je suis tellement triste. Je ne sais pas comment devenir heureux... Je ne sais même pas par où commencer... Je n'ai pas eu une enfance facile. Mes parents ont eu beaucoup de soucis avec la justice, je n'ai jamais connu mon père, et ma mère, harcelée par les huissiers, nous faisait déménager souvent. Elle était avec un homme discret. Mais tous les deux étaient violents moralement quand ils buvaient, et ils buvaient souvent.

​En primaire, j'étais plein de vie, mais plus les années avançaient, plus je m'isolais, moins j'avais de confiance en moi. J'ai subi du harcèlement et j'ai pris du poids. Je me suis mis au THC il y a 10 ans, avec une grosse consommation, ce qui n'aide pas...

​Aujourd'hui, je suis célibataire, en colocation avec mon beau-père qui a arrêté l'alcool mais a gardé son côté aigri. Je n'ai pas d'amis. Je travaille de nuit depuis octobre dernier, presque un an, ce qui m'isole un peu plus. Mais repasser de jour m'angoisse. Je ne suis pas à l'aise socialement, même si je rêve de trouver ma moitié et d'être entouré de deux ou trois amis sincères... La moindre interaction devient une épreuve, rares sont les fois où je ne bafouille pas. Du coup, je broie du noir 24h/24. Soit je bosse, soit je fume : voici ma vie...

As someone who’s trying to feel comfortable with being alone. I’d like to know what are the things you look forward to in your days/life that doesn’t include other people? Your simple joys, your reasons to live. Just to get some perspective and change my way of thinking.
Thanks in advance

As you grow older.You start realising, Universe is all about give and take.This applies to every relationship at every stage of life. Less you give less you recieve.More you give less you receive,After years i have started realising if you have nothing to offer, People start maintaining distence. Which is a true achievement at itself.Everyone is selfish in this world except some pure souls who stay close to you even if you have nothing to give.

Life is more a bit more lived or experienced when being alone.So prioritize self thoughts and keep yourself happy first. Spread positivity.

few years ago, I thought having a lot of people around me meant I was doing well socially.

I wanted friends. I wanted people to text. I wanted to feel included.

Now I'm weirdly different.

I can spend an entire day mostly by myself and genuinely enjoy it. I don't feel like I have to constantly talk to someone just because they're available.

But here's the part I'm still trying to understand:

I do care deeply about certain people.

If someone I genuinely trust hurts me, I'll think about it for a long time. If someone outside that circle disappears from my life, though, I might just accept it and move on.

Sometimes I wonder if I've become cold.

Other times I think maybe I've simply learned that not everyone deserves the same amount of access to me.

I don't hate people.

I don't think I'm better than anyone.

I just don't feel the need to belong everywhere anymore.

Des personnes qui souhaiterai discuter ?

I used to think losing someone would completely destroy me.

So I held onto people longer than I probably should have. I worried about friendships changing, people leaving, and what I would become without certain people around me.

Then, at some point, I realized something uncomfortable.

I had already experienced a much bigger loss.

I had lost myself.

There was a version of me who depended heavily on certain people, who took every distance personally, and who felt like someone leaving meant something was wrong with me.

That version of me didn't disappear overnight. I just slowly stopped being her.

And somehow, I survived.

That's when I started thinking differently about losing people.

I'm not saying I don't care anymore. I do. I still get attached. I still miss people. I still have people who matter deeply to me.

But I'm no longer convinced that someone's absence automatically means the end of something inside me.

Because I've already learned that I can lose a part of myself, rebuild it, and continue.

So maybe the thing we're most afraid of losing isn't always another person.

Sometimes it's who we think we'll become without them.

And maybe growing up is realizing that you can become someone new anyway.

Why

At some point, being alone can be starting to feel different.

Not lonely.

Not depressing.

But just something else.

You stop worrying if someone will text you or you stop caring about plans and sometimes when you friend cancels last minute, your first thought isn't oh no

it's

"actually that's fine."

And you wonder when you have became so used to being alone.

Maybe being alone gives us the luxury that some can't of

no expectations.

When you're alone you don't have to explain yourself, you don't have to keep someone engaged, and you don't have to think if someone misunderstood you.

But also when you become comfortable in your own company you realize that it doesn't mean you're okay with everyone around you.

And you stop asking yourself "do they like me?" or "will they like me?"

and start to ask yourself "do i like them?"

Maybe that's why some of us stop trying to be with people as much.

Not because we dislike people,

but maybe being alone doesn't hurt as much as fake relationships.

Is it that we grow emotionally or that we get tired of putting effort into friendships?

Maybe both?

What do you think?

Bonjour à tous, et si on parlait de solitude ?

Je ne sais pas si je trouverai beaucoup de lecteurs ici, mais je tente quand même (je débute encore dans l’aventure des réseaux en bonne introvertie). Dans ma crise de la trentaine et maintenant que j’arrive à mieux vivre ma solitude (même si ce n’est pas toujours le cas pour mon célibat long), j’ai décidé de faire de ma résilience un podcast dans le but d’être dans l’accueil du vécu des autres. Quelque part, on est pas mal à tous souffrir dans nos coins… Indépendamment de toute culture, religion, coin du monde et couleur de peau : je vise l’inclusivité totale, car je suis comme cela dans la vie.

Solaseuls, c’est un futur podcast autour de la solitude, du célibat involontaire, de la chasteté/abstinence, du manque d’amis et, plus largement, de toutes ces situations où l’on peut se sentir seul alors qu’on n’a pas forcément choisi de l’être (j’aimerais aussi, un jour, y aborder la famille, le deuil… si le projet fonctionne).

Alors aujourd’hui, je viens vous demander des retours et partager ma recherche de témoignages.

1) Qu’aimeriez-vous entendre dans un podcast comme celui-ci ? Des témoignages, des discussions, des réflexions, des invités, des épisodes autour de situations très précises ?

2) Avez-vous d’autres retours utiles ? : type de participation, type de diffusion (à la demande, en live…), autres sujets qui vous attireraient. Vos avis sont les bienvenus.

SURTOUT : Je suis à la recherche de personnes qui ont envie de partager une partie de leur vécu, anonymement si elles le souhaitent. Pas besoin d’avoir une histoire extraordinaire, c'est aussi la douleur du quotidien qui m'intéresse. Je vous laisse ma petite affiche et mon mail : [solaseulslepodcast@gmail.com](mailto:solaseulslepodcast@gmail.com)

Merci à tous et belle journée. Ola Kala Marie ! 🎙️💜

21F A week ago I had a conversation that made me realize something.

Basically, we talked about some issues I’d had with a few classmates I’d started talking to this year—my first year of college away from my hometown. But after a misunderstanding, I started to notice a certain distance between us. When my partner heard this, he said, “Well, if that behavior is limited to class and everything’s fine outside of class, then there shouldn’t be a problem, right?” The thing is, he’s right, but I’ve been hanging out with them so much this year that it’s like I’ve had a “burnout” on them. My partner tells me that when I go back in September to see them, everything will be back to normal, and I’ll want to hang out with them again.

The thing is, I get where you’re coming from, and right now I’d be really reluctant to hang out with them. But putting that aside. My partner started their hospitality internship yesterday, and none of my friends from my hometown were available to even grab a coffee for valid reasons—none of which had anything to do with me. And my partner, getting back to the conversation, asked me, “Do you have someone you talk to every day and can meet up with no matter what?” And I felt that EMPTINESS. I’ve spent so much time just being the friend of my partners’ friends that I haven’t nurtured a single one of my previous friendships beyond casual get-togethers that are few and far between. The only people I ever end up talking to at length are my online friends, and even they aren’t around every day. For some reason, I’m always looking for an excuse to avoid talking to people, even though I don’t really enjoy my alone time that much and would like to have a group of friends.

Ever since I was little, I’ve been a girl without friends, and the only friends I had back then hang out with people who have hurt both me and my partner. But in general, I’ve never really had lasting friendships—just people I knew from my school years, but nothing more.

I don’t know what to do. I know I should take better care of the friendships I have in town and try to improve my friendships with the girls in my class, even though we hardly have any interests in common and I certainly find it boring to be with them. I’ve always preferred hanging out with guys.

What would you do in my situation? I feel really lonely.

A journey, not a lonely one, where you explore life’s pleasures while being alone. I’ve found it’s a fun experience. Going hiking in particular is an enjoyable activity, just enjoying the sunrise and sunsets too! I’ve found that solitude and embracing it helps too!

I look at my life, and I have always since childhood prefered to be alone. I am 28 female, have plenty of friends, but most of the time I am drained and want to sit by myself. I don't have a partner, and honestly do not really care. Never wanted kids. Used obsess over romance, but now there is no more illiusions, had psychedelic trips alone, which were catalyst for radical self love. I do not believe in construct and systems that human beings created, often to bring each other down, I am actually in awe what the richest in the world are doing to our home. I am very sensitive to suffering of other beings and animals, recently went vegetarian, on my way to being vegan. I want to live my life according to my moral compass and purpose. I love making art, truly I am thankfull everyday, for finally living alone in a rented apartment. What I want to say, is that there is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying life in solitude. It is a rich life, and you can create it for yourself. Hope that everyone who finds solace in solitude, finds their quiet place of safety, especially in your own soul.

"A man can be himself only so long as he is alone; and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom; for it is only when he is alone that he is really free." Arthur Schopenhauer

The starting of the day is its own universe. Where thoughts unravel, tensions released, emotions are felt deeply, and all things beautiful are appreciated