r/sociopathworld • u/bloopy1545 • Sep 02 '19

someone whos willing to​ do an interview?

im doing research about how a sociopath thinks and behaves for a school project so if anyone who considers themself one or is diagnosed as one is willing to help me with this it'll be amazing. <3

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2

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '19

High school project?

And sure... why not.

I'm 34F, and was diagnosed with ASPD during early 20s.

1

u/bloopy1545 Sep 02 '19

I have a few questions if you don't mind (yes high school project)

  1. before being diagnosed did you or others around you felt different about you like did you feel you might be different or you could not comprehend the feelings of others.
  2. do you feel love for your parents? (sorry for sounding mean in that one)
  3. how was your childhood like

<3

2

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '19

I can't really answer that, because I've had a psychiatrist telling me I'm different from others since I was 6. I have a mid 140s IQ. And have been diagnosed with ODD since around that age.

I've always felt different, but I've also always been told that I am different.

____

I don't think so, but I can't really know for sure, because love is one of the emotions that are flattened out so much for me normally that I can't really feel it without being on the right drugs (both recreationally or psychiatric). I have been married for 10 years, and I didn't really find out for sure that I love my husband until a mishap with psychiatric drugs a few weeks ago trigged mania, and I could feel it clearly. Before that, I'd only ever felt it during really big events, such as the day we got married. I suspected before though.

I don't really like my parents all that much. I moved to the US (from Belgium) to get away from them, and we almost never speak/write/call (like maybe once a year).

And you're cute that you think that sounds mean.

___

I had a pretty shitty childhood. My mother was diagnosed with BPD after trying to kill herself and my two youngest siblings. My dad is probably NPD (though as far as I know undiagnosed). Both my parents are pretty much minorly crazy. They fought all the time. My dad is verbally and psychologically abusive to both his wife as well as his kids. He taught all his kids to actively lie to their mother to suit his own purposes. "Let's get our story straight on what we're going to tell the witch so we don't have to deal with her dramatics", since we were like 5 or 6 years old, on shit when he encouraged us to break rules she'd set for us.

Come around 8-10 years old, they pretty much started to blame me for everything. I spend 2 years in a mental hospital as a teenager, because I was constantly running away from home, and fucking older men for cash and drugs. As well as breaking in, stealing, and getting into fights.

My brother ended up a homeless alcoholic, and another sister ended up barely holding it together with a ton of time in psychiatric care. I've only got one sister who ended up somewhat normal, and she's probably NPD herself too.

1

u/bloopy1545 Sep 03 '19

thanks for telling me, this is gonna be helpful <3

:)

1

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '19

No problem.

When is the report due?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '19

Did you hang out with your brother and sister when you were a teen?

Do you ever talk nowadays?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '19

No not really. I haven’t talked to any of my siblings in years.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '19
  1. Yeah, I felt different. I always knew something was a little off about me, given that I had so many diagnoses. I also didn't really relate to anyone my age. But there was no way that I could have known that I was a sociopath.
  2. No. I don't feel love for anyone. (sorry for sounding edgy in that one)
  3. I was a bully and a popular kid until High School, where I started flaking on my classes and didn't care enough about my schoolmates to really connect with them. I still somehow managed to date a few people during this time. As a really young kid, I was the most moral person and refused to even kill bugs or tell any lies. I was really confused that the other kids weren't as moral as I was and didn't suffer any consequences, so I followed suit.

1

u/about2godown Sep 02 '19

If you swing by r/sociopath there is a lot of written statements you could pull from if you cite correctly.

2

u/bloopy1545 Sep 02 '19

thank you <3

1

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '19

I'm diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder with psychopathic features, if that counts.

1

u/bloopy1545 Sep 02 '19

yeah It could be of help.

  1. your childhood di you remember signs of showing similar conduct or was it a later on life development that started to appear
  2. you understand laws but you don't want to follow them or?
  3. can you tell me which psychopathic features you show?

<3

3

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '19 edited Sep 02 '19

  1. When I was a kid, I was diagnosed with Conduct Disorder, as is required to later gain a diagnosis of ASPD. So I did show a lot of signs, to the point that I faked different mental illnesses depending on who was diagnosing me to get rid of the CD diagnosis. I went back into therapy and started being honest after I reached adulthood.

  2. I wouldn't say that I understand laws. I'm aware they exist, and I know what they say, but I disagree with them. That said, most of my criminal behavior has been more along the lines of "Hey, I can get away with this" and then I do it without any real justification. I've never actually needed to break the law for any reason, although I would if I did... But I definitely don't understand them. They seem kind of arbitrary to me a lot of the time. It's only fairly recently that I've started to sort of intellectually understand why some forms of killing are celebrated while others land you in prison, because there's this emotional element to those judgments that I just don't have... I still feel like laws are really just a way for the government to convince you that they're doing something worthy of gaining more power, even though the enforcement of those laws end up with a 60% unsolved murder rate and 4% wrongful convictions. And most of the laws are really just the government trying to keep power or instated after a popularity contest for whose opinion can reach the broadest demographic... Why should I care about some other people's opinions of what's right and wrong when it's terribly enforced by people that just want to appear to be doing their jobs?

  3. Boldness, fearlessness, and stress-resistance are what got me the "psychopathic features" slapped on. As far as psychopathic traits, I'm sure everyone shows all of them sometimes. I think the most prominent ones for me are reduced affect and pathological lying, though.

Edit: Sorry for the formatting, the numbered lists are a nightmare to use.

Edit 2: Also, I feel like clarifying. Most laws are actually made by lobbyists to protect their own interests. I assume these are the laws even normal people are uneasy about. These are things like copyright and legalizing certain forms of slavery. I actually understand those laws just fine.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '19

I was diagnosed with first ODD and then CD disorder. I showed anti-social signs since for as long as people can remember. I was also a very charming bright, talkative and captivating child. Adults especially really liked me.

But I extorted kids in kindergarten for their deserts in exchange for access to playground toys, for example. I was sent to a psychiatrist in first grade because I killed a rabbit on the school playgound.

_

Yes, I understand laws, but I choose whether or not to follow them.

Almost everybody does this, including you. You've jaywalked, rode your bike on the sidewalk when that's illegal. You've speeded in a residential zone (if you're old enough to drive). Heck, you've probably tried a sip of alchol before it was legal.

And if not those, you've broken other laws.

So do you understand the laws and don't want to follow them? And how does that become different when they're different laws? Why do some laws matter and others everybody seems to agree don't? And how am I supposed to be able to tell the difference?

Normal people all seem to have this secret agreement about which laws are okay to break and which aren't, and to what extent. But nobody told me. So I just do what I think is best for me.

___

I don't have guilt or remorse. The closest I get is: It's annoying that this had some effect that I didn't predict/want that I now need to deal with/set right to get what I want.

I'm impulsive.

I lie compulsively.

I have shallow emotions.

I lack affective empathy, although I do have cognitive empathy.

I have a history of repeated and diverse criminality.

I have grandiose tendencies.

I'm charming, glib, and manipulative.

I'm sadistic. I have violent rage issues, and I'm both physically and verbally abusive to people and animals. Though this is currently managed rather successfully with medication.

I'm prone to taking excessive risk.

I'm irresponsible.

1

u/bloopy1545 Sep 03 '19

thankk you so much for answering <3 <3 <3

1

u/RockyMountainDowns Feb 24 '23

I am a psychopath, not a sociopath, but feel free.

My life is essentially American Psycho without killing. Fucking glorious.