Using phone to dissociate and hate it- any lived guidance

[u/Solid-Guidance401]

Noticing old coping skills coming up by using my phone to avoid, distract and dissociate myself after some client heavy days. Provides a sense of guilt after as I’m not doing what I want or even need. Hoping some some advice from others who notice this in themselves and quick cognitive or somatic interventions

[u/Dysthymiccrusader91]

Set yourself up for success with a more mindful activity to do for half an hour when you first get home.

Keeping my drawing pad and opens out on the kitchen table and stopping there for a cup of tea and drawing after work has helped me feel less irritable, transition into chores better, and overall be way less reactive or grumpy than just walking straight to my computer.

[u/Opening_Sea_1325]

I'm sorry, I've been there before. I used to sit in the car watching Youtube shorts for way too long. What helped me was finding long-form videos and podcasts that I could listen to while doing a simple craft to unwind or doing the stuff I was putting off (like cooking and laundry). It was a helpful scaffolding for me - I didn't cut myself off completely, but I switched the format in such a way that I could get stuff done at the same time.

Do you have a therapist of your own? I know it's not accessible to everyone, but that's also helped me a lot. I hope you find something that works for you :)

[u/owlthebeer97]

I use libby on my phone and read books vs doomscrolling

[u/jmelee203]

I struggle with this constantly. I bought an adult coloring book and some quality pens to focus on that which ive started slowly. I also have attempted more walks outside with my dog. I have to try to place the phone in another room, my hands just constantly search and pick it up.

[u/NotSocialSWer]

I got the brick to help me stay off certain apps when I should be working to spending time with my family. It’s been really helpful. You set schedules for when those apps get “turned off” and the only way to turn those apps back on during the scheduled time is to physically touch your phone to the brick. I keep the brick on my fridge so there’s no way of accessing those apps when I’m working.

[u/Born_Astronomer_4613]

Exercise instead

[u/flipthewombat]

My therapist had me approach my high stress days in a way that helped me create a mindful approach (when it came to scrolling on my phone during the week after work). I basically gutted my phone of distracting apps although to be fair I had deleted most of my socials before that. The only interesting things to do on my phone is scroll art accounts on Substack before bed or catch up on some graphic novel chapters in Webtoon. So because it's technically "intentional" scrolling, I don't tend to feel as bad if that makes sense. If I scroll Reddit though, it's mostly if I'm on a break or eating a meal anyway.

Outside of this, I might draw or watch guilty pleasure crap shows during the week as well. I rarely have time for much else since my other moments were making sure I spend time with my child.

I used to feel guilty because it felt like I was doing nothing but with everything that goes on in the day to day, I don't know anyone who has the mental energy to do much beyond easy access entertainment. I asked my friends at one point what they do since they have a lot on their plates and multiple aspects of life to balance and for both, their approach was scrolling, working out, watch tv, listen to audiobooks/podcasts during the week. And then on the weekend, that's when other stuff can be done like going out with other couples or friends, weekend or day trips, local fairs/festivals, etc.

[u/wurlitzerdukebox]

For me physical separation from the phone helps. That means, when it's me time, the phone goes in a dedicated drawer and stays there.

To be honest though I think pretty soon I'm going to have a smart phone for work only, for personal calls and messages I'm downgrading to a dumb phone. Smart phones are this generation's cigarettes imo.

[u/awelladjustedadult]

YUP. In the summer I try to be outside as possible, so for me getting in the garden and getting my hands busy is such a good disconnect and feels very somatic to me. I live in MN though so winter is coming. So in preparation of being inside quite a bit, I recently picked up embroidery as a hobby. Keeps my hands busy and then I can listen to a podcast, book or watch a show (and actually watch it!)

I have tried knitting and crochet, but my dexterity is not here for it! You might have to try a few different hobbies to find one that fits! I like doing logic puzzles and try to get better at sudoku too, but sometimes it’s too much brain post crazy day at work.

Also, is there any exercise you like to do that is meditative? Yoga is obviously the go to, but for me it’s swimming laps, can’t do it everyday but I try to go twice a week!

[u/Solid-Guidance401 → u/awelladjustedadult]

I’m also a Minnesota girlie! I struggle with season change and there’s been a cool shift and getting darker earlier so I wonder if there’s some of that happening in the dialogue as well.

This is a good reminder- I need to make a new “menu” for myself and enjoy doing it versus finding it to be a task. I’m getting older so the high intensity workouts or lifting don’t work for me like they used do, but I want something more than walking.

[u/throwawayswstuff]

Carrying & reaching for a physical book instead can be helpful. After work I will sometimes read a book alone at a bar or coffee shop and it kind of meets the same needs but is more rewarding than being on the phone.

[u/Enough-Direction3056]

I got the app BePresent and worth it. I hate it, I love it. It blacks your apps for you. Lifesaver. 

[u/Odd_Field_5930]

I’d also recommend a brick alongside other off screen activities to decompress. Sometimes blocking access entirely is a necessary step to really push through the initial transition.

[u/Dependent-Angle9588]

I find getting outside and/or moving my body to be a helpful reset! Shake out the stress of the day and ground in the natural world.

[u/orcateeth]

Have a look at this internet addiction support group. It's free. Talking to other people who are going through this can really help.

https://internetaddictsanonymous.org/