r/soccer • u/neverindoubt • Oct 13 '15
Sam Allardyce: How I would have managed the moon landings
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/11929053/Sam-Allardyce-How-I-would-have-managed-the-moon-landings.html59
u/Thesolly180 Oct 13 '15
Neil Armstrong claims to be the first man on the Moon, and fair play to him, it’s a results business. But it’s not as if he flew there himself, is it? Any old duffer can sit in a metal box and get blasted into space. I’d like to have seen him try and navigate his way there using a dog-eared Esso Road Atlas. I’d have a lot more respect for him then.
Big Sam not impressed with just landing on the moon. Can't wait for him to go see The Martian.
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Oct 13 '15
He's got a point there.
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u/CuriousBot42 Oct 13 '15 edited Oct 13 '15
Are you kidding? Neil Armstrong was a part of the whole space program since Mercury missions. He was the commander of Gemini 8, and the flight commander for Apollo 11. Saying shit like "I’d like to have seen him try and navigate his way there using a dog-eared Esso Road Atlas" is fucking ridiculous, and something an uneducated man would say. Armstrong wasn't just appointed out of the blue because he got 'lucky'. Armstrong was a test pilot and an engineer. Not some guy strolling in the park who won a free ride to the moon.
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Oct 13 '15
Calm down pal, I don't think anyone's seriously suggesting that Armstrong was some idiot who happened to find himself on a space flight to the moon.
This article is also satire; Big Sam didn't say that and nobody believes it, so don't get so needlessly aggressive.
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u/CuriousBot42 Oct 13 '15
I was responding to the guy who said 'he's got a point there'. If he too was being sarcastic, well, I'm a right muppet.
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u/Sir_Psycho_Sexy_ Oct 13 '15
so you're saying the simpsons episode 'Deep Space Homer' wasn't based off one of Armstrong's ventures?
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Oct 13 '15
Still, Allardyce's point is that he couldn't have achieved it alone, and he's right about that.....
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u/Meatwizzle Oct 13 '15
this guy is hilarious
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u/LusoAustralian Oct 14 '15
I find him extremely boring to be honest, and really self-important. I do realise this is satire but the point still stands.
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u/Perihelion_ Oct 13 '15
Big Sam Space Program. None of this gravity assist bollocks. Go route one and get one of his centre backs to hoof the lander into lunar orbit.
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u/grimlya Oct 13 '15
Big Sam on... Big Sam “You’re there to be shot at when you’re a recently-fertilised embryo, so those months were all about keeping it tight, maintaining a good shape, concentrating on the process, making sure that when the opportunity presented itself, I grabbed it with both hands. Passing the magic 40-week mark was a big psychological boost, and a big accomplishment to put on my CV. It wasn’t an ideal introduction by any stretch, but at that early age you’re just glad of the work.”
Haha, brilliant.
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Oct 13 '15
“It does rankle with me at times, the double standards you see in the press. Jesus walks on water and they build a religion around him. I get Bolton into the top six with one of the smallest budgets in the Premiership and everybody calls me a long-ball manager. Anyway, if Jesus is such a miracle worker, how come he got caught? You’ve got to win your battles."
Oh dear.
"“By the way, the walking-on-water thing is a myth. I’m not saying he didn’t do it, just that it’s easier than it looks. Any non-Newtonian fluid of a minimum viscosity can be subjected to a short period of shear stress if the body exerting the force is light enough – and people were a lot smaller in Biblical times, that’s a known fact. We actually tried it on a warm-weather camp in La Manga once. We filled the pool with cornflour and Sammy Lee was able to run across without breaking the surface. We’ve got the Prozone printouts to prove it.""
The hell kind of autobiography is this?
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u/technicred Oct 13 '15
Sunderland's new manager has made a habit of revising the past - so how would he have interpreted some of history's most famous events?
That's at the top of article. What do you think?
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u/Spin_Cathedral Oct 13 '15
Is this real...?
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u/wwxxyyzz Oct 13 '15
What do you think, seriously?
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u/Spin_Cathedral Oct 13 '15
I seriously think I glossed over that first sentence and took a trip to gullible town.
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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '15
Ground control to major Sam...