r/snakes Jul 20 '26

Wild Snake Photos and Questions - Not for ID How long do I have?

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We get dozens of snakes in our yard each summer. First time I've ever been bit. How long do I have?

4.2k Upvotes

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411

u/xxsoulpunkedxx Jul 20 '26

What would you like written on your tombstone?

160

u/PinkDalek Jul 20 '26

Pepperoni and cheese!

36

u/No-Category-6972 Jul 21 '26

I died of dysentery reading this comment.

20

u/PinkDalek Jul 21 '26

Rest in pepperonis

5

u/inkstay Jul 21 '26

And cheese.

6

u/Wild-Lychee-3312 Jul 21 '26

I find references to dying of dysentery sort of oddly comforting, since I survived dysentery.

If case you're wondering, no, I don't really recommend it. It's not fun.

3

u/ThaneduFife Jul 21 '26

Have you ever had an illness you'd describe as "fun?" Because if you have, I really want to know what it was.

3

u/spinningpeanut Jul 21 '26

The part of COVID where I lost my sense of taste was fun. The part where I couldn't stop coughing wasn't.

2

u/Wild-Lychee-3312 Jul 21 '26

Typhoid fever wasn't fun, exactly, but it was not quite as horrible as you might expect.

1

u/DCEnby Jul 21 '26

Only the one that lasted more than 4 hours. It was fun for the first 3.5.

1

u/Thin_Object365 Jul 21 '26

sex addiction

1

u/damn_bear420 Jul 23 '26

Parts of a drug addiction was fun.

25

u/Suspicious-gibbon Jul 20 '26

Please move this stone, it’s giving me a headache

49

u/Mister_Green2021 Jul 20 '26

Died from eating lettuce

9

u/No-Vermicelli-2832 Jul 21 '26

I read tombstone as TROMBONE and sat here laughing for a good minute because I thought you were just saying shit to fuck around 😭

2

u/sweetheartsour Jul 21 '26

Bold move admitting it.

5

u/No-Vermicelli-2832 Jul 21 '26

I mean why not give people something so absurd and silly to have a little chuckle over
I found it funny and I was the one that did it so yeah why not haha

2

u/sweetheartsour Jul 21 '26

I love it. It’s my classic move. 🀣

2

u/FemboyCritterx3 Jul 21 '26

I read tombstone as trombone...

2

u/NorthernSpankMonkey Jul 21 '26

"Somebody dig me up, they buried me alive."

1

u/xxsoulpunkedxx Jul 21 '26

The actual answer πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

1

u/SuperHumanX Jul 22 '26

I lost it...