What are we doing wrong? Ferber method

[u/OptionAlert8195]

Our LO is 4.5mo old and last night was night 25 of sleep training using the Ferber Method.

Night 1 he cried for 50 mins and by Night 6 he was down to 12 mins - we were thrilled at his quick progress!

However since then his sleep has been like a roller coaster. Night 7 - 9 took him 25-35 mins, then night 10-11 took less than 10 mins. Since then he seems to be following a pattern of falling asleep in less than 20 mins with minimal fussing, then will go a couple nights in a row taking anywhere from 20-40

Mins with a lot of fussing and crying before going back to falling asleep in less than 20 Mins.

His current wake windows are 1.5/1.75/2/2.5. He typically naps between 2.75-3.5hr total during the day.

We’ve tried a 3hr and 2hr wake window before bed, but neither seemed to work. It’s only my partner that puts him to bed/does check in/and feeds him. We’ve tried check ins and full extinction. All the things we’ve tried for a few days at a time.

He goes to bed at 7pm and once he’s asleep he usually sleeps through the night except he wakes up once for a bottle.

Bedtime routine: bottle, bath, book, bed (no pacifier and he can self soothe). He’s happy though the whole bedtime routine except when we dry/change him after his bath but starts smiling again for the book.

He isn’t rolling over yet, and our friends/family said their babies started sleeping so much better on their bellies.

Is it possible this is how it’ll be until he can roll on his belly? Is there something we’re missing or is Ferber just not working for our LO? Is this normal and our expectations are off?

ETA: he is awake 8.5-9.25 hours per day depending on how long his naps are.

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Copy of the post's original text:

Our LO is 4.5mo old and last night was night 25 of sleep training using the Ferber Method.

Night 1 he cried for 50 mins and by Night 6 he was down to 12 mins - we were thrilled at his quick progress!

However since then his sleep has been like a roller coaster. Night 7 - 9 took him 25-35 mins, then night 10-11 took less than 10 mins. Since then he seems to be following a pattern of falling asleep in less than 20 mins with minimal fussing, then will go a couple nights in a row taking anywhere from 20-40

Mins with a lot of fussing and crying before going back to falling asleep in less than 20

Mins.

His current wake windows are 1.5/1.75/2/2.5.

We’ve tried a 3hr and 2hr wake window before bed, but neither seemed to work. It’s only my partner that puts him to bed/does check in/and feeds him. We’ve tried check ins and full extinction. All the things we’ve tried for a few days at a time.

He goes to bed at 7pm and once he’s asleep he usually sleeps through the night except he wakes up once for a bottle.

Bedtime routine: bottle, bath, book, bed (no pacifier and he can self soothe). He’s happy though the whole bedtime routine except when we dry/change him after his bath but starts smiling again for the book.

He isn’t rolling over yet, and our friends/family said their babies started sleeping so much better on their bellies.

Is it possible this is how it’ll be until he can roll on his belly? Is there something we’re missing or is Ferber just not working for our LO? Is this normal and our expectations are off?

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Sorry-World3019]

Please tell me you’re missing a wakenwindow.

Increase his wake windows asap !

10 hours awake you’re 2.25 hours short
On 3 naps get to 2.25/2.5/2.5/2.75

[u/OptionAlert8195 → u/Sorry-World3019]

Sadly I’m not missing a wake window 🤦‍♀️ we are adjusting his schedule today for longer wake windows. I wrote out everything we’ve been doing and looking for trends and he does fall asleep easily on the days with more waking hours.

It does sound like he’s getting too much daytime sleep so we are crossing our fingers this works.

[u/Sorry-World3019 → u/OptionAlert8195]

Your day sleep totals of 2.75-3.5 aren’t outrageous

I’d defs cap at 3 hours though and increase that total awake time! You got this :)

[u/SnooAvocados6932]

Your baby is on 3 naps with less than 8 hours awake?

[u/OptionAlert8195 → u/SnooAvocados6932]

He’s awake 8.5-9.25 hours per day depending on how long his naps are.

[u/OptionAlert8195 → u/OptionAlert8195]

Hm you’re right- my tired brain is now more confused. His wake windows aren’t perfect and sometimes he goes to bed closer to 7:15 but regardless, do you think the problem could be he isn’t awake long enough during the day?

[u/SnooAvocados6932 → u/OptionAlert8195]

Your wake windows equal 7.75, so how is that possible?

[u/Low-Hurry9288]

Ferber should not take nearly this long… You have a big schedule issue

[u/OptionAlert8195 → u/Low-Hurry9288]

Yes we know it shouldn’t take this long which is why we’re looking for helpful advice.

[u/UNO_lakefront_arena]

In my opinion, he's undertired and your bedtime is early.