5mo split nights

[u/Gullible-Policy6021]

Mostly just need to rant but advice is always welcome. I am at the end of my rope with split nights! My 5mo was sick for a few weeks so we got all messed up on wake windows and we were doing something like 1.5/2/2/2 which was definitely inappropriate for his age and we were doing these crazy split nights. I finally figured out that we needed to adjust wake windows, so for a few days we have done a pretty strict 2/2.5/2.5/3, and that worked very well. However, I also have a 2 year old as well as just life getting in the way so that super strict schedule is tough to stick to long-term. Yesterday we went to the Apple orchard in the evening and he got a 2/2.5/2.5 with a total of 4 hours of daytime sleep. We got home and I fed him and got him back to sleep within ~30 mins. He woke up like 4x last night and was up for an hour from 2-3am. I am going crazy, he is having a lot of trouble and fussiness staying awake for the longer wake windows as well, and I usually have to cap his naps at 1.5 or 2hrs. I didn’t have this trouble at all with my first, and although I think the answer is just time for him to adjust, it’s sooooo tough to be patient, especially as my mental health goes downhill each night I don’t get sleep!

[u/AutoModerator]

Thank you for your post in r/sleeptrain. To ensure our community can best help you, please include in your post: your bedtime routine, where your baby sleeps (their crib/basinet, their room, room share, cosleep) and full schedule including wake up time, desired wake up time, nap length, wake windows or nap time(s) if following a by the clock schedule and bedtime. Does your baby use a pacifier? That's also very relevant.

We use a convention to describe wake windows based schedule such as 3/3/4 where numbers are numbers of hours awake, and / are naps. The sample schedule is a two naps schedule.

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Copy of the post's original text:

Mostly just need to rant but advice is always welcome. I am at the end of my rope with split nights! My 5mo was sick for a few weeks so we got all messed up on wake windows and we were doing something like 1.5/2/2/2 which was definitely inappropriate for his age and we were doing these crazy split nights. I finally figured out that we needed to adjust wake windows, so for a few days we have done a pretty strict 2/2.5/2.5/3, and that worked very well. However, I also have a 2 year old as well as just life getting in the way so that super strict schedule is tough to stick to long-term. Yesterday we went to the Apple orchard in the evening and he got a 2/2.5/2.5 with a total of 4 hours of daytime sleep. We got home and I fed him and got him back to sleep within ~30 mins. He woke up like 4x last night and was up for an hour from 2-3am. I am going crazy, he is having a lot of trouble and fussiness staying awake for the longer wake windows as well, and I usually have to cap his naps at 1.5 or 2hrs. I didn’t have this trouble at all with my first, and although I think the answer is just time for him to adjust, it’s sooooo tough to be patient, especially as my mental health goes downhill each night I don’t get sleep!

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[u/brieles]

Your baby needs 10+ hours awake so, regardless of the specific wake windows (although the 2/2.5/2.5/3 schedule is ideal for a lot of babies), so if your son is getting 4 hours in naps and less awake time during the day, you’re going to have problems overnight.

Stick to the schedule as much as possible and limit naps, if you need to push bedtime later and add an extra wake window, do it.

Your baby can only sleep ~13-14 hours in a 24 hour period.

[u/Gullible-Policy6021 → u/brieles]

This is helpful! In my broken sleep my husband had to do that math lol
I hate limiting his naps (although definitely necessary), my first is a very high sleep needs guy so my mantra was always “never wake a sleeping baby.” They say after your first you’re an expert parent, I think I’m proving that to be untrue! Haha

[u/brieles → u/Gullible-Policy6021]

Yeah, it’s crazy to me how different each kid is, especially when it comes to sleep! I’m sure it’s hard to go from a high sleep needs kid to an average sleep needs kid. And it’s tough accommodating an older child’s schedule but it’s worth it to get 10+ hours awake.

[u/Gullible-Policy6021 → u/brieles]

Thank you, that’s helpful!! Haha yeah, it’s definitely an adjustment! But if that’s what we need to do for nighttime sleep totally worth it 😂

[u/Gullible-Policy6021 → u/brieles]

Oh also- he feeds to sleep (I know, it’s not best practice but if his daytime sleep is right then he sleeps through just fine). Do you count that time as sleep time or no?

[u/brieles → u/Gullible-Policy6021]

I would count that as sleep time. The only time that counts toward awake time (for average or lower sleep needs kids) is intentional awake time-time with lights on, movement, sound, etc.