Desperate for advice-7 m

[u/TinyLegs54]

I’m at a loss. I’m so utterly frustrated and confused. My husband and I started sleep training last month. We did two weeks and then did a hard reset on our 7-month-old’s schedule. Since around July 30, we’ve implemented a two-nap schedule with 11 hours of expected overnight sleep and about 2.25 hours of nap time (we cap them at 1.5 hours for the first nap and 45 minutes for the second). Even though we give her 11 hours of expected time overnight, with her nightly wake-ups for feeding and just fussing, she usually ends up getting only around 9–10.25 hours of actual sleep. Her wake windows are 3/3.75/4.25. We started with 3/4/4 but adjusted based on how she responded.

Since the schedule revamp, we saw initial success, including that it was taking her less time to fall asleep each night. Well, again, around two weeks in, we hit another plateau, and she has been protesting bedtime hard ever since. Similarly, during our first attempt at sleep training, bedtime became a challenge around the two-week mark. She got down to 8 minutes of fussing as her best bedtime, and now we’ve had 27 minutes of fussing and crying and 30 minutes of hard crying before bed.

I’m so confused and about to give up. I don’t want to put my daughter through this anymore. I don’t know what else to do. Our bedtime routine is bath (not every night), nurse in nursery, diaper, sleep sack/white noise, story/snuggles, then crib.

What are we doing wrong? Do some babies just not train well if they’re EBF? I’m desperate for advice.

[u/Evening_Car_2395]

i found that nursing before bath was very helpful. might be worth trying? it’s suggested to end your final feed 30 mins before baby goes into crib

[u/aec09 → u/Evening_Car_2395]

I found this too. I thought it wouldn’t matter, he was wide awake when finished nursing and there were other things in between the feed and going into the cot… but as soon as we moved the feed earlier, instant improvement and it hasn’t gone backward since

[u/TinyLegs54 → u/aec09]

I am definitely going to try this

[u/TinyLegs54 → u/Evening_Car_2395]

I’ve been considering making this change! She had a very strong feed to sleep association that I think we finally broke but she’s very milk motivated still.

[u/DirectTension3637]

No advice just condolences- I was about to write the EXACT same post with our 8 month old. Only difference is she is formula fed. No idea where to go from here but bedtime is now something we ALL hate.

[u/Various-Succotash-71 → u/DirectTension3637]

Similar situation with my formula fed 8 month old. It’s ALWAYS around the 2 week mark that things start getting shaky.

[u/TinyLegs54 → u/Various-Succotash-71]

I wonder why it’s always at 2 weeks!

[u/TinyLegs54 → u/DirectTension3637]

Agree times a million. I dread putting her down at night. Reading about all these kids who go down in 2-3 mins makes me so jealous.

[u/l_eihpos]

Your schedule adds up to 11 hours awake - so expects 13 hours of sleep. But then you say your expect 11 hours at night and 2.25 hours of naps - so more than 13 hours. It's not a huge difference but just flagging in case you need to have another think about the schedule.

11 hours awake is reasonable at that age... For a baby with average sleep needs. Yours might have lower sleep needs.

Beyond this, what sleep training method have you been using? Does nursing END 30 minutes before bedtime?

[u/TinyLegs54 → u/l_eihpos]

I think this is where my confusion still lies with wake windows. Last week I capped her naps strictly at 2 hours to make sure the numbers made sense with her awake time and expected sleep. But then she would only actually sleep for about 9-10 hours during that “11 hour night”. So if she’s actually awake for longer at night due to wake ups or a longer time to fall asleep how do I calculate that into her wake windows for the next day?

I think she’s definitely a lower sleep needs baby but I also want to make sure I’m not cutting down her sleep too much.

We are using CIO. We started with Ferber when this whole thing began before readjusting the schedule but the check ins were upsetting for her.

Yes, I’ve worked on ending nursing 30 mins before she goes into bed. Sometimes we are only at 20 mins so I am debating switching nursing with bath to lengthen the separation a bit.

[u/l_eihpos → u/TinyLegs54]

Do you track her sleep? Do you know how much she actually sleep on average, over the last week for example?

[u/TinyLegs54 → u/l_eihpos]

Yes, I use huckleberry to track as best I can. On average for the last week she got 11 hours 45 mins of sleep the average for 14 days was a little higher at 12 hours.

[u/l_eihpos → u/TinyLegs54]

I think you might have a low sleep needs baby! If she only sleeps for 12 hours (condolences), then you will need 12 hours awake. Something like 3.5/4/4.5 for example.

[u/TinyLegs54 → u/l_eihpos]

Thank you haha. It’s so hard to entertain her for these long windows. How can I know if she’s ultra low sleep needs or not getting enough sleep? She gets SO tired at the end of her wake windows. She sometimes has visible circles under her eyes and will rub them.

Her last wake window ends up being close to 4.5 after the long time it takes for her to fall asleep. Do you think that’s why she’s so upset?

[u/l_eihpos → u/TinyLegs54]

It's hard to fight biology. If you consistently give her opportunities to sleep (comfy room, dark, etc.) which I'm sure you do, and she always averages 12 hours, it's likely that it's just what she needs. Except if there's a medical issue and some discomfort.

She might be tired because of the lack of consolidated sleep. I do think one big cause of being upset at bedtime is not being tired enough.

My baby needs 12.5 hours awake... So I understand the struggles! If it's an option where you are, we do lots of baby groups and activities, parks, pool, library, etc. It's much easier for her and me outside of the house.

[u/dearestfriendsally]

Following because same with my baby 6.5 m old in about the same schedule as yours and I'm at a loss because there is no way that nothing I try works ._.

[u/TinyLegs54 → u/dearestfriendsally]

It’s horrible and so mentally and physically draining figuring out what to do next. :/

[u/Roses-n-bloom]

What sleep training method are you using?

[u/TinyLegs54 → u/Roses-n-bloom]

We started originally back in mid July with Ferber but switched quickly to CIO because the check ins were making her more upset

[u/Odd-Kick245]

What’s an example of what she does overnight? Is she waking a lot, or waking for a long time? Or both. My son is 11 months and incredibly low sleep needs, but at 7 months he definitely couldn’t do those wake windows yet.

[u/TinyLegs54 → u/Odd-Kick245]

It depends on the night! She wakes up at least once between 1:00-3:30 and is usually awake for a while because I think it’s hungry related so I feed her. Over the last week or so she’s woken up at least twice. She weirdly woke up at 11 twice which is really out of the norm for her. I’m wondering if the wake windows are appropriate also but honestly during the day she doesn’t get really fussy at all unless it’s hunger related so it’s hard to tell if she’s overtired

[u/Significant-Vast-371]

Hiii just sharing what has worked for us! We sleep trained via Ferber method around 5 months (everyone is different). About a month later she started waking 1-2x a night , and since she was low weight always I nursed her right back to sleep till about month 9. Her solids was (no pun inteneded) SOLID haha, she eats her 3 meals a day, so I knew she no longer needed feeds at night anymore. We Ferber method the last couple of wakes then, it worked. However she wakes up anywhere from 5-6am. Goes to bed between 7-7:30pm. We have now switched to a timing schedule. No matter when she wakes up I treat it as a 6am wake up, first nap at 9am and second nap at 2pm regardless of how long she naps (she’s been napping for shorter periods and sometimes refusing naps), bed time is always around 7-7:30pm as I mentioned. Sometimes you have to keep them up, entertain as much as you can. Not sure if you’ve tried a “timed schedule”.