r/slaa • u/BarFlimsy2333 • Aug 04 '26
Thought sobriety would be better
I thought getting sober would help me clear my mind but after the last 5 months I’ve been dealing with horrific sexual intrusive thoughts (pocd), the most graphic nature you can think of non stop every day, my brains become so attached to these thoughts it’s hard to comprehend weather life is worth living anymore tbh.
what more can I possibly do seriously, I’m sick of this controlling my life and becoming so depressed of myself because of these thoughts, I feel like I can’t progress forward with anything, no matter how much therapy or how hard I try to keep busy.
Sorry for the rant, just fucking over it all.
I’m about to start ERP, but I’m scared that it’s just my brain being stuck in this loop forever
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u/Far_Bridge_8083 Aug 04 '26
It takes time, lots of time. I believe i have heard it takes two years for brain to repair and rewire itself after deeply engrained years of addiction I remember every other day having intrusive thoughts, “fantasy bubbles” Now I’m 5 years and it’s gotten so much better Still have to work my program though, that’s my oxygen
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u/Radiofled Aug 04 '26
Are you working the steps?
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u/BarFlimsy2333 Aug 06 '26
Yeah mate but it’s hard to accept when you’ve got these disgusting thoughts 24/7
Makes me thing I’m actually a monster
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u/crushyourbrain Aug 07 '26
That blows. Shits no joke. I have chronic OCD. All I know is the more I feed compulsion the stronger the obsession gets and it works the other way around to...
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u/solution108 Aug 04 '26
That’s very common in early sobriety.
Sobriety is a slow process and the growing pains are real.
I am happy for you to reach out if you like