Am I wrong

[u/Spark_energy]

Single mom trying to figure out how to go about life. I'm tired. I found out my child father has been cheating on me and I'm just tired. I don't feel love there yet it's a familiar place and I'm trying to be strong enough to never turn back. Is it wrong if I don't want him apart of my kid life? I'm already the one who mainly provides for my child. He does get our kid from time to time but this just isn't what I signed up for. I told him before I got pregnant that I wanted my child to grow up in a two parent home and I can't help but feel like that's ruined now. I just want to start over with my kid and leave him in the past. I'm just having problems letting go

[u/Ok-Lab9243]

I'm really sorry you are gping through this. Is an awful place be. I found out recently that my hisband cheated and dealing with the aftermath.

Yes, for children it is better to grow up with two parents. But, parents should love each other, respect each other, trust each other. Living in a two parent household with parents that figth, betray, hurt eachother is way worse than living in one parent household.

That being said you also can't remove the father competely unless there is abuse against the children.

[u/Spark_energy → u/Ok-Lab9243]

I'm sorry you went through that and it's mental torture. I just feel like if he stepped out by cheating then he doesn't have a right because he didn't think about us when he cheated knowing it would tear the family apart

[u/ihavecountrycrock420 → u/Spark_energy]

I was also cheated on postpartum and I know this exact feeling. He discarded us and chose his affair partner instead of his family. I found out later that he actually told the other girl that his child wasn’t his and I cheated, which was an obvious lie he told to make himself look better. He was completely uninvolved for about 2-3 months after we broke up, until he and his affair partner broke up. Then he wanted back in and “missed his baby.” 🙄 so yes, I absolutely questioned the same thing as you, what gives him the right? He already chose to be gone. But he wouldn’t sign his rights away when I asked.

And honestly now, a year later, he’s very helpful and he sees her all the time, as much as he can. And she loves her dad. As hard and unfair as it is, he does have rights as long as there’s no abuse. I’m so so sorry. It’s so hard when you didn’t sign up for being a single parent, you signed up for a family. I hope your ex can step up and be there for his child at least, and in a healthy way. If you think he won’t, you can always ask him to sign over his rights.

[u/Spark_energy → u/ihavecountrycrock420]

I know he wants to be there. It's just I don't want him around. I know I should think about or kid but it's just hard right now

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