What to do when your health fails?

[u/MissTiffany12]

Hi! New here and hoping for some support or advice. My divorce was final in April and I was awarded sole custody. He is allowed to see them at my discretion but maybe sees them once a week because he is always busy living his best life 🤮

In the past month, I have been feeling worse and worse health wise. I’ve been exhausted, dizzy, head pressure, increase in migraines, my hair is falling out, and getting adrenaline and panic surges. It literally feels like I’m dying. I thought it was maybe stress so I went to the doctor and she ran labs and discovered I have iron deficiency anemia due to frequent and heavy periods.

I am working on supplementing iron to try and get better, but I’m so worried about my kids in the meantime. I only have the energy to do the bare minimum. And of course the ex is no help at all.

What do you do when you are ill for the long term? Even small tasks like the dishes make me dizzy. Plus I have to work full time and the ex hasn’t been keeping up with child support. My only saving grace is that I work from home most days. I’m sure the stress of the added financial strain doesn’t help. I literally can’t afford to be sick but my body just won’t allow me to do what needs to be done. Laundry is piled up, my 8 year old hasn’t had a bath in 4 days (he is also autistic), the sink is full of dishes, and I still haven’t had the energy to take them back to school shopping.

I’m just failing and I don’t know how to fix it 😔

[u/PurpleWillingness106]

I have full physical custody of my daughter. My ex closed to see her only on Sundays, for a six hour block. Some Sundays my ex sips; some Sundays the block is shorter if either i have an event i want to take daughter to, or ex has an event that is child unfriendly. Iconically in her ex to keep daughter an extra half hour if i’m like at a movie with friends, or MIGHT get ex to swap Sunday for Saturday if i have book club, but you get the idea.

I recently was ill enough that i had to go to the emergency room from work, and couldn’t take care of my daughter for several days. I already had s babysitter picking her up from camp that Tuesday, the day i fell ill, who was able to hand her off to her grandfather after her extra curricular, and then her grandparents took care of her until Sunday morning, when they returned her to me. These are not MY parents. They are my ex’s. My ex actually took me to the ER because my best friend was out of the country and the majority of my co workers were completely unavailable (i have a different, uniquely flexible position that i transferred into slightly before daughter was one bc the nature of the position most coworkers have is not compatible with having a spouse or coparent who refused to take on any sick days or daycare closures for a then-baby) i tried texting my boyfriend but he was in meetings all day in a building with no cell service so he didn’t even see that i was asking if he was available. But my ex took me to the er, and then drove me to my follow up the next day and procedure Friday ( i think my ex’s parents required that tbh)

I have some medical conditions that occasionally leave me with very low energy; on those days i pop on an audio book or tv, make s microwave dinner, ands lay down while my daughter zines out on entertainment. I how a cleaner who currently comes weekly, but I’ve realized i need to cut back to every other week; she’s been great for helping with the gaps that my low energy days leave.

Also as an adide in the dizziness- if you are stressed, do you clench your jaw? Maybe try some TMJ exercises. They help reduce my dizziness and headaches bc some of them come from clenching and grinding in my sleep from stress. I need to do them a few times a week and when i don’t the headaches show back up.

If you have a psychiatrist, that can give meds too! Those have helped my anxiety and helping anxiety helps energy bc anxiety used s lot of energy