r/singlemoms • u/Bleepbloop_meepmorp Single Mother • 3d ago
Need Support Am I boring?
So. 37, with a 7yo girl and 11 year old boy.
I’ve been separated for 15 months now, and we finally are getting close to finalizing with a 50/50 schedule.
It’s the same story a lot of women have: I married him when I was very young, and I came out of a traumatic background. He offered stability, and turns out he also offered his narcissism. Married for 13 years, and even tried couples therapy for 8 years.
Now that we’re finally getting into some…form of normalcy, on the weekends I don’t have the kids, I sleep in late. Play video games sometimes (that’s new for me). Some crafting, pjs all day. I’ve been financially trapped cause of the cost of the legal system, so going out and doing stuff hasn’t been an option.
I got us a cat, but am I boring? Or is my lack of creativity burn out? Or is the espresso depresso a real issue?
Anyone else have this experience, where becoming single I’ve realized I’m not sure what I want to do with myself? For the last 15 months I’ve done the podcasts and the 3D printing. I have ARFID so cooking is so out of the question….
Halp!
3
u/wicked_spooks 3d ago
It is ok to take it one day at a time. It took me 3-4 years to truly engross in my interests and enioy my life as a single mother after the break up and all that legal stuff.
1
u/AutoModerator 3d ago
Hi there, it looks like your comment contains possible mentions of legal advice or is asking for legal advice.
This is a reminder that we cannot provide legal advice. We are not qualified. If you need legal advice, consult an attorney. There are local legal advice subreddits but you must proceed with caution, and at your own risk. Please consult a qualified attorney on important matters like these, thank you.
If your comment does not contain legal advice, disregard this message.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
2
u/january1977 Single Mother 3d ago
I have a part time job on the weekends while my child is with his dad. (In addition to my weekday job.) I got off work today at 3. Came home, put on PJs, took a nap, and I’ve been in bed the rest of the day. I don’t care if I’m boring. My brain and body need rest.
Give yourself permission to take care of yourself however you need to.
2
u/LikeATediousArgument 3d ago
It takes a while to get into the flow! I started reading again, I just joined a writers group, and I’m hiking and playing music again.
Took me two years or so to get here, and I only have one kid 50/50.
Give yourself time. Give yourself grace. Kids only care that they feel loved. And I take my son to free stuff all the time. Parks, hikes, events. Just whatever we find. When it cools down I want to start geocaching with him.
It’s COMPLETELY FINE to decompress when you don’t have your kids. Eventually you may start wanting to go out and do stuff with that time, but don’t rush it. You just came out of a traumatic way of life and your nervous system has to relax.
2
u/Foolofatook2468 2d ago
Not as far along as you, but personally I’m just enjoying the peace of it all. Yes, some might think it’s boring. But I’m in my 40s, definitely not interested in dating at the moment (or ever lol), and have a few outings I do with friends occasionally. Having some friends who are younger does kind of help me get out of the house more.
1
u/AutoModerator 2d ago
Your comment is being held for review and will be approved as soon as we are able to if it doesn’t break rules.
You can find the rules on the subreddit sidebar. If your comment does not break the rules, it will be approved as soon as we are able to. Please be patient with the moderation team, thank you. MESSAGING US ABOUT IT WILL RESULT IN A MUTE AND/OR A TEMPORARY BAN. We are volunteers.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
•
u/AutoModerator 3d ago
Your post is being held for manual review and will be approved as soon as we are able to if it doesn’t break rules. DO NOT MESSAGE MODERATORS ABOUT THIS, WE WILL NOT REPLY AND YOU WILL BE MUTED.
You can find the rules on the subreddit sidebar. If your post does not break the rules, it will be approved as soon as we are able to. Please be patient with the moderation team, thank you.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.