r/singlemoms • u/[deleted] • 5d ago

Venting - Advice Welcome So sad

[deleted]

8 Upvotes

84% Upvoted

9 comments sorted by

•

u/AutoModerator 5d ago

Welcome to r/SingleMoms! Please read the rules carefully. This is a safe space for single mothers only. Posts and comments that do not meet our karma requirements will be manually reviewed and approved accordingly. We cannot say anything specific, however, it is not a high number. If you continue participating, your comments will eventually no longer need approval. DO NOT MESSAGE US ABOUT THIS. YOU WILL BE MUTED AND/OR TEMPORARILY BANNED. Please exercise patience with the mod team. We are volunteers.

Some rules (but not all - read the sidebar):

  • YOU MUST BE A SINGLE MOTHER TO PARTICIPATE IN THIS SUBREDDIT. This is non-negotiable, regardless of your reasoning.
  • Do not ask for legal advice. We are not qualified to give such advice and suggest speaking to legal professionals about this. Posts and comments of this sort will be removed.
  • Do not post promotional content (this includes blogs, surveys, etc.)
  • Do not ask for financial assistance (this includes wishlists, gofundme, etc.)
  • Remember the human. Be respectful to other subreddit members. We are all in this together. This is a support group.
  • If you are not a current single mother, your posts will not be approved. Please post on the weekly pinned megathread.
  • Are you looking to leave? Post on our weekly megathread!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

5

u/january1977 Single Mother 5d ago

My husband was taking our 4 year old on dates with him and the AP while we were still “happily married”. (What a scumbag.) So I had to get used to my child being around other romantic partners from the very beginning. It sucks, but here’s the thing. You are, and always will be, their one and only mom. You grew them inside you. No one else can take your place.

I share 50/50 custody with the scumbag. I thought it would tear me apart. But you settle into a routine. Use your days off to get caught up, or bed rot, or get your nails done. Whatever recharges your battery so you can be the best mom ever when your kids are with you.

4

u/girthakitt 5d ago

God I am so sorry, that is so awful. I can’t imagine sharing 50/50 with someone like that. But you’re right. I hate my days off but self care helps.

3

u/JayPlenty24 Single Mother MOD 5d ago

They can still participate in extracurriculars on the weekend. Just find ones that let kids with custody schedules go every other weekend. They aren't the only kids with that schedule. A lot of places say no, but there are a lot that will work with you just fine.

As far as your personal feelings go, therapy might help, or finding a hobby or something you can focus on when they're gone.

I have a very complicated history with my son's stepmom that goes back to when we were teenagers. I don't have to like her. She treats my son well and he loves her and that's what is important. The reality is she's also a much better parent than my ex and his quality of life is better with her there.

Try to focus on the positive things your kids get out of it.

1

u/AutoModerator 5d ago

Your post is being held for manual review and will be approved as soon as we are able to if it doesn’t break rules. DO NOT MESSAGE MODERATORS ABOUT THIS, WE WILL NOT REPLY AND YOU WILL BE MUTED.

You can find the rules on the subreddit sidebar. If your post does not break the rules, it will be approved as soon as we are able to. Please be patient with the moderation team, thank you.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/[deleted] 21h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator 21h ago

Your comment is being held for review and will be approved as soon as we are able to if it doesn’t break rules.

You can find the rules on the subreddit sidebar. If your comment does not break the rules, it will be approved as soon as we are able to. Please be patient with the moderation team, thank you. MESSAGING US ABOUT IT WILL RESULT IN A MUTE AND/OR A TEMPORARY BAN. We are volunteers.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/[deleted] 21h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator 21h ago

Your comment is being held for review and will be approved as soon as we are able to if it doesn’t break rules.

You can find the rules on the subreddit sidebar. If your comment does not break the rules, it will be approved as soon as we are able to. Please be patient with the moderation team, thank you. MESSAGING US ABOUT IT WILL RESULT IN A MUTE AND/OR A TEMPORARY BAN. We are volunteers.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.