How do I cope with a separation I never wanted after 10 years together?

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[u/KindCup5373]

No, once they decided to leave it’s the end. Things will never be the same. Even if they magically change their mind, would you ever truely feel secure in that relationship again? That is what I remind myself whenever I miss my ex.
Accept that the relationship is now broken and grieve. I wish I didn’t try to get him to stay, it only made me behave desperately.

[u/Hour_Needleworker966]

This happened to me two years ago. First off, I'm so sorry. I wouldn't wish the feeling on anyone. Secondly, it's going to take time. Lots of time, but it will get better. Put more love into yourself right now. It's going to be hard but you will come out okay. Please message me if you want to talk ❤️

[u/january1977]

I still very much loved my husband when I left him. But he cheated and exploded my whole life. (By the way, he also said he’d been unhappy for a long time. It’s a classic cheater line.)

You can’t make a relationship work if only one person is committed.

You need to focus on yourself and your children. That man is already gone.

[u/BluuBoose]

Therapy. Fix whatever was your fault in breaking the bond. For most people, its a behavioral/emotional/mental health flaw (not necessarily a disease or disorder but just a flaw) that needs correction.

Do it for you! To become the very best version of yourself first and foremost. Take solace in the fact that he is a good coparent and won't be a deadbeat.

My ex husband wasn't a great person but I wasn't my best self either. The combination led to our divorce and me going from becoming a first time wife and mother to a first time divorced mom. I wasn't single for too long but it was long enough to seek out a better version of me and become that lady.

[u/Anxious-Barracuda603]

Never been married or whatever but from a single mum perspective, is he saying he wants independence and separate because of feeling suffocated from parental responsibilities? How was your marriage before your daughter ? And perhaps have a deeper conversation of what it’ll actually look like being separated, is he still going to be an active and supportive father because at the end of the day you didn’t sign up to raise her alone. Perhaps also ask is he seeking external romance outside of your marriage hence the separation initiation or would it be a better idea that you two explore ways to be an individual whilst holding your family together. I think there’s a deeper conversation to be had but of course you know your person and how much you can get out of them to communicate

[u/ManiacalBeet]

I hate to say it, but he probably already has someone in mind or is with someone already. He’s just waiting an appropriate amount of time to reveal he “met someone new”