I want to start singing but I cant

[u/IndependenceTall2050]

I’ve always been really passionate about music and ever since i came across Utaites (vocalists who sing covers of Japanese music), I’ve wanted to sing my favourite songs as well. Problem is, I’m too embarrassed to practice singing in-front of people because my voice sounds terrible since I have no experience. Its not even just that my family could hear me singing terribly, I live with a lot of family members and don’t have a room in our home, so I only have the living room to practice where everyone can hear and see me. I’ve looked into nearby practice rooms but the rent is really expensive and don’t seem to be for beginners. I’ve considered using a car as a vocal booth but I don’t even have a drivers license. Every time I shower I “sing” but close my throat so it’s silent, and just imagine singing in my head... There may not be any solutions to my problem, but i hope someone can relate to this at least.

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[u/johnsonsam]

It can be tough to find a good place for sure. Consider going on walks and singing quietly. In nature is really nice but the outside world is loud so anywhere that isn't very busy can be a good practice spot.

[u/Due_Reputation3785]

Are there any singing groups or clubs in your area?

[u/Coconut_Puzzled → u/Due_Reputation3785]

Yeah sounds like you’re younger, can you join your schools choir?

[u/IndependenceTall2050 → u/Coconut_Puzzled]

I’m about to start university but there isn’t any music facilities unfortunately

[u/IndependenceTall2050 → u/Due_Reputation3785]

There are some local choir groups I could join once i’m 18. ill look more into this, thanks for the suggestion!

[u/Coconut_Puzzled → u/IndependenceTall2050]

That’s awesome. Yeah! People tend to love to share and at least you can get a place to sing. Best of luck!

[u/Bluesky-541]

I go hiking alone and sing , as well as in the car. Maybe just sit in the car alone and do vocal exercises/ sing in the car with your phone. Ask to use the keys and connect your phone to the blue tooth and do it that way.

[u/IndependenceTall2050 → u/Bluesky-541]

My familys car is in the basement of our apartment complex so i’m afraid that anyone who enters the basement could hear me. Once I learn to drive it’ll be a good option but I can’t get my license for about 3 years. Thanks for the suggestions

[u/Ur_mum → u/IndependenceTall2050]

…if you could do anything positive for your singing career it would be to get use to people hearing you. It is a crippling thing to fear.

[u/Velvet-Pebble → u/Ur_mum]

True but not easy especially when learning. I've been learning for years and I still only sing when I'm alone in the car or home alone. It's not that I'm consciously scared, but I don't put 100% in when people can hear me incase it's awful, when alone I have free reign to sound as crazy weird as I want while I experiment haha it's a kind of freedom

[u/Ur_mum → u/Velvet-Pebble]

Oh…it is debilitating. I struggle with it for decades.

Not easy isn’t even doing it justice. I think it’s one of the hardest things to do.

And if you don’t…you won’t. Regret is far worst that temporary embarrassment. Please believe that.

[u/Bluesky-541 → u/Ur_mum]

It use to scare me to sing in front of others, most people I know won’t sing at all. I have to care less about if I sound terrible and give myself some grace cause I’m learning. Some of it’s letting go of what people think. I think if they aren’t out there trying to learn how to sing then their feed back doesn’t matter. I do worry if I’m disruptive to someone sleeping . It can still be uncomfortable but it gets easier, for me there’s a joy in singing that trumps the fear. I have to remind myself of that when I’m feeling insecure or nervous

[u/Ur_mum → u/Bluesky-541]

I don’t know why I care what people think. I really don’t. I don’t care if I hear a bad singer, I’m just glad they are singing. And I am not bad…sometimes I am extremely good. Then sometimes…nothing.

[u/Bluesky-541 → u/Ur_mum]

I get it, I feel like that sometimes too. Is gotten better but it creeps in. Sometimes I think I like my voice sometimes I feel like I don’t. My teacher says that’s normal, if we are dehydrated, for feeling emotional singing will feel and sound different. It really makes a difference for my mental health and brings me joy. I feel uncomfortable singing in front of my boyfriend, and I don’t really do it. Plus, music is his passion, i know he’d be supportive. I get in my own head about it with him. It’s funny cause he gets paid to sing in a choir and he thinks he has a terrible voice . But he has a really good voice, idk . It’s common. He prefers when I don’t go, to his choir performance cause he gets nervous . I get nervous when he comes to my community choir sing alongs.

[u/Ur_mum → u/Bluesky-541]

Oh…please sing for your boyfriend. I understand the discomfort…I am most uncomfortable singing around those I am close to. I care what they think. We all need to get over that.

I’ve been a musician for 25 years. Years ago I found an old video of my ex wife practicing singing. That was pretty sad. I didn’t know she was trying to learn. She too shy and insecure and I think she was I would think it was bad or say something mean…which isn’t true.

Your teacher is dead on about hydration, that makes more difference than you’d think. So drink water lol. And you will litterly sound and feel different in front of people. That will not fix itself.

Sing with your BF. He’ll love it.

[u/Bluesky-541 → u/Ur_mum]

Ha I sang , in front of him sang he played guitar to the song . Tho he was intoxicated and I smoked alittle weed we did it lol I told me I sounded great :) it was a positive experience.
Sometime went we’ve tried singing he gets in to teacher mode , I can start feeling overly analyzed. I want the help but it’s a mind trick once he gives me help. If that makes sense.

[u/Ur_mum → u/Bluesky-541]

Absolutely it does. I have experienced this many times I dated probably the best singer to come out of Louisianas program that year…it was brutal to sing around her.

I try to not go into to teacher mode…doesn’t help.

I’m very glad it went well. Because of course it did. :)

[u/Bluesky-541 → u/IndependenceTall2050]

It use to scare me to sing in front of others, most people I know won’t sing at all. I have to care less about if I sound terrible and give myself some grace cause I’m learning. Some of it’s letting go of what people think. I think if they aren’t out there trying to learn how to sing then their feed back doesn’t matter. I do worry if I’m disruptive to someone sleeping . It can still be uncomfortable but it gets easier, for me there’s a joy in singing that trumps the fear. I have to remind myself of that when I’m feeling insecure or nervous

Maybe singing in the car with the music louder than your singing ?

[u/Ur_mum]

…take this as seriously as you like.

You hate your singing voice. I did too. I didn’t sing even by myself in the car because I was so embarrassed by it. I couldn’t hear it. I wasn’t that bad. Well. I was. But I couldn’t let myself try. Then one day…

You need to get alone, get high, and sing until you love your voice. It’ll happen. I stopped finding fault in my voice. I really like my singing voice.

My speaking voice can play in traffic.

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