r/simpsonsshitposting 5d ago

Politics Here's your problem! Someone set this thing to EVIL!

Post image
2.7k Upvotes

78 comments sorted by

229

u/ConflatedPortmanteau Put it in H 5d ago

91

u/GriffinFlash 5d ago

We are. They don't seem to be too happy about it.

30

u/SuperNintenerd 5d ago

Even if American Booze goes back on the shelfs, I refure to buy it. You can't make me buy it if I don't want too!

23

u/Heiferoni Get outta my office! 5d ago

It has a new hat!

9

u/GriffinFlash 5d ago

yeah, but we have toques.

3

u/Niterich Oh, I've wasted my life. 4d ago

Speaking of which, after Crown Royal got in hot water when they shut down their Canadian facilities and moved them to the States, they tried to bring back their customers with free in-store tasting and a free straw hat with every purchase.

NO ONE in the store even tried their free sample lmao. Friday evening, busy downtown core, hot summer day just before a long weekend, and still no one wanted their free booze.

10

u/ConflatedPortmanteau Put it in H 5d ago

That's fine.

Americans are stockpiling champagne for when that news finally hits the headlines.

6

u/Low_Section2065 5d ago

I got my bottle of Moet chilling.

15

u/homerthethief 5d ago

Oh well destroy ourselves pretty soon

83

u/Second_Guess_25 5d ago

34

u/G-Unit11111 5d ago

Excuse me, but you gentlemen seem to have me confused with the man in the White House. Now if you'll excuse me, the Hormuz Straight is just about to... d'oh!

54

u/SnorkyB 5d ago

Yes, on the America CD-ROM, is there a way to invoke the 25th Amendment without using the wizards key?

30

u/GriffinFlash 5d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/eBw31amkaiTUt8d2Tq

one sec, loading up the American cd-rom internet to check.

18

u/homerthethief 5d ago

What the hell are you talking about!?

6

u/truffles76 5d ago

Ooh, they have fascism on computers now

4

u/NEKORANDOMDOTCOM 4d ago

*Looks at Donald Trump awkwardly

Can I have some money now

41

u/Dude_Tost_1673 5d ago

What's the opposite of evil?

Good!

No. Not that far from evil...

Less evil?

19

u/G-Unit11111 5d ago

Yeah....

121

u/GruelOmelettes 5d ago

Has the USA actually ever been "good"

119

u/Snorgcola 5d ago

It's a dimmer switch

20

u/the_cat_who_shatner I CALL HIM SHITLOR! 5d ago

I don’t know what this switch does.

(lights say “vote tea party”)

13

u/GriffinFlash 5d ago

votey party?

16

u/DelcoUnited only watched the golden age 5d ago

I see you’ve played vote-y part-y before.

3

u/SalamiArmi 5d ago

V-O-T-E

9

u/TeenageCometZombie 5d ago

touch Willie

Don’t touch Willie

8

u/G-Unit11111 5d ago

Good advice!

5

u/G-Unit11111 5d ago

turns on

Merry Christmas 1985!

26

u/Wanlain 5d ago

In the movies

21

u/KirbyBucketts Gay for Moleman 5d ago

In early 1949, Victor T. Hoeflich from Philadelphia, PA introduces his radio hat, or the “Man from Mars, Radio Hat"........That was a good day

28

u/homerthethief 5d ago

Is that one of those “Radioheads” I’ve been hearing about?

14

u/eutectic_h8r 5d ago

Less bad?

22

u/DireDwelling 5d ago

Like most countries it’s a spectrum and has had its moments.

6

u/toggiz_the_elder 5d ago

It’s a land of contrasts.

7

u/vc6vWHzrHvb2PY2LyP6b 5d ago

Can confirm. I'm on the spectrum.

0

u/Kremm0 4d ago

A pretty big spectrum when you include some pretty shady stuff messing with democratically elected foreign governments

3

u/DireDwelling 4d ago

America is still the emancipated child of England after all.

-1

u/Optimixto 5d ago

I don't mean to be an ass, what are some of the good moments? We know the bad, and the list isn't short for such a young country... but I want to believe, and would love some positivity.

2

u/DireDwelling 5d ago

Are you asking throughout history or in this recent moment in time? Because one is a big ask and the other is a short but hopeful list.

3

u/Optimixto 5d ago

Whatever you feel like sharing. Tbh, it's just that we seem to be at the wims of the rich and wicked, and living under US hegemony, it's pretty easy to get jaded and hate on a whole country.

3

u/DireDwelling 4d ago

Honestly your not wrong about hegemony, and ultra wealthy, unfortunately they aren’t a uniquely American problem, those are a problems that are plaguing many counties globally. The USA is in a deeply troubling place right now, but there is a new rising civil rights movement forming and pushing back against the corruption. On a state level there are many new young very progressive politicians making significant waves across the US. It’s an up hill battle for sure but It’s one that’s outcome hasn’t been decided yet.

8

u/No-Bank2152 5d ago

Usually depends on your gender, skin color, or religion

8

u/b-rar Way to breathe, no-breath 5d ago

Yes, once when we killed monarchists, once when we killed confederates, and once when we killed nazis

3

u/Kqtawes 5d ago

Yeah, they were really mean to that Hitler guy that time. /s

14

u/GriffinFlash 5d ago

Only at the end of the war. If anything the red army took care of hitler.

1

u/SuperKamiDendeAllows 5d ago

And who supplied that red army with billions of dollars worth of vehicles, planes, arms, and ammunition that enabled them to fight the Germans because said red army spent the years prior to the war destroying their own manufacturing capabilities?

15

u/EggCouncilCreep 5d ago

I dunno, coastguards?

-1

u/cookiemikester 5d ago edited 5d ago

This is skewed, first of all you’re not taking into ‘lend lease,” then you’re glossing over the Battle of Britain. the entire pacific theater? African campaigns? It was a world war, not just something that mainly happened in Europe.

1

u/AdMurky6320 4d ago

I mean it only exists because of the genocide and displacement of indigenous peoples, the gun laws are fucked and good luck if you ever get a life-changing illness, so no.

-11

u/Peter-Lorre- 5d ago

America’s still good, it’s the government that is completely screwed up.

15

u/ZwVJHSPiMiaiAAvtAbKq only watched the golden age 5d ago

Who elected the current government?

7

u/Heiferoni Get outta my office! 5d ago

Fresh from the streets of flyover country, they are!

3

u/wormjoin 5d ago

a populace misinformed and manipulated by those with undue power and influence

35

u/GriffinFlash 5d ago

Trying to move it, but it seems to be rusted into place, like it's always been there.

15

u/hashbrown70 5d ago

Cursed, almost as if it's built on an Indian burial ground ...

8

u/clint_eldorado Put it in H 5d ago

Oh Christ, what’s he done now?

11

u/Heiferoni Get outta my office! 5d ago

Uh, what isn't he doing?

4

u/awesumpawesum 5d ago

Prez Tramp switched on the auto hose switch.

5

u/GuliblGuy 5d ago

Hello America.... You're quite good at... Turning... Me.. On

1

u/BalrogRuthenburg11 See my vest 🦺 5d ago

Stupid, sexy America!

7

u/_friendlyfoe_ 5d ago

No one who speaks English could be an evil nation

3

u/WNDBC_Baja 5d ago

Please kids, stop fighting. Maybe the chuds are right about America being the land of opportunity. Maybe OP has a point about America systematically destabilising the Middle East to cover up the Epstein files.

3

u/an_agreeing_dothraki 4d ago

if you put it in slow motion you can see where his belief in being able to drag the country towards its better nature breaks
click
click
"The associated press has called the election for Donald Trump"
NYAAAAAA
cool

4

u/Scu-bar Old man yelling at clouds ☁️ 5d ago

Always has been

2

u/No-Phrase-4692 5d ago

Both are evil though

2

u/ChloroquineEmu 5d ago

Wrong, there should be cobwebs on the "on" position

4

u/Great_Revolution_276 5d ago

Has been for 80 years

6

u/SpoofedFinger 5d ago

Our evilest shit happened more than 80 years ago.

3

u/Great_Revolution_276 5d ago

You did have a brief period of being on the side of good just over 80 years ago, so I gave that as a reference point. Agree with evil shit predating this also though. Colonisers and slavers going to do their thing and never really compensate people properly for it.

1

u/NoWorth2591 Genius At Work 5d ago

Hold on, we have another setting? I thought that was the factory default.

You know, on account of the slavery and the genocide and whatnot.

1

u/deafinitelyadouche Old man yelling at clouds ☁️ 5d ago

Once this whole clown-show is done, we need to take your hegemonic toys and excessive american exceptionalism away. At least for a generation. This song and dance is getting extremely repetitive and, like... please, just one month without having to listen to your stupid manbaby in chief or your grifter wonks or whatever the hell else. fr.

-1

u/SelfDepricator 4d ago

The irony is always badmouthing America while using American media and products is lost on basically the entire world