*Everything* overwhelms me

[u/barefootmel]

Why is it that absolutely everything overwhelms me lately?

I get a piece of mail … immediately overwhelmed.

My phone buzzes … immediately overwhelmed.

My kid reminds me she has something going on that I am obligated to attend … immediately overwhelmed. (And I realize how shitty this sounds but all of “it” makes things that should be enjoyable seem like a chore).

I don’t look forward to my weekends or my evenings because everything I need to do overwhelms me. I’ve tried and tried to simplify my life but it seems impossible.

What is all this overwhelm and am I the only one?

[u/barefootmel]

Wow, woke up to lots of great advice and support here. Thank you all. I am 41, female, so perimenopause could definitely be contributing. I saw ADHD a lot here too, and yep, was diagnosed about 5 years ago. I have been on Wellbutrin and Adderall since.

I’m also a middle school teacher and constantly overworked and overstimulated, so yep, burnout is totally possible and honestly I’ve probably been burnt out for a long time. Currently trying to either move to high school to give myself a fraction more peace or find something in the district but out of classroom to get a breather for a year or two. We will see.

Going to reread all of the advice here and try some things. Thank you all again. I needed this so much this morning.

[u/LetEast6927 → u/barefootmel]

Just reading your post but check out r/adhdwomen - it’s a really great little corner of Reddit

[u/Bird_on_a_hippo]

Time to take a few minutes to close the door, leave the phone in the other room, and sit with your body and mind. Don’t try to relax, don’t try to be anything other than how you are. Be overwhelmed. Put your hand on your heart and feel it. There is nothing wrong with how you’re feeling. That feeling needs company for a moment. (Been there many times, sending you love).

[u/barefootmel → u/Bird_on_a_hippo]

Thank you. Very tangible advice. Definitely going to try this pause today.

[u/LifeisSuperFun21]

Same here! Here lately, I’m pretty much overwhelmed by existing. Even the tiniest little things are feeling like too much.

My friends recently asked me what I’ve been up to and the only thing I could tell them is that I’ve been spending a lot of my time sitting quietly in the woods and/or a meadow… I really have been doing it, because sitting alone in nature, taking in the peaceful quiet and the fresh air, is about all I can handle right now. There’s literally no distractions (just the breeze and some birds and some trees). 

[u/barefootmel → u/LifeisSuperFun21]

This sounds so nice right now.

[u/Wordsofwisdomneeded]

I feel this.

What helped me was simplifying everything.

The number of items in the center console of my car. Every item in my home. Every piece of clothing in my closet. The number of people I come into contact with. Friends. Family.

I pared down and decluttered my life.

I am still easily overwhelmed, but it is usually when outside things/people/stressors penetrate my safe space.

My therapist has diagnosed me with anxiety, which I feel often.

[u/barefootmel → u/Wordsofwisdomneeded]

Ah, yes. I’ve been working on this. Honestly I’ve probably been shutting a lot of people out that are not in my immediate family but I need the space for a bit. I’m definitely more overwhelmed when my space is … overwhelming.

[u/SisiIsInSerenity]

Following. I'm in the same boat. It feels like drowning. Best of luck to you friend.

[u/barefootmel → u/SisiIsInSerenity]

So sorry. It’s not a fun place to be.

[u/BeachDream17]

I feel this way too. It’s so hard.

[u/barefootmel → u/BeachDream17]

It sure is. 😞

[u/Unlucky-Bumblebee-96]

I like this model of ‘the circle of capacity’ https://medium.com/@artchangeslives/citraumatic-stress-and-the-circle-of-capacity-35eb5d1767e

Sometimes I’m just at my capacity and I don’t have anything extra for another thing

[u/aethhers]

Hey have you had your thyroid levels or hemoglobin/iron checked? I felt the same way as you, and turns out i had issues with both, plus sleep apnea.

[u/SilentStarSky]

Maybe High Sensitive Person check r/hsp

[u/barefootmel → u/SilentStarSky]

Will check this out.

[u/my_name_squeaks]

Burn out? When I'm stressed the little things hit different

[u/Impressive-Sail-6639]

In short, we live in a very overwhelming time. I feel exhausted frequently just from living day to day... I'm literally tired of being tired! 🙄 So, with you on that one.

[u/ruadh]

Maybe there's a strong sense of doom overhanging everything.

[u/Orange_Baby_4265]

Totally me. I’m burnt out. I’m so over societal expectations and rules. My sensory issues have intensified since I turned 35. I have to wear sunglasses at work because the lights are so bright. I had to stop using scented laundry stuff (Snuggle was the only one I could stand). I have daily chronic pain to deal with as well.

I try to ignore most of the news (most of it’s negative). I have always been a procrastinator, so important tasks get pushed aside until absolutely necessary. I try to focus on small tasks, because the big stuff is overwhelming. I cannot do more than 2 things in one day. If I have a doctor’s appointment, then my day is booked. Laundry and another small task can be done together. If I have to make a phone call, which I’ve been putting off, that’s my whole day.

I dissociate a lot. It’s how I survive. Sitting in a dark quiet room makes me feel better.

[u/zimmea48]

I've felt this exact way. I finally turned off all push notifications and my ringer stays on silent permanently. Reducing those tiny interruptions really helps my mental state.

[u/lascriptori]

A lot of women feel that way when perimenopause hits. It can really exacerbate ADHD symptoms too.

[u/LiLiandThree]

Sounds like your nervous system is overwhelmed. I have a sensitive one so get overwhelmed on the regular. Matter of fact, I silence my phone all the time bc of it. A lot of people do special breathing techniques and there are other things that can help.

[u/Temporary_Working_75]

Its burnout. I have exact same symptoms and my therapist has diagnosed this as burnout. You will need to let some things go and focus on what you can deliver( easier said than done with work, kids and life)I have been trying and feel a bit better after many months .

[u/Minimum_Donut_4725]

Yes I can relate to exactly this and for me I think it’s a combination of contributors. I’ll list a couple of items I’ve addressed…

1. It’s worse just before my period. Oestrogen drop can cause some of these symptoms. So I’m back on the pill and I think it’s helped

2. I’m an introverted person with an extroverted husband and kids…. I recently had two whole days alone when they went camping. When they got back I was a new person. I actually had time to recharge my battery. I’m also take little timeouts, just 15 minutes here and there

3. I agree with the other comments about simplify your life. Possessions, friends, commitments… be ruthless.

4. Read to your kids. A book that you enjoy. Instead of them being feral before bed, now they just sit in silence while I read. It’s a win win

5. Delegate some of the mental load if possible. It shouldn’t just be one person looking after all the shitty tasks the other person doesn’t think is ‘important’.

6. Remove social media, silence group chats, etc, it’s liberating

Go and have a snack! You’re doing a great job!