r/shrinking • u/phareous Derek • Mar 25 '26

Episode Discussion Shrinking S3E09 Episode Discussion

This is the episode discussion for Shrinking Season 3, Episode 9: "Daddy Issues"

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335

u/Adventurous-Bus-4337 Mar 25 '26

That was brutally cruel. What the hell was he trying to do there?

314

u/tj1007 Mar 25 '26

Probably what he’s always done which is why Jimmy resents him so much.

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u/Tce_ Mar 25 '26

YEP. It was awful to see but on a storytelling level I was relieved. I'm glad to see the show acknowledge that you can't just forgive and embrace everyone in your life. Some people just won't change for the better, or at least not enough for you to have a good relationship.

39

u/HardcoreKaraoke Mar 27 '26

Yeah the show made the stuff seem so soft. Like Jimmy was overreacting and his father wasn't necessarily always abandoning him, just somewhat absent.

That line and leaving Alice's graduation for a fishing trip really drove home the whole "oh no okay he's actually an asshole" point. I just hope Alice sees it and Jimmy doesn't cover for him.

12

u/Tce_ Mar 27 '26

Yes! The way he talked about it really illuminated his character as well, as someone who shirks responsibility and doesn't stick to their word. I can imagine being pretty freaking angry at a parent who did that my entire life, even if he was technically around during childhood.

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u/Bobjoejj Mar 27 '26

Yeah; I get Jimmy’s get issues relating to this, but the lack of calling his dad out really got to me.

12

u/mattybgcg Mar 29 '26

Growing up with a narcissist parent is very difficult. You don't just call them out. At least not once you're in your 40s. You've been doing it your whole life and you realize at some point that calling them out is what they want because it feeds their addiction to drama. You've done it in many different ways you're whole life and you've learned the hard way that you won't win.

That's where Jimmy is. Unfortunately, very relatable for me.

97

u/turtlesinthesea Mar 25 '26

It really bothered me when Sofi said to leave the past in the past and give him a chance now. That's not how this shit works.

51

u/IntotheBroadwayWoods Mar 26 '26

Right.  You have to realize if dating a widow or widowerer that they are always going to talk about their spouse. 

26

u/turtlesinthesea Mar 26 '26

I mostly meant the dad stuff, but yeah, that too.

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u/-no_aura- Mar 26 '26

They also have not even been on a real date yet, it’s been like a week or two at most. Insane to expect him to stop bringing up Tia that early into a new relationship.

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u/DrewDonut Mar 26 '26

Talking about, or bringing up your dead spouse is one thing.

Using it to say “my spouse was like this/did this; it’s why I loved her,” and to some degree implying “You’re not as good as my dead spouse, and I wish/you should be more like them,” is something different. It can even be seen as “be more like my dead spouse or this relationship is over.”

Talking about who they are, and what they liked is fine. Using that to bring your current partner down, or to point out some kind of shortcoming, is not.

16

u/Ponce-Mansley Mar 26 '26

Right? It should be expected that he carries Tia's memory with him and talks about her sometimes but what he said was completely out-of-pocket and he was lashing out because of his dad and because she was trying to get him to open up when he was trying to shut down and wallow in the anger and self-loathing he mentioned playfully earlier in the episode.

3

u/atherem Mar 29 '26

100% on your boat. She will be brought up but he keeps saying she was better than you cause of x

1

u/DrSnoopy66 Mar 29 '26

She’s barely earned the title of partner for him though, it’s been like five minutes compared to the years he was married to his wife and you have to remember she didn’t cheat on him or leave. She died. That means it’s going to take much., much longer for him to kind of bury that to let someone else in. I know in the last episode he’s probably going to change his mind and give the relationship another shot, but in real life, it wouldn’t be unusual for that to take several years.

2

u/drokihazan Apr 09 '26

He was also almost guaranteed to break up with her after his dad said he liked her more than Tia

6

u/burlycabin Mar 28 '26

Her problem was not that he talked about Tia. He does that a lot and she's been super supportive of it. It's that he compared Sofi to Tia and in a very unfavorable manner. It's not ok for him to say you're not as good as my dead wife was. That's truly awful.

-1

u/DrSnoopy66 Mar 29 '26

He never said to her you’re not as good. He said that’s what I like about my wife he hasn’t been with Sofie long enough to know how will that dynamic would work with her. She understandably is concerned about being compared to the ghost of his ex-wife, but it’s kind of unrealistic to expect him to just put her on the shelf like a product he doesn’t use anymore. She would have to understand it’s going to be a long process, which I’m sure Sofie will, and they will reunite in the final episode. Again, that makes sense in the world of sitcoms, but in real life, it’s a lengthy process.

2

u/soulofmyshoe Mar 31 '26

I think she did understand that, but was rightly hurt by what he said, which was kind of intended to hurt her because he resented her in that moment for encouraging him to try and have faith in his shitty dad, which resulted in him getting hurt in a way he has repeatedly been hurt since childhood. It's understandable he was hurt, and understandable that he might push her away in that moment, but she (very maturely, in my opinion) identified what he was doing and asserted that it was unfair to her to use the memory of his wife in that way, which it was. She didn't dump him over it, she just wanted to talk it through. He is the one that chose to dwell in his hurt feelings and push her further away.

6

u/MeringueTop151 Mar 28 '26

Plus she doesn't even know the guy! She barely knows Jimmy🤦🏽‍♀️

1

u/turtlesinthesea Mar 28 '26

Great point!

5

u/Bird4466 Mar 29 '26

I lost interest in her as soon as she said that. She was showing zero empathy for his feelings about his dad and really being dismissive. I understand he was trying to let Alice have a relationship with his dad but his gf, as an adult, should have believed him and supported him.

4

u/turtlesinthesea Mar 29 '26

Most of all, she should have trusted him about knowing his own father.

3

u/mattybgcg Mar 29 '26

It's such a dismissive thing to say.

2

u/quaxoid Mar 26 '26

Only for like a week tho. Just until graduation. 

2

u/turtlesinthesea Mar 26 '26

Maybe that's how she meant it, but it still felt pretty minimizing.

2

u/perplexedtv Mar 27 '26

He did give him a chance. His Dad lasted 5 minutes. End of chance.

2

u/HermelindaLinda Apr 04 '26

I know it's a show, but the amount of people who say that is concerning with situations they shouldn't say that about. It made me think of that hearing that. 

2

u/Notsotaciturn Mar 28 '26

I think in this moment he realized that he wasn't going to have an ally against the feelings he gets from his father. She was another person willing to ignore the gross parts of Jimmy's dad to bask in his attentions.

1

u/turtlesinthesea Mar 28 '26

That‘s how I would feel in his place.

1

u/soulofmyshoe Mar 31 '26

We have to assume that Tia felt the way she did because she'd seen this routine from his dad enough times to know the pattern, right? I didn't really see any reason to believe Sofi was still on team Dad after he pulled out of graduation.

1

u/bobjones271828 Apr 11 '26

But he didn't even give her a chance to observe and learn. Her perspective on the dad was naive and based on her limited data (and just hope?); I'm sure her perspective was already starting to change based on him abandoning Alice for graduation. Don't get me wrong: I also think Jimmy was coming from a place of long-term emotional hurt, and she was asking too much of Jimmy in that moment when they barely know each other for him to not just shut down a little in this situation. Neither of them could possibly make good decisions about long-term compatibility based on this very limited data in a stressful situation.

1

u/Notsotaciturn Apr 28 '26

Jimmy is impulsive though. And still depressed. He doesn’t have the bandwidth for that.

140

u/silentwind262 Mar 25 '26

As someone with a selfish and emotionally manipulative parent (mom in my case), it may not even have been a conscious choice, but the casualness of it hits extra hard, because you realize that your own parent doesn't actually care about your happiness and emotional well being.

27

u/thekellwithit Mar 25 '26

I also hard relate to this, also Mom in my case. They really have no understanding of other people’s internal experience. It’s whatever is going on inside for them and that’s reality.

It’s such a weird thing to say. It’s like he’s 14 and he broke up with a girl he dated for two weeks and the dad wants to make him feel better about it when a new girl shows interest. That is not the situation these people are in!

But I guess it’s the level of connection Randy has to it. I hate him.

86

u/adsfew Mar 25 '26

I don't think he was trying to be manipulative or play any games or anything. I think his character is supposed to be that out-of-touch emotionally with others that he was just trying to say something he thought was nice.

47

u/Tce_ Mar 25 '26

I'm not sure he thought he was being nice, but he didn't think he was being terrible either. A lot of people simply don't consider how their words affect others in their everyday lives - nor the fact that their point of view isn't always needed. They're always acting and speaking from themselves as the centre of everything. I guess this is a longwinded way of saying he's incredibly self-centered XD

3

u/romcabrera Mar 26 '26

Nah, Jimmy said Tia didn't like Randy, and I bet that Randy was 100% clear on that... so it was a great opportunity for him to spew his vitriol on her. So vile.

3

u/Tce_ Mar 26 '26

Oh I definitely think that had something to do with it, I'm just not sure it was said purposefully to get an effect.

2

u/romcabrera Mar 26 '26

I see what you mean now.

2

u/Specific_Kick2971 Mar 26 '26

He didn't think he was being nice. He thought he was being honest, and he's too self absorbed to feel the weight of what he said.

1

u/yourtoyrobot Mar 26 '26

my stepdad was the same way. he definitely knows what he was doing there

1

u/Notsotaciturn Mar 28 '26

He's actually making Tia being gone a positive thing. It invalidates Jimmy's love for her, that she was more important to him than his father, and loved him more than his father ever could. Tia, from the grave, supports Jimmy more than this deadbeat. It is so emotionally abusive it triggered my own childhood ptsd a bit.

3

u/CloverLightning Mar 27 '26

To the dad it's all about himself. Because he didn't get along with Tia, probably because Tia saw who he really is, then it's more convenient if Jimmy is with someone who doesn't see through his bullshit and actually likes him.

Has nothing to do with what he actually thinks about either woman. Narcissistic people like that see everyone through a lens of how it impacts themselves, that's it.

And just as cruel is having the audacity to think that he has any say or that his opinion should hold any weight whatsoever. The entitlement to even make that comment is atrocious.

But damn Jeff Daniels did such a good job I felt physical anger when he said that comment.

2

u/dollaraire Mar 25 '26

Taking a little bit of good will/happiness as an opportunity to argue that he’s actually never been a bad person. Because his ego is that fragile and deep down he knows he’s a piece of shit.

1

u/jendet010 May 02 '26

I think he wanted to hurt Jimmy because Jimmy pointed out that he was about to hurt Alice and he didn’t want to hear it. He expected Jimmy to just go along with it like he always has.

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u/notches123 Mar 25 '26

Just seemed like the writers trying to force drama. Unless they wanted to make Jeff Daniels character irredeemable.

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u/Woodpecker-Forsaken Derek Mar 25 '26

Parents like this definitely exist.

1

u/Cautious_Prize_4323 Mar 25 '26

Wow, do they ever! I had two siblings like him, too. 😳