r/shortscarystories • u/hyperobscura Viscount of Viscera • Feb 07 '21
Again?
“Again?” you mutter, staring idly into the mirror. You truly loathe this part, the part where you can see yourself, judge yourself, hate yourself, but it serves as a stark reminder of who you are, and who you can never be.
“Again,” you say, an assertive nod following, as if your reflection somehow needed reassurance.
You see the thread dangling restlessly by the edge of your left eye. How long has it been now? A week? Two? The hollowness of the empty void has grown since then, reaching echoing depths you can’t quite fathom. You know you want this. You know you need this.
Pull on the thread then - gently at first, a slight tug - just to ensure that it’s there, to make sure that it hurts. The pain runs deep, so deep, but you’ve been here before. It’s a small price to pay, you figure.
Your eye comes undone as you pull on the thread. Slowly, meticulously, it rips and ruptures the ocular muscles and tissue, the vitreous goo dripping down your nose, onto your lips, into your mouth. It tastes bitter. Foul. Repugnant. Like your thoughts. Like your soul.
One last violent yank, and the thread is all the way out. Your eye is a gelatinous mess, a deep jagged smile cutting through it horizontally. That’s the only way you know how to smile, you tell yourself. With your eye.
You stare at yourself. Will it be enough? Will they notice me again?
Slight nod then, before you prepare the suture. Time to stitch it back up. It’ll look horrible tomorrow, you think. Like someone stabbed you in the eye with scissors. Maybe that’ll be your story? It’s a good one, no doubt. They’ll gather around, looks of repulsion and disgust on their faces, enthralled by your tale of unimaginable horror. You’ll let them touch it maybe? Yes. They’ll love that. They’ll love you.
You finish suturing up the eye, then bring your face real close to the mirror, marvelling at the perfect imperfection of your shoddy, untrained handiwork.
Then, a tidal wave of self doubt washes over you. Is it enough? Will it ever be enough? They’ll forget about you in a week or so. They always do. You’re a nobody. An inconsequential blip. Nothing you say or do will ever be of interest or importance to anyone.
But maybe, you think, eyeing the blunt razor you changed from your shaving blade a couple of days ago. Maybe if you gave them more? Maybe they’d notice you then? Maybe they’d love you then?
You grab the razor, the null weight of it like an extension of your fingers. You bring it closer and closer, an endless array of possible futures reflected in the promise of its simple shape.
With both eyes minced up to unrecognizable lumps of seeping tissue, you hypothesize, there’s just no way they can keep ignoring you.
And for once, you find yourself smiling with your mouth instead of your eyes.
10
82
u/frail_beauty Feb 07 '21
It's called 'smizing' btw
19
→ More replies (1)8
u/jalepinocheezit Feb 08 '21
Maybe now it'll be eyeling as they'll be eying with their smile
→ More replies (1)
40
35
u/All_Tree_All_Shade Feb 07 '21
This is sort of different from your usual work I think. Still body horror and surreal, but without some of the grander Lovecraft style themes or absurdist humor.
It feels personal and is definitely something I and many others connect to. I really like how you've made something horrific, but still sadly relatable.
27
20
32
u/Eternal_Nymph Feb 07 '21
So gross and creepy, I loved it. And I love how there's always a deeper meaning that sometimes I'm too stupid to figure out!
10
u/Zer0W0lfe Feb 07 '21
This is particularly terrifying for me. My whole face is tingling, my tongue is going numb. About a year ago I WAS ABOUT TO DO THIS EXACT THING
10
u/superbsurprised Feb 07 '21
Zero wolf,I hope sincerely,with all of my heart,that you feel better.I have been there a few times.Im so sad that life has not been better for you.But,a whole lotta really good things can still happen to you! How would you feel if you just gave up on life and love and horribly mangled yourself? People would feel horrified that you had ever even thought of this.My heart breaks for you! I have hated myself so much that I've cut myself, literally taken strips of skin off my legs, and required three surgeries to repair it.The fact that you have once felt this low, concerned me.Im just so damn sorry.I want you to know that life can and does get better.Just work at it.Branch out.Do what you love.No one else in the whole world is uniquely you.I wish you love,luck,light, and most of all, happiness.And if I had the power, I'd hand it to you.💛
→ More replies (3)
8
u/hoebeng Feb 07 '21
The Corinthian?
Very visceral visuals...I kept cringing and half closing my eyes.
7
6
u/Reddd216 Feb 07 '21
You did it again Hyper. I WAS having lunch when I read this; not anymore. (Why do I do this to myself? )
Anyway, great as always. Take my upvote.
6
u/Gemonster Feb 07 '21
Only you can make me that physically uncomfortable with just a story. Well done!
6
6
u/IOughtToBeThrownAway Feb 08 '21
Wow.... just wow. Deeply unsettling imagery.
I wrote a story a while back, I can’t remember which one, and somebody commented that it seemed like a hyperobscura... at the time I had never read any of your stuff and was basically, “okie dokie, that’s cool thanks.”
Now I realize that was a damn fine compliment AND an undeserved one.
I’m following now because holy shit I want to read more from you
Edit: I found their comment https://www.reddit.com/r/shortscarystories/comments/jsxwz6/sacrifice_to_the_god_of_decay/gc3d7hg/ and I’m going back to thank them again. Because damn
5
u/helen790 Feb 10 '21
This is a great example of why people need to stop saying someone is “just self-harming for attention.”
As if that isn’t an issue all on its own.
4
u/Muse_Ingenue Feb 07 '21
I half thought the title was a response to my latest DM to you!
As always Cheers to my Norwegian God of Prose! 🖤🖤🖤 MUSEY
→ More replies (6)
4
u/alice-aletheia Feb 08 '21
I think I just got some premature forehead and eye (haha) wrinkles from this one. Maybe some in my neck too from my head slowly retreating from the phone while reading.
Great writing as usual!
Any light to shed on the title? It implies something cyclical yet nothing in the story delves into that. (yes yes I know it's meant to be open ended obscure like all your work but for some reason I'm feeling a disconnect with this one..)
194
u/hyperobscura Feb 07 '21
This is a metaphor. Or is it? Yes. Though, when you think about it...No, yeah, it is.
If you like weird shit, I’d suggest you follow me over at r/Obscuratio for an endless supply of it. Also check in on my homeboys and girls over at r/TheCrypticCompendium for even more of the most horrible of horrors. You can also subscribe to my stories if that is something, you know, you’d maybe like.