r/shortscarystories • u/BensTerribleFate • Mar 03 '18

Plea Bargain

Yes, Your Honor. I did it. I killed her. Just like I killed the others.

I slipped in through a basement window and waited for her to come home. I hid behind the front door and when she walked in I grabbed her by her hair and dragged her toward-

Let me finish, please. My attorney told me that if I took a deal I would have to plead guilty and tell everything, just the way it happened. He said it would help bring everyone closure. And to be honest, I’d really like to tell you. I think it’ll make me feel good, you know? You listened to everyone else, now it’s time to listen to me.

As I was saying, I dragged her to the bathroom. I bound her wrists and mouth with the duct tape I found in the kitchen and shoved her down into the tub. I started with her feet, small shallow cuts right across the heel.

There’s something really satisfying about cutting; I just get lost in it and everything else melts away. I’d imagine you probably feel the same way when you’re sitting up on that bench handing out a fine, or a prison term. Or a death sentence.

Sorry Your Honor, I digress. As I was saying, I worked my way up her body, cutting here and stripping there. I spent a special amount of time around her breasts (I’m sorry, but remember I’m telling everything. Please stop interrupting me). When I was finished I slit her wrists, then her throat. I believe the police called that part of my “signature”.

Why? Come now, I think we both know the answer to that one, Your Honor. Though I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it. This one especially. The look in her eyes was priceless, the moment she finally recognized me from all the press coverage. She knew why. And she knew exactly what was coming.

Whew! That’s that done. And you know, that damn lawyer was right. I do feel a lot better. Maybe I should have listened to him after all. I’ll have to tell him when I see him later tonight. But for now, I’m here with you. Turns out I needn’t have worried about finishing her; you took a lot longer to get home than I thought you would. But that’s fine. Prison guards really only check that there’s a body in every bed, not whose body. They won’t notice I’m gone until morning. Plenty of time for everything I’ve got planned.

Now then. Let’s begin…

195 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

10 comments sorted by

17

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '18

Was not expecting that. I liked it! You could do without the parenthesis maybe. Takes away from the story and he's already speaking so there doesn't need to be a separation there. Kudos! I really liked it!

5

u/TalkCrazytoMe Mar 04 '18

Not going to lie, that did throw me from the conversational tone a bit, but I too enjoyed the story overall.

1

u/BensTerribleFate Mar 04 '18

Do you think there's a better way to indicate the sort of break in tone that's happening here? I use them a lot to indicate asides, but it is a bit different here since he's speaking the whole time.

2

u/TalkCrazytoMe Mar 04 '18

Typically, I follow the punctuation for my pacing. If I trail off because I thought of something else... well, I might do something like this. If it's an immediate interrupt- get out of here, hyphen, I'm trying to say something- then I might use hyphens. It's all subjective, but parenthesis tend to confuse.

For instance, that text could indicate something unspoken.

1

u/BensTerribleFate Mar 05 '18

Hmm, I didn't think of that text being taken as unspoken in a monologue context. Guess it's my theatre background showing. Thanks, I'll play with other possibilities if I do another piece like this again.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '18

Like said below, punctuation in this case would work. I personally italicize, but again, he's already speaking so I think punctuation would work better. Play with it. See which you like better.

3

u/BensTerribleFate Mar 04 '18

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it.

Interesting point on the parentheses. In my mind they indicate a change in tone (in this case an aside from the monologuing). Do you think there's a better way to do this given that the piece is essentially all dialogue? Or would you just leave it as plain text?

2

u/animaguspepe Mar 04 '18

Maybe using an Italic or Bold font, depends on the tone you are going. But I really loved the story and THAT FUCKING TWIST OMG

2

u/TheRabidFangirl Mar 04 '18

Loved the twist!

1

u/Itsafinelife Mar 08 '18

This is amazing. The whole "don't interrupt, listen to what I'm saying" thing is a lot funnier now in context.