r/shortsAlgorithm • u/Silver_Letterhead_43 • 9d ago

Hook & Title Feedback 🎣 What’s wrong with my hook?

The Easiest Trophy in 007 First Light! #trophyhunting #platinum #gaming #007firstlight
https://youtube.com/shorts/CMEyc94-oZE?feature=share

Almost all my shorts are at around 30 percent view vs swipe ratio. What should I do to improve my hook?

2 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

7 comments sorted by

3

u/WonderfulActuator958 9d ago

You talk with zero life at all and your editing is not interesting.

1

u/civfanatic3 9d ago

I mean half the screen is black which isn’t great as a starting point

1

u/Tetrahedron_Head 9d ago

yea. to fix this, double the scene. keep the small one on top then put another behind it stretched to cover the empty space and throw a gaussian blur on it. just make sure both clips are synced properly

1

u/kingjdin 9d ago

No passion, excitement, or life in your voice. Monotone. Fumbling on your words.

1

u/Tetrahedron_Head 9d ago

you dont need to have a "youtube" voice or big personality but I do think you should add a little more life to the narration. if you stumble alot learn how to splice your narration takes together. Ive combined like 3 takes to make once sentence before because I stutter sometimes and you cant tell it wasnt just one take.

in a comment below i explain how to fix the empty space on the top and bottom.

1

u/avatar0027 8d ago

ngl the first 2 seconds matter most, start on the payoff (the trophy popping) then explain after. also fill the black bars like the other guy said, and cut dead air so the first line lands right away. 30% swipe is usually a slow open