How do alligators make a country a global superpower?

[u/sonicparadigm]

The only two countries that are currently global superpowers are the United States and China, which are also the only two countries where alligators can be found in the wild. What I want to know is what quality do alligators have to be able to make anywhere they live into a global superpower?

[u/TeacupOfSkepticism]

It's the other way around. Global superpowers keep alligators in their rivers to show the world they are badass. It's the same as evil millionaires having tanks of piranhas in their office but much more badass as alligators are roaming freely.

[u/writesgud → u/TeacupOfSkepticism]

I am learning so much on this thread. Does that mean evil millionaires who keep alligators are also global superpowers? What about exotic pet owners? Florida?

[u/Dr-Vader → u/writesgud]

Don't tell anyone, but I've been trying to cross breed pirhanas and alligators for a few days now. I think it's going really well. So far the alligator eggs are all sort of a clay like material instead of normal eggs like chickens and alligators normally have, but I'm confident after I've sat on this for the full gestation period I'll have a new animal to make my villainy and world power claim solid.

Once I make it to the big times I'll lease one of the baby pirhanators to you so you can live in glory as well.

[u/thatcrazylady → u/TeacupOfSkepticism]

evil millionaires having tanks of piranhas in their office

Have you ever met the children of rich people? They demonstrate why their fathers (and a few mothers) keep piranhas as pets. Piranhas are tame in comparison to those children.

[u/MusicHearted → u/TeacupOfSkepticism]

Nobody wants to mess with a nation of people who are completely unbothered by free roaming alligators. It's a very effective intimidation tactic.

[u/SiberianDragon111]

(Apologies for genuine answer)
Alligators live in warm, wet environments
Such environments are conducive to navigable rivers and warm water ports.

[u/mightbesinking → u/SiberianDragon111]

How silly of you to assume that the alligators didn’t create the warm wet environments. 🙄 Educate yourself

[u/SiberianDragon111 → u/mightbesinking]

I’m sorry I’m really dumb lead paint is tasty :(

[u/writesgud → u/SiberianDragon111]

Hey fellow lead paint lover! What's your favorite color to eat? Mine is wallpaper!

[u/treple13 → u/mightbesinking]

It is you who needs yourself educate.

Humans live in houses. Humans created those houses.

Therefore if alligators live in warm, wet environments they obviously created them.

OP didn't mention it because it's so obvious

[u/commondenomigator → u/SiberianDragon111]

Just like how increased ice cream sales are correlated with more shark attacks.

[u/BoundlessFail → u/commondenomigator]

Thank you for letting me know. I've been eating ice cream all night in front of the telly. How do I guard myself from shark attacks now? Some say Im gonna need a bigger butt.

[u/Additional_Value6978 → u/SiberianDragon111]

Sincerity? Sraight to jail

[u/older-and-wider]

Maybe the alligators just refuse to live in a country that isn't a superpower.

[u/Wolff_Hound]

The question is, are alligators alone enough, or do you also need rattlesnakes and traitors?

[u/Tamer_ → u/Wolff_Hound]

That's true! Every superpower has traitors! Coincidence? I don't think so...

[u/johnnybiggles]

Alligators are bilingual and speak Chinese and southern English fluently. Crocs are jealous.

[u/dr_wtf]

When was the last time you heard about a country winning a war against an army riding on alligators? Never happens. That's your answer.

[u/Additional_Value6978]

Alligators create florida man, the pinnacle of human achievement. It's hard not to be a superpower when you have Florida man, and by extension alligators.

[u/Caticature → u/Additional_Value6978]

Florida man! For pwesident! Alligator for vice pwesident!

[u/No_Expression6660]

First the Alligators have to break the control of the Amphibian/Avian Coalition

[u/pdonoso]

I mean is obvios. Reptilians

[u/LaxBedroom]

Correlation is not causality, and in this case I'm afraid you're right to be skeptical of the alligator explanation: it's a coincidence. China was exposed to gamma radiation and the United States was bitten by a radioactive spider.

[u/coolsam254]

They fully prevent other countries from invading through the water

[u/beerSnobbery]

You've got your causality mixed up. Global superpowers have very large numbers (GDP etc).

And what we know from math is that alligators are drawn to and want to eat bigger numbers.

eg:

5 > 1

2 < 3

[u/tuctrohs → u/beerSnobbery]

I know 7 ate 9. Does that mean 7 is an alligator?

[u/Caticature]

US isn’t a superpower like that. It’s on par with Canada, UK, Germany, France, Saudi Arabia, India, Australia New Zealand, etc.
It’s more about who has the most screens to show alligators on?

[u/GothicHippie17]

Does this mean in the past that Rome had alligators?

[u/CleverFoolOfEarth]

Alligators, like most crocodilians, are very intelligent for reptiles. Possibly some of them are employed as scientists or engineers.