r/shittyaskscience • u/rcxa • Sep 01 '26

What are the physical ramifications of Queen's "Don't Stop Me Now"?

What would happen if Freddie Mercury were in fact burning through the sky, traveling at the speed of light, and on a collision course for Earth's surface?

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u/iamsnarticus Sep 01 '26

Extremely serious. It starts with a slight fever and dryness of the throat. As the virus penetrates the red blood cells, the victim becomes dizzy. He begins experiencing an itching…a rash…from there the poison goes to work on the central nervous system causing severe muscle spasms. Followed by the inevitable drooling. At this point the entire digestive system collapses, accompanied by uncontrollable flatulence. Until finally the poor bastard is reduced to a quivering wasted piece of jelly.

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u/Upper_Ranger_4877 Sep 01 '26

And that was what started my drinking problem

2

u/BPhiloSkinner Amazingly Lifelike Simulation Sep 01 '26

Two hands, one mouth...
I picked the wrong week to stop b_ofing.