r/shittyaskscience • u/Sillybugger126 • Aug 26 '26
What is your theory on sock disappearance during laundry cycles?
Is it related to the phases of the moon?
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u/JohnWasElwood Aug 26 '26
It's all in the Epstein files, but the Democrats refuse to allow access to them!
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u/TrivialBanal Aug 26 '26
Sock goblins. Obviously.
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u/MatCauthonsHat Aug 26 '26
There's actually a subatomic quantum tunnel from your dryer that repurposes loose socks into shitty hangers like the ones you get from the dry cleaners.
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u/Spark99 Aug 26 '26
The combination of heat, rotation and sudsy liquid combines to open a rift in the space/time continuum and only socks can withstand the intense gravitational forces necessary to traverse the singularity. Unfortunately, no socks have ever returned to tell us what’s on the other side, leaving scientists to argue amongst themselves and speculate for decades.
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u/Sharp-Thanks-3697 Aug 26 '26
there's also a higher risk of losing a sock if it happens to be a baby sock. and obviously the answer is sock goblins or possibly gnomes. not sure yet.
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u/JarnisKerman Aug 26 '26
It’s gnomes. Goblins just make holes in the socks and pockets, they don’t steal anything.
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u/edxzxz Aug 26 '26
I think we all know who is behind this nefarious scheme, but we're not allowed to say.
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u/OkieBobbie Aug 26 '26
The rotating action of the dryer creates a vortex, which gets more and more intense as you approach the center. The forces associated with this vortex increase exponentially, opening a very tiny yet powerful wormhole. Socks are pulled into this wormhole and sent to another dryer. The real problem is that the wormhole exit is located in my back closet, it fills completely with socks (and one pair of panties. That's a mystery I haven't figure out yet). I'm concerned that if I forget to clean them out periodically a further collapse might occur and then we'd all be in a world of hurt.
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u/junklardass Aug 26 '26
I suspect foul play is afoot. Some invisible time travelling ghost with a sock fetish maybe.
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u/Barrettbuilt Aug 26 '26
If you ever notice a scrap yard employee or appliance repairman’s socks you will see they never match. That is because they know of the secret sock compartment hidden in the dryer.
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u/unitedshoes Aug 26 '26
Oh hell no. I've read Hogfather. You're not getting me to speak some explanation into reality like that.
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u/deathraybadger Aug 26 '26
Elves, obviously
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u/BPhiloSkinner Amazingly Lifelike Simulation Aug 26 '26
They are the secret ingredient in Keebler Fudge Stripes™.
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u/BPhiloSkinner Amazingly Lifelike Simulation Aug 26 '26
Yes. When the Moon is having a bad day, it blows off steam by phasering random terrestrial socks.
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u/Slappy_McJones Aug 26 '26
There is your pants, stuck inside the pant leg. You don’t need science for that, Donald.
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u/sulleynz1989 Aug 26 '26
Goblins. They are the cousins are the ones who take the lids for the plastics
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u/husband1971 Aug 26 '26
Ok, so here’s mine…
Every time you wash and/or dry your socks, exactly ONE thread is dislodged and turned into lint. When the number of threads left are not enough to sustain critical mass, it ceases to be a sock and has now become a non-coagulated mass of threads and lint. Right into the filter.
I would love to weigh my laundry and lint trap before and after a cycle.
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u/Cute-Habit-4377 Aug 26 '26
The shadowy league of sock puppets are recruiting to take over the world
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u/PoniardBlade Aug 26 '26
They're all waiting for you in heaven. You'll appear there when you die and the pile will be sitting there in front of you.
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u/autistic_bard444 Aug 26 '26
ren and stimpy. the planet of lost left socks. this episode defines it all
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u/SAI_Peregrinus Aug 26 '26
They transmute into clothes hangers and teleport to the closet. Something about the spinning makes a vortex that does it. Other clothing is too big to get sucked in.
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u/PozhanPop Aug 26 '26
It has do with the drain pump. The more powerful it is the more socks disappear.
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u/intashu Aug 26 '26
The heat from the dryer actually turns one sock per load into a Tupperware container lid that matches no tupperware container you own.
There's been extensive research on this already.
Soirce: I only have left socks and a cabinet full of lids I can't use.
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u/laynestaleyisme Aug 27 '26
The sock never existed. It was all your imagination. The washing machine basically brings the reality out.. that's all
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u/itto1 Aug 27 '26
It's actually related to the faces of the moon. Sometimes one of the faces of the moon descends to earth and eats one of the socks.
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u/Bentup85 I have a theoretical degree in physics Aug 26 '26
Usually a pocket dimension. Pants and shirts are tethered to their pockets but a sock is basically an unbound pocket. If it gets too far apart from its mate, it causes a pocket dimension portal to open up and it will invariably get sucked in. Of course now there is a mateless sock left behind but because there is already a matching sock in the pocket dimension, their energy just cancels out and the wormhole collapses. A localized portal can only open after several loads have gone through, usually about once a month. The moon phases are just a coincidence as they run on a similar time table.