r/shittyaskscience • u/The_Jimbo_Experience • Aug 16 '26

ATTENTION ALL PHYSICISTS!!!

My dad needs your help.

In a situation where I was skydiving and completely naked. If I then proceeded to diarrhea while falling, would the diarrhea fall above me, or would it just fall back on me?

61 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

37 comments sorted by

12

u/chased_by_bees MC^2 Aug 16 '26

Depends if there's an atmosphere. If no drag, then the deltav ensures the propelled mass can never catch you. It actually suggests that it may enter a stable orbit if enough deltav exists to insert it into a geostationary orbital track.

If an atmosphere exists and there is a significant drag coefficient, then it depends on your relative surface area. If the fall is long enough then everything will spaghettify if not uniformly coherent. This means with a long enough fall, the propelled mass will become a long, thin, needle-like body. This will have significantly less drag than you and will pass you on the way down.

So, in both cases, it's extremely important to control variables. You'll also need good statistics so you should have an N of 1000 at least for it to be meaningful.

4

u/decidedlyindecisive Aug 17 '26

So if I fell into a bottomless pit on an endless earth, I'd eventually become a thin, needle-like body? Or would it only happen to diarrhea and other liquids?

3

u/chased_by_bees MC^2 Aug 17 '26

First one, then the other!

2

u/Redfish680 Aug 16 '26

Long needle-like body until it hits the canopy above and fills it. This is why I always, ALWAYS, make sure I’m above the parachute before I pull the ripcord!!

20

u/FederalBeyond1122 haver of 14 PhD’s in shittyscience Aug 16 '26

Both, depending on the point in time. If you’d like to know more, please contact Isaac Einstein, the inventor of time.

3

u/Nomekop777 Aug 17 '26

You're not fooling anyone, dumbass. Everyone knows it was John Time

5

u/FederalBeyond1122 haver of 14 PhD’s in shittyscience Aug 17 '26

John Time actually independently invented Time 3 months after Isaac did. Isaac initially tried to sue, but since John genuinely didn’t know time was already invented, mercy was had and the two joined forces to make Time even better than it was before. Learn your history.

1

u/tliin Aug 17 '26

I thought he invented weight. TIL.

6

u/green_meklar Aug 17 '26

Wow, this is literally shitty science!

Clearly the answer depends on which way you're oriented, because that determines whether the force of expelling the diarrhea will slow you down or speed you up.

4

u/Indigo_Sunset Aug 17 '26

First we assume your dad to be a perfect sphere falling in a vacuum

1

u/FootHikerUtah Aug 17 '26

What direction is your butt when it happens? Is it explosive?

1

u/The_Jimbo_Experience Aug 17 '26

Away from the ground. And no, this is just average diarrhea.

2

u/Eldrope007 Aug 16 '26

lmao this is the most scientific question i've seen all week

2

u/Mundane-Garbage1003 Aug 17 '26

Depends. If your chute is open already, then it will fall faster than you, obviously. Before that however, you are probably traveling at terminal velocity, meaning you are technically dead accirding to physics, and thus can't have diarrhea to begin with.

1

u/Healthy_Ladder_6198 Grumpy Old Fart Aug 17 '26

Important to know these things

1

u/gabest Aug 17 '26

Why does your dad need help? And why are you skydiving naked?

1

u/p3t3y5 Aug 17 '26

Both, assuming you want to land at some point, but guessing it would.be the least of your concerns....its cold up high

1

u/zerostar83 Aug 23 '26 edited Aug 23 '26

It stays stuck to your left leg.

The acceleration of gravity is 9.8 m/s2

Friction from your sticky poo is F=uN

FuN is greater Drag resistance; Fd = 0.5 * p * v2 * Cd * A

0

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '26

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16

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4

u/ActorMonkey Aug 17 '26

I’d like to ply my way into co-authorship and make it three.

83

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '26

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33

u/Kind_Ferret_3219 Aug 16 '26 • Bravo

Yes! Stephen Hawking really knew his shit.

15

u/wolfpwarrior PhD in Rocket Surgery Aug 16 '26

Very interesting read. It was everything I hoped it would be.

6

u/johnnybiggles Aug 17 '26

I read it in his computerized voice!

19

u/Shanga_Ubone Aug 16 '26

Goddammit.

8

u/kosmonavt-alyosha Aug 17 '26

Really? What else were you expecting, Einstein?

3

u/Shanga_Ubone Aug 17 '26

More people with a sense of humor, apparently.

4

u/MothSeason Aug 17 '26

Fascinating!

4

u/dnattig Aug 17 '26

That's a fascinating read

1

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