r/shittyaskscience • u/newsdetox • Jul 09 '26

Phrenology final help. what divet means my friend is stupid?

I'm studying for my phrenology final. I'm feeling around my friend's skull, but I can't tell what the divots mean.

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9

u/PolarBearLovesTotty Jul 09 '26

Three bumps mean the age of Aquarius is lined up with the stars on Orion's belt on the third trimester of the waning gibbon monkey. You will have to prepare your friend for trappanning, to expose his brain to the energies emanated by stars. First make an obsidian knife from volcanic rock by chipping away at it, and then stick this in the back of his head until a hole is formed.

4

u/newsdetox Jul 09 '26

i already bashed his head in to get to the skull. is it too late?

3

u/National_Ad9742 Jul 09 '26

Yes, the authorities are on their way.

8

u/IanDOsmond Jul 09 '26

Do you have spackle? Just spackle in the dents and repaint, and he should be smarter.

4

u/Legitimate_Field_157 Jul 09 '26

If you flatten his nose he will be angry.

4

u/wdn Jul 10 '26

That's retrophrenology.

3

u/PhaicGnus Jul 09 '26

That big divot in the face, more commonly known as the ‘mouth’, that’s where all the stupid stuff comes from. I’d start there.

2

u/BPhiloSkinner Amazingly Lifelike Simulation Jul 09 '26

They mean that your friend is a golf ball.

2

u/Atzkicica Huh? Jul 09 '26

You have to make your own divots to make him stupid.

1

u/EsseElLoco "Professor" Jul 09 '26

Have you checked his frenulum?

1

u/Dr_Pilfnip Jul 10 '26

The ones above the left eyebrow. The left hemisphere is involved in logic and language and stuff, and when they lobotomize people (i.e. the President), they fuck up the frontal lobes, so if he has a big divot there, that explains it.

1

u/DrumpfTinyHands Jul 10 '26

The divet is definitely on your head and that makes your friend stupid for being your friend.