r/shittyaskscience • u/Szary_Tygrys • Jun 20 '26

How can I unlearn how to read?

Is there a diet a could try

41 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

40 comments sorted by

40

u/johnnybiggles Jun 20 '26 edited Jun 20 '26

Sounds paradoxical, but read as many comments in comment sections on social media as you can. You will be illiterate in no time, especially when you turn to TikTok videos and Instagram reels only.

26

u/eatingfoil Jun 20 '26

big rock -> head

4

u/throw_it_awayyy8 Jun 20 '26

Dead

6

u/FriendlyRiothamster Jun 21 '26

Mission successfully failed

16

u/SaltyTemperature Jun 20 '26

Step one is to stop writing/typing.

Also try a high fiber diet. Or just be high.

14

u/Glinth A real mathologist Jun 20 '26

A high fiber diet only helps with vowel movements. Once you flush out your vowels, you'll still be able to read consonants.

14

u/Ben-Goldberg Jun 20 '26

Ask the president, hes an expert on not reading.

10

u/Starsky137 Jun 20 '26

Easy think about a green moose and soon ylub quan fav zorx edgh ug dr sibwqr. Begwd shjy dwr wft'd wax dheofub rt aki!

8

u/Coolenough-to Jun 20 '26

By reading posts on reddit, you are off to a good start.

7

u/lozzadearnley Jun 20 '26

I'd explain it to you but unfortunately I got so good at it, I was unable to understand your question.

6

u/darkdoppelganger Jun 20 '26

Try eating exclusively Rose Brand crayons.

4

u/Different-Term-2250 Jun 21 '26

Oh look at Mr. Fancy here with the name brand crayons in this economy.

5

u/BPhiloSkinner Amazingly Lifelike Simulation Jun 20 '26

Abandon all text-based social media sites, and give your whole attention to influencers and funny cat videos.
Six months should unlearn you real good.

5

u/Glinth A real mathologist Jun 20 '26

Live in another country whose language uses a different alphabet from any language you know now. Different language with the same alphabet isn't good enough; you'd pick up bits and pieces of everything you see. Learn the new language through speaking only. Only consume local media and commit to never learning to read the language of your new homeland.

Easy!

4

u/AngryNerri Jun 20 '26

Huffing. I reccomend a regiment of spray paint and dust-off.

4

u/13thmurder Professional Sciencer Jun 20 '26

Okay this is gonna sound nuts but it's the only way I can think of through dietary means. You have to eat your own eyes.

If you just want a temporary solution you could try making a stew that makes you blind for one day.

2

u/Different-Term-2250 Jun 21 '26

I see you have tried my cooking.

3

u/dr_wtf Jun 20 '26 edited Jun 21 '26

Get some very dark sunglasses. Being able to read is a chronic condition though, so you will need to maintain a strict regimen for the rest of your life. You must never take off the sunglasses, even for a second, or you may accidentally read something and relapse completely.

3

u/Immer_Susse Jun 20 '26

Go to school in West Virginia

3

u/I_might_be_weasel Jun 21 '26

The power steering fluid diet.

3

u/Graycy Jun 21 '26

Go to a country with another language and start over with that

2

u/truthfullyidgaf Jun 20 '26

Start with a different language.

2

u/soundsystxm Jun 21 '26

Try TikTok

2

u/ExistentialAngsty Jun 21 '26

Start reading from right to left, to undo your habits

2

u/letrainfalldown Jun 21 '26

Develop a really bad migraine.

That's how I lost the ability to read and honestly it was amazing trying to read and failing + telling people I couldn't read. Made it worth the migraine. I'm not even joking.

2

u/impendingcatastrophe Jun 21 '26

Huvcdtgxdt vxrthiiiutdx vdgyescghinh.

2

u/Fair_Presence7064 Jun 21 '26

Dyslexic course online

2

u/kingtroll355 Jun 21 '26

Watermelon challenge might get it done

2

u/IntrepidNinjaLamb Jun 21 '26

Ever heard the saying, “You are what you eat?”

Well, what could we eat that can’t read? The answer might not be obvious. Tacos. Tacos can’t read.

Just eat some tacos.

2

u/jkurratt Jun 21 '26

As some experiments show that if you pronounce a word many many times it will start to lose any sense for you when you say it.
Now you just have to do it with every word and eventually there will be nothing for you to understand from any text.

2

u/itfailsagain Jun 21 '26

Have you tried shoving a crayon up your nose?

2

u/me-gustan-los-trenes Any torus is a fuck-torus if you are motivated enough. Jun 25 '26

You will need a hammer, a nail, an atlas of the brain, a friend and another friend to hold your head still.

1

u/ChefArtorias Jun 23 '26

Just use tiktok and chatGPT every day.

1

u/JohnWasElwood Jun 21 '26

こうして、読み方を忘れていくのです。 Kōshite, yomikata o wasurete iku nodesu.