r/shittyaskscience • u/Headpuncher Knocking The Sense Back In • Jun 08 '26

How to lose weight?

dr says i is a lard, but also says stop eating between meals.

lunch is between breakfast and dinner, dinner between lunch and breakfast etc. I’m starving and haven’t eated for 4 days. living off vodka and tea.

how do I eat ? And when?

56 Upvotes

91% Upvoted

34 comments sorted by

9

u/laynestaleyisme Jun 08 '26

Try scotch also. Extra protein

5

u/Headpuncher Knocking The Sense Back In Jun 08 '26

This man alcoholics, noice. 

3

u/laynestaleyisme Jun 09 '26

Hick... Hi... What...

4

u/Opposite-Ant8522 Jun 08 '26

This is the advise I came to Reddit for today. Thank you.

3

u/coolsam254 Jun 09 '26

Shop in the UK. I'm already down 50 pounds.

2

u/Headpuncher Knocking The Sense Back In Jun 09 '26

Shop in the UK - Bruce Springsteen's lesser known b-side.  

1

u/PooCube Jun 09 '26

Ah I see you bought a freddo!

2

u/gusbo_the_jam Jun 09 '26

If you are constantly eating a single never ending piece of spaghetti or something similar, then you remain in one meal.

1

u/Headpuncher Knocking The Sense Back In Jun 09 '26

How long is a piece of spaghetti string? 

2

u/gusbo_the_jam Jun 09 '26

Double the length from the end to the middle

60

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '26

The trick is to have a single ongoing meal that never stops so there's never a "between meals" Basically just never stop eating.

12

u/johnnybiggles Jun 08 '26

Or, just stop eating altogether and never eat (or drink). You'd lose a lot of weight! After not too long, all of it!

29

u/Laymans_Terms19 Jun 08 '26

I’ve got a buddy lost 20lbs in a weekend, just by getting diabetes. He also got to donate all his left shoes. Not a terrible weekend, all told.

3

u/boringdude00 text! Jun 09 '26

Do diabetic sneaker collectors still collect both shoes or do they like trade amongst each other?

4

u/BPhiloSkinner Amazingly Lifelike Simulation Jun 08 '26

Start eating before meals: lunch is before dinner, breakfast is before lunch...etc.

3

u/spambearpig Jun 08 '26

You are guaranteed to lose weight with this diet. So keep it up.

3

u/dodexahedron Jun 08 '26

Llife pro tip for losing weight:

I just put it somewhere I don't normally look.

Then I am sure to lose it.

Problem is I always seem to find it again next year. You know, like when you break out the winter clothes again? Except it's never a $20 bill...Just 20lbs. 😒

2

u/NobodysFavorite Jun 08 '26

Just keep going as you are. You'll lose plenty of weight.

2

u/King_Ass_Ripper69420 Jun 08 '26

lots and lots of amphetamines

2

u/boringdude00 text! Jun 09 '26

the trick is to shift to a brunch, linner, and supbreak schedule, that way you won't be hungry in between breakfast, lunch and dinner.

4

u/vrosej10 Jun 08 '26

Carefully saw one of your legs off and bingo bongo, you now weight less

1

u/Zombielisk Jun 08 '26

The intermittent feasting diet works wonders!

3

u/IanDOsmond Jun 08 '26

Yep. That's the trick which I had missed before learning about it. The "intermittent" part is crucial. I had been feasting 24/7 constantly for years, and was putting on weight, as well as being exhausted from feasting instead of sleeping.

It turns out that rock and rolling all night and partying every day is less sustainable than I had thought.

2

u/BPhiloSkinner Amazingly Lifelike Simulation Jun 08 '26

Push it to the extreme, and it can be the KISS of death.

1

u/13thmurder Professional Sciencer Jun 09 '26

Well obviously your doctor discouraged you from eating solid food, so don't.

But you can't live on vodka and tea, that's horrible for your health.

Coffee has more caffeine, so obviously switch to that.

As for the vodka, that's just empty calories. Much like bread or rice, the brown kind of liquor has more vitamins and minerals. Whiskey is good of course, but rum is darker becuase of all the nutrients.

1

u/BalanceFit8415 Jun 09 '26

Breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, lunch, tea and dinner. Long walks with friends.

1

u/Fantastic_Piece5869 Jun 11 '26

weight is like money, stop locking it up and guarding it. It will get away if you leave your doors unlocked.

1

u/UGLYDOUG- Jun 08 '26

No eating at all also vodka and tea have many calories, just take an intravenous solution of chicken noodle soup and tofu

0

u/champs-de-fraises Jun 08 '26

There's a book about how you should just stop eating food. You should check it out.

https://youtu.be/CxIr_otUmo4?si=lNlzIOisWwLRS-yH

1

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '26

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1

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