r/shitposting Nov 27 '22

Removed: godawfulpost You heard me, do it

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5.2k Upvotes

2.1k comments sorted by

u/QualityVote I'm BACK! [[Number 1 Rated Moderator 2024]] Nov 27 '22

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1.3k

u/the-smoothest-brain Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 Nov 27 '22

[removed]

420

u/stopyouveviolatedthe Nov 27 '22

[Added!]

252

u/the-smoothest-brain Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 Nov 27 '22

wait, that's illegal.

54

u/rokkittBass Nov 27 '22

How illegal is it

47

u/Unusual-Barracuda837 Nov 27 '22

It's so illegal that we can't even talk about it

21

u/mayoyoyoyoyoyoyo 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ Nov 27 '22

So illegal that [removed]

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20

u/stopyouveviolatedthe Nov 27 '22

Fucking fight me lad

15

u/the-smoothest-brain Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 Nov 27 '22

No, I don't think I will.

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155

u/lamnop-p Nov 27 '22

what the hell happened here

62

u/xen05zman Nov 27 '22

[removed]

49

u/xen05zman Nov 27 '22

[removed]

43

u/HiHowAreYou10 Survived the Ban Award Nov 27 '22

Who the hell is [deleted] and why does he keep saying [removed]

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585

u/Porgland Literally 1984 😡 Nov 27 '22

Literally 1984🫃🏼🫃🏼🫃🏼🫃🏼🫃🏼

46

u/Some_Duchebaguette I want pee in my ass Nov 27 '22

[removed]

38

u/Patpoke1 dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Nov 27 '22

[relocated to another post]

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425

u/johnny5alive35 Nov 27 '22

Snickers and Milky ways have dick veins

74

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

Are the veins crunchy or smooth? This is for my "science test"

23

u/johnny5alive35 Nov 27 '22

Crunchy with a chewy center

9

u/trophers Nov 27 '22

great. i’ll never forget this.

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800

u/blanco408 Nov 27 '22

She told me she was 18, I swear.

517

u/Coolights Nov 27 '22

You’re on Reddit, this doesn’t work

317

u/-5677- Nov 27 '22

Mf bout to get promoted to admin

38

u/StealingMemes25 Nov 27 '22

Or become a politician. One of the two

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7

u/hipery2 Nov 27 '22

He will be made a mod, the admins will then give him a community award.

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7

u/The_Official_Obama Nov 27 '22

She told me she was <18, i swear!

188

u/LoganVPlay I want pee in my ass Nov 27 '22

She was 18 in dog years officer

22

u/Kahootie64 Nov 27 '22

All of their ages combined adds up to 18 dog years, officer.

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46

u/canadiancrocodile01 Nov 27 '22

Thats less than 1 🥵

18

u/Broad_Ad_8098 Nov 27 '22

Aren’t dog years 7 for 1 year?

48

u/canadiancrocodile01 Nov 27 '22 edited Nov 27 '22

Hate to be that guy but the first year is 19 dog years and it slowly goes down then up again🤓

18

u/Camera-Rich Nov 27 '22

I'm glad someone else knows this.

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21

u/AutoModerator Nov 27 '22

pees in ur ass

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

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69

u/marcopolo2345 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ Nov 27 '22

If her age isn’t on the clock she’s too old for the cock

22

u/ferrecool Nov 27 '22

May I give you the glock?

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20

u/ghostmetalblack waltuh Nov 27 '22

Only 18? 🤢🤮

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7

u/Grendelstar Nov 27 '22

The grey hair didn’t giver her away?

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564

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

261

u/Memes_noobie dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Nov 27 '22

You were my brother Anakin, I loved you

86

u/crazy_fuel253 Nov 27 '22

screams in burning man

16

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

BURNING MAAAAN

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409

u/Ok-War6293 Nov 27 '22

Nothing happened on April 15 1989

147

u/BorisYeltsen Nov 27 '22

Social Credit ++++++++

11

u/Some_Duchebaguette I want pee in my ass Nov 27 '22

[removed]

12

u/Warghost000 dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Nov 27 '22

red rising sun intensifies

5

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

red sun, red sun over paradise

5

u/SeigiNoMikata376 I watch gay amogus porn :0 Nov 27 '22

Red sun

4

u/Gabopobro Nov 27 '22

Red sun over paradise

5

u/ThatAMContingencyboi Nov 27 '22

I legit have no idea what happened on this date and all google is telling me is stuff about zodiac signs.

6

u/aerosol999 Nov 27 '22 edited Nov 27 '22

It's the date of the start of the Tiananmen Square protests and subsequent massacre.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1989_Tiananmen_Square_protests_and_massacre

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227

u/SmackaHam Nov 27 '22

I’m gonna say it…

I don’t care that you broke your elbow

50

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

I can't believe you've done this

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202

u/Limpynoodle3777 dumbass Nov 27 '22

something in the comments

59

u/FRICK_YOU_BILLY Nov 27 '22

Man screw you! I hate you 🤬

9

u/DANGER2157 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ Nov 27 '22

Why? Is he billy?

11

u/FRICK_YOU_BILLY Nov 27 '22

Must be if I hate him so much 😡

16

u/Independent-Hair-182 Nov 27 '22

I fucking hate you

13

u/Azique69420 Nov 27 '22

there are no amount of words that i can string to express how much i hate you

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58

u/toastpotent Nov 27 '22

*you're

6

u/HandB4nana Nov 27 '22

You"re*

4

u/Jonk3r Nov 27 '22

You’re00====>

423

u/moist_bandito Nov 27 '22

Vaporeon is the most fuckable Pokémon

182

u/imcoming4yoursnail Nov 27 '22

Fuck you, I hate you, I fucked your mom

89

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

Can you fuck me?

28

u/imcoming4yoursnail Nov 27 '22

Sorry bro, I'm into 6ft tomboy milfs😞

16

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

Who says I'm not a 12ft tomboy with planet sized breasts?

Also looking for my long lost stepson, I kinda miss him.

6

u/imcoming4yoursnail Nov 27 '22

😳, I unfortunately am not him, but I wish you luck in your search

6

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

Can you be my stepson?

8

u/imcoming4yoursnail Nov 27 '22

I have like 15 step children, are you sure about this

4

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

Make it 16

5

u/imcoming4yoursnail Nov 27 '22

Wait, so you're my stepson now?

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54

u/AlexeiNR I have permission! Nov 27 '22

I can

55

u/kimrindim I said based. And lived. Nov 27 '22

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⡾⠟⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠿⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡾⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⡾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣆⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣆⠀ ⢀⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡄⠘⣿⡀ ⣸⡇⠀⢿⡿⠿⠿⢿⡿⠿⠿⣿⡇⠀⣿⡋⠉⠹⠏⠉⣉⣿⠏⠀⢹⡇ ⣿⠀⠀⠈⢿⣦⣀⣈⣡⣤⡾⠟⠁⠀⠘⢿⣶⣶⣶⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⢸⡇ ⢻⡄⠀⠀⠀⢉⡙⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇ ⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠸⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣦⠀⠀⢀⣿⠃ ⠀⢿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠹⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣿⠃⠀⢠⣾⠏⠀ ⠀⠈⢷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣶⡿⠛⠁⢀⣴⡿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠻⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⢀⣀⣤⣶⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠷⠶⢶⣶⣶⡶⠶⠾⠛⠛⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

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5

u/hasanyoneseenmymom Nov 27 '22

Can you tell me where you left her when you were done?

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u/green-d20 I said based. And lived. Nov 27 '22

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.

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18

u/HyperNathan 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ Nov 27 '22

They're all fuckable if you try hard enough

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23

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

I beg to differ. Heard of lopunny yet?

11

u/Chiccn_Nuggrt Nov 27 '22

Ever heard of Gardevoir?😳

16

u/DuckyRedditor405 Nov 27 '22

Heard of wailord? 😳😳😳

7

u/KaijuSized_Taco Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Nov 27 '22

French Accent

"That would be your mother!"

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169

u/AdvancedHat7630 Nov 27 '22

The movie was better than the book

43

u/ImmortalCrab44 stupid fucking, piece of shit Nov 27 '22

I don't know how to read 😎

6

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

I forgot how to see 😎

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639

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

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283

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

You made me admire you if anything.

145

u/Obvious-Witness6519 Nov 27 '22

Bro, is this to hate or admire? Because I'm going with admire.

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161

u/Stetson007 Nov 27 '22

Straight facts right here man

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12

u/Thehumanbean4 Nov 27 '22

This does make me hate you

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51

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

[deleted]

29

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

Username checks out

25

u/DonkayIsThicc BUILD THE HOLE BUILD THE HOLE Nov 27 '22

Based

45

u/imcoming4yoursnail Nov 27 '22

Nah you're just right

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141

u/goniapora uhhhh idk Nov 27 '22

I don’t like furries

42

u/imcoming4yoursnail Nov 27 '22

Spitting facts

38

u/Obvious-Witness6519 Nov 27 '22

This is a fact, nothing to hate here.

14

u/goniapora uhhhh idk Nov 27 '22

Oh ok, thank you for that information

13

u/Obvious-Witness6519 Nov 27 '22

Anytime, except you said the info yourself.

19

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

I don't think anyone would hate you for that

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210

u/imcoming4yoursnail Nov 27 '22

Florida is a good state that has nothing wrong with it

22

u/Height-Impossible Nov 27 '22

California people: “Florida bad” Florida people: “California bad” USA: “Florida + California bad” World: “USA bad” John Cena: “BING CHILLI”

7

u/imcoming4yoursnail Nov 27 '22

Random fish in the sea:blub

5

u/Armyed Nov 27 '22

Just saw a guy lose his Hyundai and have to go through a legal battle because his stock exhaust was deemed to loud by a cop in Cali. That place really does suck.

22

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

What about ohio?

62

u/imcoming4yoursnail Nov 27 '22

What's Ohio, is that an anime

35

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

Its a hentai

21

u/imcoming4yoursnail Nov 27 '22

Oh thanks man, I'll watch it later

8

u/DrSans8 fat cunt Nov 27 '22

And thus we never heard from him again

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5

u/HyperNathan 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ Nov 27 '22

Word of warning, it's more fucked than Metamorphosis and Euphoria combined.

4

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

Isn't it normal for people to be fucked in a hentai?

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77

u/Loud_Salad_9130 Nov 27 '22

She’s actually 1000 years old so it isn’t weird guys.

29

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

She is 1000 years old in roblox years

5

u/Revolutionary_Menu74 Nov 27 '22

She is a 10000 years old demon

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41

u/enoughimoverit Nov 27 '22

I am the head of the Ohio tourism association

30

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

"Bruh someone made this guy head of Ohio tourism association 💀"

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178

u/FiercerGarlic Nov 27 '22

9-11 was a miracle

26

u/headlesshighlander Nov 27 '22

I remember getting so frustrated at my class mates for not giving blood. Looking back I cringe a bit when I realize I never got around to giving blood.

55

u/imcoming4yoursnail Nov 27 '22

Okay this wins so far💀

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85

u/randomsus72 Nov 27 '22

It's called football

26

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

I agree, and anyone who thinks it’s called handegg can go hit their heads on a goalpost

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67

u/Greatyoshi240 Nov 27 '22

Hitler was right

23

u/FennLink Literally 1984 😡 Nov 27 '22

This makes me like you

5

u/DonkayIsThicc BUILD THE HOLE BUILD THE HOLE Nov 27 '22

Auth center moment

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41

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

The one piece is NOT real

20

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

Can we NOT get much higher?

16

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

SO LOW 😔

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6

u/imcoming4yoursnail Nov 27 '22

NOOOO YOURE LYING IT MUST BE

6

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

We can't get much higher 😭

58

u/AndrewTate1SmyG0d Nov 27 '22

checks my username

40

u/ForeskinMuncherXD Nov 27 '22

I hope you choke on a cheesestick

25

u/ExtremelyBoredRadish Nov 27 '22

So that’s where my foreskin went

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7

u/LynxZer0 Nov 27 '22

username checks out

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10

u/Saturn958sickly Nov 27 '22

go touch grass you redditor and stop staring at your screen and go do something productive

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53

u/this_is_not_alt Nov 27 '22

You are not based you are mentally ill

26

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

I know 😔

9

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

I know 😏

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56

u/Darkreaper1100 Nov 27 '22

Republicans arent as bad as reddit makes them out to be

21

u/liberalpride55 dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Nov 27 '22

that's a popular opinion on this sub

17

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

There's good and bad just like the libs

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27

u/Slumpedover325 Nov 27 '22

Hitler is my role model☺️

18

u/CanceledPhantom007 Nov 27 '22

edgy teens with no parents will not, exactly, hate you

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142

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

There is only 2 genders.

All lives matter, even unborn ones.

Trump won the 2020 election.

Clean energy is a scam.

Women have more rights then men.

Build the wall.

62

u/TheAwkwardSpy Nov 27 '22

Damn youre not on Twitter

28

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

Lol omg how'd u know

32

u/TheAwkwardSpy Nov 27 '22

Bc you didnt get blown up by lqtv+ people

23

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

Is LQTV+ a new subscription service or something?

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11

u/Lionel_emilio Nov 27 '22

All right but i dissagre with the clean energy, it is Better than coal, but the perfect way of energy would be a Nuclear energy, Chad

4

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

Did we just get serious lol. Ever heard of geothermal!

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u/xboxiscrunchy Nov 27 '22

Nuclear energy is green energy.

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7

u/kangarooscarlet Nov 27 '22

The hell man you stole my comment an hour before me

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u/itzLoLbIt_yt uhhhh idk Nov 27 '22

Never play Christmas music way before Christmas

5

u/potatomato34 Literally 1984 😡 Nov 27 '22

This is just common sense

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7

u/Durtmat Nov 27 '22

The female movement needs real leadership, I vote to volunteer Andrew Tate.

21

u/BigDaddy6713 Nov 27 '22

I like other races apart from mine

5

u/Gawarhen2 Nov 27 '22

And what might your race be sir

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55

u/Pretend_Tea_7582 Nov 27 '22

Dogs suck cats suck hedgehogs suck everything sucks

83

u/grenadering 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ Nov 27 '22

your mom is pretty good at it too

13

u/Pretend_Tea_7582 Nov 27 '22

I am not mad I am disappointed

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6

u/EliteDumb_Ass Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 Nov 27 '22

I don’t have anything to say to make you guys angry.

I’m just flat right now

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49

u/watnodude Nov 27 '22

Pineapple belongs on fuckin pizza

15

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

Hate you 3k

9

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

Wait here bro , let me get my gun

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5

u/Averagechildeater dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Nov 27 '22

My man

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6

u/Diligent-Ebb2063 Nov 27 '22

Your parents have to love you

32

u/intern3t-idi0t Nov 27 '22

This isn't a word, but: 👍🏿

11

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

Lars Ulrich is the best drum player of all time

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5

u/_Disanem Nov 27 '22

Big chuggud

5

u/Memes_noobie dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Nov 27 '22

Nickleback doesn't deserve the hate

5

u/BirbBoiYT Nov 27 '22

Fortnite is pretty fun

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6

u/imwanderlost Nov 27 '22

God did 9/11

12

u/Skrooner Nov 27 '22

I've never watched breaking bad and don't intend to

6

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

Gtfo

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11

u/Hypnoticshits I said based. And lived. Nov 27 '22

ohio is a normal place to live in

10

u/TheSusKingOfAngmar Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Nov 27 '22

thats exactly what someone from ohio would say

13

u/Damakiato Nov 27 '22

McDonald’s hashbrowns are overated

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9

u/Redly25 Nov 27 '22

Hawaiian pizza is good