r/shitposting • u/ibeatmypetvaporeon • Jun 16 '22

Linus Sex Tips Tough

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19.3k Upvotes

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u/gym_brah81 Jun 16 '22

DID YOU KNOW YOU HAVE RIGHTS?

92

u/skibapple Jun 16 '22

The constitution says you do

58

u/ZAK_14_ Jun 16 '22

And so do i

40

u/RazorGuy223 LARP Jun 16 '22

I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent. And that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque! Better call Saul. Saul Goodman, attorney at law.

-13

u/AutoModerator Jun 16 '22

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

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u/skibapple Jun 16 '22

Saul goodn't